Wally Comic Strips - Page 19
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1000 Results for Wally
View 181 - 190 results for Wally comic strips. Discover the best "Wally" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday July 27,
1994
Tags broke code, can't be measured, cut pay, depend on meeting, own darn fault, sales targets
Transcript
"From now on, twenty percent of your pay will depend on the company meeting its sales targets." "In effect, we'll cut your pay and tell you it's your own darn fault." "Will the sales target be based on a complex formula and involve numbers that can't be accurately measured?" "You broke the code!"
Thursday July 28,
1994
Tags gerard depardieu, ceo, productive work, overhead transparencies, exaggerate value, uglier coworkers, actors
Transcript
The Boss: Our CEO will visit here next week. You all know what to do. Dilbert: we should stop all productive work and create overhead transparencies that exggerate our value. The Boss: and a few of our uglier coworkers will be replaced by actors. Dilbert: As long as its no Gerard Depardieu.
Sunday July 31,
1994
Tags boost morale, alpha project, atta boy certificate, lazy imposter, wallyina, indian name, gives award, alice gets award
Transcript
"I'd like to boost morale by presenting this 'Attaboy' certificate to Willy." "It's Wally, not Willy." "I becomes an A with a dot over it." "Wink" "Anyway, this is for your good work on the Alpha project." "Thanks, but I didn't work on the Alpha project." "Get out of my sight, you lazy imposter!" "With a little bit of luck, I can pull this out." "I give you your Indian name: Wallyina"
Wednesday August 10,
1994
Tags profits down, bring own pencils, sell them, sidewalk, beg for money, money down
Transcript
"Profits are down again this quarter." "That's bad." "Starting tomorrow, you'll have to bring your own pencils to the office." "That's bad." "And you'll have to sell them out on the sidewalk." "That's bad."
Thursday August 11,
1994
Tags tough year, special team, much smaller team
Transcript
"This will be a tough year for the company." "It will take a special kind of team to get by." "Go team!" "Team! Team!" "Yes!" "Specifically, it will take a much smaller team."
Friday August 12,
1994
Tags still single, shower, recoup money, wedding gifts, baby showers, bitter, election hut, registered
Transcript
"Wally, you're invited to a 'Still Single' shower in my honor." "I'm trying to recoup all the money I've blown on wedding gifts and baby showers." "Someone's feeling a little bitter today." "I have a pattern registered at 'Electron Hut'."
Sunday August 14,
1994
Tags boyfriend/girlfreind, buddies, close freinds, friends explined, mans best freind, platonic friends, work friends
Transcript
"Friends Explained" "A Very Special 'Dilbert'." "Close friends." "May I borrow your gum?" "Sure, reach in and take what you need." "Buddies" "May I borrow your hammer?" "Why not use your forehead as usual?" "Work Friends" "So, how's your wife?" "Dead, same as last week." "Boyfriend/girlfriend (stereotypical view)" "Love." "Lust." "Boyfriend/girlfriend (modern correct view)" "Lust." "Television." "Platonic friends" "Television?" "Lust." "Man's Best Friend" "By my estimate there are 2.6 billion females who do NOT desire you." "Name them."
Monday August 15,
1994
Tags management fast tracker, deliver big report, ceo, fax, shredder, tricked, punked, contempt
Transcript
"Hey, Matt. How's our favorite management fast-tracker?" "Great! I've got two minutes to deliver my big report to our CEO. Can you tell me where the fax is?" "Oops, I'm wrong. That's the shredder." "He'll go far in this company." "Bzzzzp."
Wednesday August 17,
1994
Tags customer service, downsize, improve service
Transcript
The Boss: Our two goals this year are to downsize and to improve customer service. Dilbert: question: how can you improve service if you're getting rid f service people? The Boss: who do you think is screwing up the customer service? duh...
Thursday August 18,
1994
Tags fired, outplacement agency, own cubicle, photocopies, food stamps, dollar bills
Transcript
The Boss: "You're fired, Wally. But since we care, we've contracted an outplacement agency to help you." The Boss: "You'll get your own cubicle. And you can make all the photocopies you want!" Wally: "What would I want to photocopy?" The Boss: "Food stamps, dollar bills, that sort of thing."


