Away From Scoiety Comic Strips - Page 19

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471 Results for Away From Scoiety

View 181 - 190 results for away from scoiety comic strips. Discover the best "Away From Scoiety" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 24, 1996's comic on:


Tags #analysis, #worked all night, #vital, #meeting, #excellent work, #alice, #backup material, #performance review cycle, #naked body threat to boss, #cheap suit, #fling, #business, #science

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Alice says to the Boss, "Here's the analysis you asked for . . . I worked all night." Alice continues, "But you said this was vital for your meeting today so I know it was worth the effort." The Boss sits at his desk reading the report. He says, "This is excellent work, Alice." Alice closes her eyes and thinks, "A rare compliment; it was all worthwhile." As Alice walks away the Boss says, "I'll use it as backup material." Alice says angrily, "Backup?!! Nobody looks at backup material!" Alice says, "I'm going to grab your pointy hair, yank you out of that cheap suit and fling your naked body down the hall." The Boss lies in the hall with no clothes on. Wally says, "She's always irritable the week before her performance review cycle." Dilbert says, "Her distance improved this year."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 17, 1996's comic on:


Tags #do math, #idiot, #monday and fridays, #shocking, #sick days, #idiot savant

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The secretary reads a document and says to the Boss, "Oh my! This is shocking!" The Boss asks, "What?" The secretary says, "40% of all sick days taken by your staff are Fridays and Mondays!" The Boss walks away saying, "What kind of idiot do they think I am?" The secretary says, "Not an idiot savant. They can do math."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 27, 1996's comic on:


Tags #work avoidance device, #leave meeting, #scurry away, #pager number, #grasping concept

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Alice stands at a vending machine. Wally points to a beeper on his hip and says to Alice, "I got myself a little work-avoidance device." Wally continues, "If I want to leave a meeting early, I just look down and say 'uh-oh' and scurry away." Alice asks, "What's the pager number in case I need you?" Wally says, "You're not quite grasping the concept here, Alice."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 15, 1996's comic on:


Tags #inert, #leadership, #morale boosting, #next phase, #pending merger, #praised with fear, #rigor mortis, #unmotivated

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Dilbert stands with his arms extended and says to the Boss, "I'm paralyzed with fear because of the pending merger." Dilbert continues, "Thanks to your leadership I've gone from being unmotivated to being inert." Dilbert says, "I think I'm advancing to the next phase. Hello, rigor mortis!! Take me, I'm ready!!" The Boss walks away thinking, "It might be time for a morale-boosting potluck lunch."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 18, 1996's comic on:


Tags #talk of diversity, #smart creatures endure, #surrounded by dolts, #hold secret meetings, #constant struggle

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Dogbert stands on Dilbert's desk and says, "With all this talk of 'diversity' there's no mention of the pain we smart creatures endure while surrounded by dolts." Dilbert says, "Good point. I don't know how we do it." Dogbert walks away saying, "It looks like I'll have to hold secret meetings." Dilbert says, "Yeah, our lives are a constant struggle."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 28, 1996's comic on:


Tags #manager, #chose path, #phil, #ruler of heck, #punisher, #minor sins, #procter and gamble, #home exercise spoons

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Phil and the Boss sit at a table eating lunch. Phil says, "Mom wanted me to be a manager like you. But I chose my own path." Phil continues, "I became Phil, the Ruler of Heck, the Punisher of Minor Sins!" The Boss asks, "How do you make money?" Phil answers, "Corporate sponsorship. 'Procter and Gamble' pays me to stay away from them." The Boss says, "You should sell a line of home-exercise spoons."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 20, 1996's comic on:


Tags #quality college, #clown college, #prerequisite, #secretaries day, #angry clown

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The Boss says to his secretary, "Carol, I asked you to enroll me in the Quality College, but the confirmation says Clown College." Carol says, "It's a prerequisite course." Carol thinks, "This is gonna cost me on Secretaries Day." The Boss walks away saying, "I hope it's okay to be an angry clown."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 21, 1996's comic on:


Tags #buns of steel, #hardness, #large magnets, #not weight, #video, #ad campaign, #work, #gym, #butt work

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Dilbert and Liz walk outdoors. Dilbert says, "I was going to get the 'Buns of Steel' video but I'm making excellent progress without it." Liz says, "When they say steel, it refers to hardness, not weight." Dilbert says, "I KNEW it seemed too easy." Liz says, "Stay away from large magnets."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 06, 1996's comic on:


Tags #bugs program, #diskette, #fixed bugs, #code, #write program, #updating resume, #need it soon

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The garbage man says to Dilbert, "I couldn't help noticing the bugs in the program on this old diskette you threw away." The garbage man continues, "I fixed the bugs and tightened the code from twelve thousand lines to sixteen." Dilbert says, "It took me three months to write that program." The garbage man says, "I took the liberty of updating your resume. I'm guessing you'll need it soon."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 10, 1996's comic on:


Tags #engineer up, #management support, #meeting, #boss ego, #master at work, #promised customer, #full management support, #sales meeting, #business

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Dilbert says to the Boss, "I need your full management support in this meeting with sales." The Boss replies, "Just watch the master at work." A man says to the Boss, "I promised a customer a product that we don't make. You need to engineer-up a thousand units by early next week." The Boss asks, "Is Thursday okay?" As they walk away, the Boss says to Dilbert, "Wait until he finds out that Thursday isn't 'early next week.' Hee hee!"