Add Water Comic Strips - Page 19

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

221 Results for Add Water

View 181 - 190 results for add water comic strips. Discover the best "Add Water" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #competition (psychology), #thinking, #ceos technology challenge, #innovative ideas, #fresh water, #elbonia, #award winning ideas, #water in a box

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: I'm proud to announce the winner in the CEO's technology challenge. Two weeks ago, I challenged you to come up with innovative ideas for getting fresh water to Elbonia. The winner is someone named Wally. Wally's idea for bringing fresh water to Elbonia is... "in a box." That's the best one? Boss: We only had one entry. CEO: I hate your bald guts. Wally: I get that a lot. If you need me, I'll be in my cubicle thinking up award-winning ideas.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #vendor, #software patch, #installed, #add value, #tested, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Ask the vendor if they have a software patch to fix our problem. Dilbert: I already asked for the patch, installed it, and thoroughly tested in in production. Boss: I think I'll go add value someplace else. Dilbert: That's a good place to do it.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #exercise & fitness, #fear, #obesity, #insanity workout video, #sixty pounds, #one day, #sweat, #water weight, #obsession

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: Weren't you obese yesterday? Dilbert: I got the "Insanity" workout video. Wally: What kind of exercise makes you lose sixty pounds in one day? Dilbert: I didn't exercise. All I did was watch it. Shaun T: And that was the easy part...

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #laziness, #stress

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: I am always tense and I don't know why. Wally: It's the tyranny of expectations, Asok. People still expect you to add value. Competence is a vicious cycle. Asok: Can you teach me to be useless like you? Wally: It's better if I don't so you can learn by example.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ten things, #leaders do, #nine habits, #successful people, #article, #time management, #tricks, #good leadership, #listening skills

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: Did you get the link I sent about the ten things all leaders need to do? I also sent you an article about the nine habits of successful people. And I sent you an article about the time management tricks used by successful people. According ti my research. There are 17,429 tricks you need to master to be a good leader. That might seem like a lot. But if you master ten per year, you'll be 1.2% competent by the time you retire. Boss: Why are we having this conversation? Wally: Im going to add "Listening skills" to the list.

Showering In Tube Clothes

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Showering In Tube Clothes - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #clothes, #clothing, #efficiency, #engineers, #laundry, #nerd, #tube clothes, #shower, #shower drain

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I discovered that I can wear my tube clothing in the shower! It's like doing laundry and taking a shower at the same time! I can add one more efficiency, but I'd need to replumb the shower drain. Tina: Please stop talking!!!

Dolphin Lives In Sea Water

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dolphin Lives In Sea Water - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #animal behavior, #animals in captivity, #dolphin, #exotic pets, #fish & aquatic mammals, #russia, #russian military, #birthday clowns, #drwoned, #seawater, #angry

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: I bought a dolphin for my daughter's birthday party. But it turned out to be a retired Russian military dolphin. It dragged one of the birthday clowns into the pool and drowned him. Dilbert: I though dolphins need to live in seawater. CEO: Maybe that's why it's so angry.

Too Much Exposition

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Too Much Exposition - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dolphin, #exposition, #hit man, #murder for hire, #stories, #storytelling, #ceo, #russian dolphin, #militray, #smartphone, #stolen, #mansion

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Our CEO Bought a Russian military dolphin for his daughter's pool party and it killed a party clown. Then it stole a smartphone and hired Dogbert to put a hit on the CEO so the dolphin... Garbage Man: That's way too much exposition. Dilbert: ...fill the CEO's mansion with water and live in it forever.

Dilbert And Alice Add Features

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dilbert And Alice Add Features - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #inventions, #simplicity, #engineers, #complication, #complicated, #coffee, #mug, #overthinking

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: Our boss asked me to totally ruin my double-handled coffee mug invention by adding features. I am asking each of you to suppress your engineering impulses just this one time and let this perfect product stay perfect. Dilbert: It would be perfect if it had wi-fi and a projection keyboard. Alice: Maybe add some health sensors and GPS.

Dilbert Fixes Boss's Technology Strategy

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dilbert Fixes Boss's Technology Strategy - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #verbiage, #technical, #jargon, #deception, #logic, #team player, #babble

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: fixed your technology strategy. I couldn't make it sound logical, so I buried the stupid parts under seven layers of technical babble. Add an irrelevant graph and no one will be the wiser... literally. Boss: Please stop being a team player.