Customer Type Comic Strips - Page 19

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269 Results for Customer Type

View 181 - 190 results for customer type comic strips. Discover the best "Customer Type" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 05, 2009's comic on:


Tags #sales, #economy, #ridiculous, #business

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Dilbert in sales Salesman says, "We had to be more creative because of the soft economy." Salesman says, "now we kill our customers and replace them with body doubles who place big orders." Customer says, "Who's the handsome new sales guy?" Salesman says, "He's you in about ten minutes."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 06, 2009's comic on:


Tags #evil, #murder, #refusal, #reprimand

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Catbert: Evil director of human resources Catbert says, "your boss says you refuse to do your job." Dilbert says, "he told me to kill a customer, assume her identity, and place a huge order with the company." Catbert says, "I'll transfer your to the collections department until you're willing to kill."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 09, 2009's comic on:


Tags #collections, #job, #customer service, #nervous, #busy, #confused, #business

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Dilbert works in collections Customer says, "My wife hates me and I live between and archery range and a nest of rabid badgers." Dilbert says, "Is that a reason for not paying your bills?" Customer says, "I'm just saying you called at as bad time."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 10, 2009's comic on:


Tags #job, #excuses, #argument, #depressed, #conversation, #business

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Dilbert works in collections Customer says, "My wife left me, my truck caught on fire, and all of my organs are failing." Dilbert says, "I work in a collections department." Customer says, "You win." Dilbert says, "Winning isn't what it used to be." a voice yells, "Your five minute break is over!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 11, 2009's comic on:


Tags #dating, #flirting, #dinner, #afraid, #confused, #yelling, #relationships

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Woman says, "You're not my type. Why am I attracted to you? How did you do this, you monster!" Dilbert says, "In troubling economic times, my financial stability appeals to your survival instincts. It's basic evolution." Woman says, "Gaaa!!! That made me bored and aroused at the same time!" Dilbert says, "Science!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 29, 2009's comic on:


Tags #presentation, #plan, #lying, #marketing, #screaming, #guilt, #business

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The boss says, "In phase one, we'll tell our customer that the system failure won't happen again." Not us! The boss says, "In phase two, when it happens again, we'll act surprised." The boss says, "Then we'll say a software patch is being installed." Asok the intern says, "Gaaa!!! We're bad people!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 21, 2009's comic on:


Tags #vacation, #delegating, #excuses, #volunteering, #cruel, #mean

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The boss says, "Alice, you'll be acting manager next week while I'm on vacation." Alice says, "I can't. I'll be in a training class all week." The boss says, "Dilbert, you'll?" Dilbert says, "I'll be at a customer site all week." The boss says, "Carol..." Carol says, "I'll be getting my tubes tied." The Boss says, "Asok..." Asok says, "I'm going to my grandmother's funeral in India." Wally says, "Yes? Is there something you need me to do?" The Boss says, "Attend a funeral in India. Tell everyone you're Asok and you had a horrible accident." The boss says, "Tell them the acid destroyed your hair and your personality." Wally says, "That took an ugly turn."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 25, 2009's comic on:


Tags #assignment, #stupidity, #yelling, #Advice, #reading

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The boss says, "Tina, answer this customer complaint. And remembert, the customer is always an idiot." Tina says, "I think you mean the customer is always?um?oh my?" The boss says, "Quick! Pop your ears so your head doesn't explode!" Gurk!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 27, 2009's comic on:


Tags #reading, #response, #customer service, #ridiculous, #ridicule, #stupidity

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Tina says, "Can you review my letter to this customer who complained?" Dilbert says, "'Tell the spiders living in your skull that we'll look into it.'" Tina says, "Good writing should never be predictable." Dilbert says, "Then it's perfect."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 04, 2009's comic on:


Tags #suggestion, #sitting, #typing, #annoyed, #sarcasm

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The boss says, "Our VP of Sales asks that you answer customer questions through the sales reps, not directly." Dilbert says, "Is the goal to reduce the timeliness of my answers or just to filter out the accuracy?" The boss says, "Why are you like this?" DIlbert says, "Should I tell you or the sales reps?"