Customer Service Smile Comic Strips - Page 19

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326 Results for Customer Service Smile

View 181 - 190 results for customer service smile comic strips. Discover the best "Customer Service Smile" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 18, 2005's comic on:


Tags #cable company, #abusive service windows, #regis and kelly

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Dogbert: "I'm going to work for the cable company." Dilbert: "Why?" Dogbert: "I enjoy giving people abusive service windows." Dilbert: "Oh" Dogbert: "Well, if you can't be home from March to October, then say goodbye to Regis and Kelly!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 24, 2005's comic on:


Tags #bonus, #selling stuff, #customer, #can't pay, #sociopath

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Dilbert: "Today I got a bonus for selling stuff to a customer who probably can't pay." Dogbert: "Does your soda taste any less delicious?" Dilbert: "No." Dogbert: "Congratulations, you're a sociopath." Dilbert: "It feels kinda good."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 07, 2005's comic on:


Tags #tech support, #online customer survey, #how happy

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Dogbert's Tech Support: Please fill out the online customer satisfaction survey." "Um... But you haven't even tried to help me yet." "I like to base my help on how happy you expect to be."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 18, 2005's comic on:


Tags #vendor, #can't deliver parts, #promised parts, #better job, #never buy

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Dilbert: Our vendors rep says they can't deliver the parts for three months. The Boss: that just means he promised the parts to some other customer who did a better job of threatening him. Dilbert: How about if I say we'll never buy from you gain? vendor: Id say you're not exactly buying form us now.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 18, 2005's comic on:


Tags #core values, #integrity, #value, #honesty, #excellence, #inherent conflicts, #fund na dpassionate, #all of them, #hygiene

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The Boss: "Our core values are service, intergrity, respect, teamwork, responsibility, trust, diversity, value, honesty, fun, passion, fairness and excellence." wally: "How should we deal with the inherent conflicts? I mean, what if I want to be irresponsible in a fun and passionate way?" The Boss: "You have to do all of them." "I notice that hygiene didn't make the list.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 12, 2005's comic on:


Tags #phishing, #new hobby, #fake banking emails, #gullible executives, #financial information, #steal, #password social security card

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"I have a new hobby. It's called phishing." "I send fake banking e-mails to gullible executives. Then I find out their financial information and use it to steal the money they don't deserve." Dear Customer, This is your bank. We forgot your social security number and password. Why don't you send them to us so we can protect your money. Sincerely, I. B. Banker "Looks legit."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 17, 2005's comic on:


Tags #topper vs. a customer, #dogsled race, #world toughest terrain, #better than, #top you, #cancel deal, #burn to ground, #go one better, #more better

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Topper vs. a Customer "I competed in the Iditarod, an 1,150-mile dogsled race lasting 15 days, over the world's toughest terrain." "That's nothing. I completed the race while pretending to be one of your dogs." "Now I don't want to buy from your company." "That's nothing. Now I plan to burn my company to the ground!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 07, 2005's comic on:


Tags #dance club, #allow anyone, #screen potential customers, #dance moves, #incorporated air guitar

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I opened a dance club that's so exclusive I don't allow anyone in. "I personally screen every potential customer until I find a reason to exclude." "Have your dance moves ever incorporated the air guitar?" "Yes."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 20, 2005's comic on:


Tags #scarf retrun, #salesman, #computer, #1000 returns, #compulsive, #company policy, #harvest organs, #sell ebay, #dilmom, #technology

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"I'd like to return this scarf." "What's wrong with it?" "It isn't um...scarfy enough." "I'll just run your card through the computer and..." "Uh-oh...You're on our Bad Customer list. You've returned over a thousand items to this store." "In fact, you've purchased and returned this same scarf seventeen times." "Company policy says that I have to harvest your organs and sell them on eBay." "It was good while it lasted."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 31, 2005's comic on:


Tags #web service satndards, #consortium, #approval review, #executive board, #review borad

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"We should join the industry consortium that's promoting web services standards." "Run that past the consortium approval review board and get a sign-off from the executive board of review board reviewers." "Do those exist?" "In a perfect world, yes."