Business Ethics Comic Strips - Page 19

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Business Ethics

View 181 - 190 results for business ethics comic strips. Discover the best "Business Ethics" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Catbert, evil director, human resources, deadlines, embarrassing, fuzzy, laughed, embarrasing, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert peers over the cubicle wall at Alice and says, "Alice you have to use your vacation time or you'll lose it." Alice grimaces as Catbert says, "But if you take time off, you'll miss your deadlines." Catbert laughs wickedly. Catbert walks away, his normally smooth fur is puffed out. Catbert thinks, "This is embarrassing. I laughed myself fuzzy."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags dilbert mother, promoted, executive engineer, same pay, responsibility, throw party, no gifts, no music, no food, no guests, business cards

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert is on the phone while Dogbert watches. Dilbert says, "Mom, guess what.. I got promoted!" Dilbert says, "You're talking to the new Executive Engineer." Dilbert says, "No.. nobody reports to me. No... it's the same pay as before." Dilbert says, "But I do get a lot more responsibility!" Dogbert's ears fly up. Dilbert puts his hand over the telephone receiver and says to Dogbert, "She's going to throw a party for me!" Dilbert's Mom sits on the couch and says, "No.. no gifts. No... no music. No... no food. No.. no guests." Dilbert says, "I guess it's just you and me." Dilberts mom says, "I'm busy that day." Dilbert and Dogbert sit at a table wearing party hats. Dilbert says, "I'm not allowed to get new business cards, but I can write my new title on the old ones!" Dogbert falls asleep.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Men, communicate, only talks, Sports, computers, job, tv, sex, jokes, greek mythology, date, likes, dislikes, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert is on a date. His date says, "I like men who know how to communicate..." The date says, "But not a man you only talks about sports, or computers, or his job, or tv, or sex, or jokes, or his accomplishments..." Dilbert says, "That would leave... Greek mythology... and you." The date says, "No Greek stuff."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Catbert, evil director, human resources, randomly selected, drug test, unlucky at work, hair samples, one whole eyebrow, lost box, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert sits at his computer terminal. The monitor dispalys a picture of Wally, labeled Victims. Catbert thinks, "You're next." Catbert stands in Wally's cubicle and says, "Wally, you've been randomly selected for an employee drug test." Wally says, "Randomly? Why am I the only one who gets picked every week?!" Catbert says, "You're very unlucky at work. But I'm sure you compensate by being lucky at love." Catbert laughs a maniacal laugh. Catbert says, "Anyway... our new drug test uses hair samples." Catbert holds a little box and says, "To be safe, give me six hairs... and one whole eyebrow." Catbert walks off with his box, purring. He thinks, "I'll come back in an hour and says I lost the box."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags baseball, forgeries, low investment, moses, sports memorabilia, worth something, autographs, Sports

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits in an easy chair using his laptop computer. Dogbert stands on a side table and wags his tail. He says, "I'm going into the sports memorabilia business." Dogbert tosses a baseball in his hand and says, "I've heard that most autographs are forgeries, so my initial investment will be low." Dogbert says, "Can I interest you in a baseball signed by Moses?" Dilbert says, "Wow! That's going to be worth something."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags starting business, masseur, cubicle dwellers, touch my back, chair massage

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert sits on a ledge or table. Bob the dinosaur says, "I'm starting my own business as a masseur." He has a towel draped over his arm. Bob says, "My specialty will be in-office chair massages for cubicle dwellers." Wally sits at his desk in front of his computer and says, "Were you planning to touch my back at any point?" Bob massages Wally office chair and says, "It's a CHAIR massage, pervert."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags sales force, retirement buyout, fifty dollars, meeting, boss, business

View Transcript

Transcript

At the staff meeting, The Boss says, "The sales force was offered a retirement buyout package of fifty dollars." He continues, "One hundred percent of the sales force elected to take the offer." The Boss says, "I wonder what they know that we don't know." Wally turns to Dilbert and says, "There's a hole with no bottom."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags meeting, introductions, alice, breakdown, bad company, bad boss, freak out at meeting, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Lets start by introducing ourselves. Susan: Im susan black from I.T.G. I work for Emily Wooten. Max: Im Max Blumf. I work for Susan. Alice: Im Alice. I work for....uh...I... AAAGH!! IM filled with shame by association!!! WHY ME? WHY WHY WHY Please take me to your group! Im not tainted!!! The Boss: Can we start over? I forgot who the first three people are....

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags company, knows about wally, phone call logs, web hits, emails, urine test, college grades, salary, Family, business, money

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert sits on Wally's desk holding some papers and says, "The company knows everything about you, Wally." Catbert looks in Wally's file and says, "We have logs of all you phone calls, web hits, and e-mail. We have your urine test, college grades, salary and family contacts..." Catbert says, "It's against our policy to kill employees and replace them with low paid impersonators, but I wanted you to know it's feasible."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Catbert, evil hr diretor, company's goal, double efficiency, downsize, marketing, good at math, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert says, "The company's goal is to double the efficiency of all employees." Dilbert raises his hand and says, "Question: If we double our efficiency, won't you downsize half of us?" Alice and Wally sit on either side of him. Catbert says, "Don't talk to anyone in marketing. They aren't so good at math."