Close Eyes Comic Strips - Page 19

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

227 Results for Close Eyes

View 181 - 190 results for close eyes comic strips. Discover the best "Close Eyes" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags powerpoint coma, trance, eyes wide, funny poses, finger up nose, police, brain, dead, legal

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert thinks, "Uh-oh. My audience has fallen into a Powerpoint coma." Dilbert thinks, "The only thing I can do now is put them in funny poses and leave." Police Officer says, "It looks like his finger hit brain."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags wide eyes, merger, hope, status, upgrade, nonexistent, unimportant, job, business

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "The people buying our company don't know that your project exists." The Boss says, "And you're not allowed to talk to anyone over there. But don't lose hope." The Boss says, "I'm working hard to upgrade your status from nonexistent to unimportant."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags new job, internal, human resources, celebrate, dance, eyes closed, mouth open, double, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert says, "Good news, Alice. You got the internal job you posted for." Alice says, "YES!!!" Catbert says, "You'll need to keep doing your old job too." Alice says, "Did you just make me celebrate a doubling of my workload?" Catbert says, "Thank you for acknowledging my awesomeness."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags yell, pain, hurt, mouth open, eyes closed, surprise, elves, uppity, software, magic, engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice says, "GAAA!!! II HURTS SO BAD!" Alice says, "That artificial display of pain was a reminder that software is not created by magic." The Boss says, "The Elves are getting uppity."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boss, employee, meeting, change, freak out, panic, mouth open, yell, eyes closed, death, business, medical

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "Don't be afraid of change, Asok." Asok says, "Okay. Wait. What?" Asok says, "You subtle implication is that I should change to be more like you!" The Boss says, "Bumpy start." Asok says, "I choose death!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags salesman, suit, paper bag, over head, secret

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "Our best sales guy asked for you to accompany him on a sales call." Dilbert says, "What's the secret of being a good sales person?" Coworker says, "You need to give customers the information they need?" Coworker says, "?Without getting in their faces so often that you become a nuisance." Coworker says, "For example, a customer would get sick of your face much sooner than mine." Coworker says, "So halfway through the sales call, you'll need to put this bag over your head while I close the deal." Man says, "It looks as if I win our bet." Coworker says, "No... wait for it..." Man says, "Whoa. How do you do that?" Coworker says, "It's called sales. Now you owe me a purchase order."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags meeting, buzzword, idiot, intern, grab tie, cross eyes, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "Tradition requires that every meeting has one buzzword-babbling idiot." Dilbert says, "We have no natural today, so Asok has graciously agreed to fill the role." Alice says, "Good job. You're totally selling it." Asok says, "We need a multi-platform application strategy!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags feel empowered, forgot buy in, poorly conceived project, destroy from inside, not empowered, old system

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "I want all of you to feel empowered on this project." Dilbert says, "You forgot to get our buy- in before you empowered us." The Boss says, "I'll get your buy-in later." Wally says, "It's far too late for that." Wally says, "I'm going to use my empowerment to destroy this poorly conceived project from the inside!" The Boss says, "Don't do that!" Dilbert says, "So... now you're saying we're not empowered to do what we think is best?" Alice says, "Can we go back to our old system where we're afraid to make decisions and you're never available?" Alice says, "Your eyes say, 'Yes.'"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags blaming, quarreling, work independantly, close eyes, fall back, better than other people

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: Today you'll learn how to work independently. In this exercise, I want you to put your arms at you side, close your eyes, and fall backward. Noise: Thud thud thud. Dogbert: And it's still better than working with other people.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags frustration, quarreling, bullying behavior, confirmation bias, delusional witch

View Transcript

Transcript

Woman: Let's begin the meeting, but be aware that I'm documenting all of your bullying behavior. Dilbert: Um... I'm not even close to being a bully, but now your confirmation bias will make everything I say sound like bullying to you. Woman: Can you repeat the part after you implied that I'm a delusional witch?