Arms Up Comic Strips - Page 19

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

195 Results for Arms Up

View 181 - 190 results for arms up comic strips. Discover the best "Arms Up" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #presentation, #marketing video, #comments, #finished, #annoyed, #technology, #false, #wrong, #angry, #arms out, #Funny, #glare

View Transcript

Transcript

Woman says, "And that's our new marketing video. We hope it will go viral." The Boss says, "You'll have our comments by tomorrow." Woman says, "I'm not asking for comments. The video is already finished." Dilbert says, "The technology claims in the video are criminally inaccurate." Woman says, "I sent the script to engineering for comments three months ago!" Woman says, "I got an email back from someone named Wally who said it was great." Wally says, "I thought she was asking if it was funny."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #company lawyer, #recall, #poisonous spines, #shake hands, #quality assurance, #arms out

View Transcript

Transcript

Company Lawyer Lawyer says, "We should consider doing a recall on our product." Lawyer says, "When it warms up, it explodes and hurls poisonous spines in every direction." The Boss says, "Where's the director of quality assurance?" Lawyer says, "Pinned to the test lab ceiling."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #work, #desk, #problems, #distractions, #arms out, #mouth open, #yell, #fantasy

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "Are you running into any problems?" Alice says, "Only the kind that you make worse." The Boss says, "Name one problem that I make worse!" Alice says, "I have too many distractions." The Boss says, "Do you have any problems that aren't like that one?" Alice says, "Only in my fantasies."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meeting, #slide show, #test, #waste of time, #arms out, #angry, #cranky, #data, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "I'd like to thank all of the people who helped design the technology test parameters." Dilbert says, "Thanks to your input, the test had nothing in common with how things work in the real world." Dilbert says, "So I wasted two weeks of my life on a test that is not only meaningless..." Dilbert says, "...But alos dangerously misleading." Dilbert says, "This slide shows the gap between the test results and reality." The Boss says, "We'll use the test results anyway because it's the only data we have." Dilbert says, "Fine. I hope you all choke to death on your lunches." The Boss says, "Why's he so cranky?" Wally says, "Something about data."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #prices, #confusing, #explain, #arms out, #piece of paper, #compete, #angry, #spank, #logical

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "Is it my imagination or is your pricing intentionally confusing?" Coworker says, "It's intentionally confusing." Coworker says, "That way you can't compare our prices to our competitors' prices." Coworker says, "Our competitors do the same thing. It's called confusopoly." Coworker says, "We all get our fair share of confused customers and we don't need to lower our prices to compete." Coworker says, "We use the profits from our anti-competitive behavior to fun innovation." Coworker says, "So don't ruin a good system by trying to understand what you're buying." Dilbert says, "That almost sounds reasonable." Coworker says, "Now spank yourself and thank me!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #blaming, #quarreling, #work independantly, #close eyes, #fall back, #better than other people

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: Today you'll learn how to work independently. In this exercise, I want you to put your arms at you side, close your eyes, and fall backward. Noise: Thud thud thud. Dogbert: And it's still better than working with other people.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #computers & peripherals, #gadgets, #hardware, #robotic arms, #hold coffee cups, #industry changing products

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: One percent of engineers create all of the industry - changing products. I propose replacing the other 99% with robotic arms that hold coffee cups. You won't see any of the laggards in the 99% come up with great ideas like this one.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #blow on his neck, #chat, #flailing, #headphones, #noodle sized arms, #discourage

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: My headphones will cleverly discourage people from trying to chat with me. Asok: He has headphones. What do we do? Alice: Blow on his neck. Be careful. He might start flailing his noodle-sized arms in your direction.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #complaining, #fear, #opinion of plan, #rip off arms, #track down family, #kill family, #india, #Advice, #giving advice

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: I'm afraid to give Alice my opinion of her plan. Dilbert: What's the worst thing that could happen? Asok: She could rip off both of my arms and beat me to death with them. Then she could track down my family in India and kill them one by one. Is this your first time giving advice? Dilbert: I just figured out why no one ever asks for it.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #build hyperloop, #connect every city, #fast transportaion, #vision, #pat back

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: Build a hyperloop to connect every major city in the world with super-fast transportation. The vision was the hard part. You idiots can work on the details. Someone pat me on the back. I can't reach it with my T-rex arms.