Financial Problems Comic Strips - Page 19
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255 Results for Financial Problems
View 181 - 190 results for financial problems comic strips. Discover the best "Financial Problems" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday July 09,
2014
Tags frustration, work ethic, bad mood, personal problem, work, time, no time
Transcript
Boss: I wonder why everyone is in a bad mood lately. Catbert: Maybe they have personal problems. Boss: How could they have time for personal problems when I work them 70 hours a week? Catbert: Then I don't know what it is.
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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Sunday August 24,
2014
Tags programming skills, next hire, python, java, php, solve, ignorance problems, gap in knowledge, string theory, graviton
Transcript
Boss; What programming skills should I be looking for in our next home? Dilbert: Jquery, ruby,HTML5, Python , Java , PHO and of course, C++ BOSS: Maybe you could wrote this down. Dilbert: Sure. That should totally solve your ignorance problem. Are there any other gaps in your knowledge that I can fix by writing things down? Dilbert: How about string theory? I can explain that in a few words. Graviton....supersymmetry....perturbation...M-theory. Boss: I know string theory now.
Thursday September 18,
2014
Tags emotional manipulation, executives, financial gain, leader, leaders, less unlikable, lonely job, manipulation, obliviousness, popularity
Transcript
CEO: Being a leader is a lonely job. Dilbert: Try being less of a #!@*. Then people might want to spend time with you. CEO: I don't see how that could work. Dilbert: Can we get back to manipulating my emotions for financial gain?
Tuesday October 21,
2014
Tags managers, managers & supervisors, morale, robots, problems, lying, spectacular job, award randomly, in charge, robot boss, temporary, employees, oversight, business
Transcript
Boss: Did you have any problems filling in for me while I was on vacation? Robot: It was hard at first. I couldn't tell who was lying about doing a spectacular job. Boss: That's why I reward them randomly. Robot: I tried that and it did seem to settle them down.
Wednesday October 29,
2014
Tags morning, morning people, sleepiness, sleepy, waking up, prodcutive, early, brushed teeth, face cream, confused
Transcript
Alice: I'm trying to turn myself into a morning person so I can be more productive. I've been getting up at 4:30 every day, and so far, so good. Dilbert: So... no problems at all? Alice: Nothing huge. I've brushed my teeth with face cream a few times.
Saturday November 22,
2014
Boss Transfers Problem To Someone Else
Tags Advice, bad advice, problem, problems, snag, prodcuts, accept failure, lie, transfer problem, father, old sayings, Family
Transcript
Dilbert:I'm hitting a snag with this RFP because our products don't do what they need. Should I give up and accept failure or lie about our features and transfer the problem to them? Boss: My daddy used to say it isn't a problem if you can give it to someone else. Dilbert: Then he drove you to school?
Wednesday November 26,
2014
I Need Solutions Not Unexpected Problems
Tags authority, convincing, managers, managers & supervisors, launch deadline, solutions, unexpected problems, business
Transcript
Boss: Are you going to meet the launch deadline? Dilbert: No. There were unexpected problems. Boss: I need solutions, not unexpected problems! Did that mean anything? Dilbert: Almost. Good try.
Monday December 15,
2014
Financial Advisor Keeps Him Waiting
Tags finances, financial advisor, investing, knowledge, money, personal finance
Transcript
Financial Advisor. Dilbert: You kept me waiting in the lobby for five minutes. So I used that time to learn everything that matters in the field of personal investing. Did you know that you don't know much? Financial Advisor: I did not know that.
Tuesday December 16,
2014
Financial Advisor Is Surprised At How Easy It Is
Tags financial advisor, investing, money, stock market, swindling, convertible notes, preferred stock, call options, career ambition, ginat mosquito
Transcript
Financial Advisor. Advisor: Convertible notes... preferred stock... municipal bonds... covered call options. These are things you can never hope to understand. So trust me and try to forget that my only career ambition is to drain your account like a giant mosquito. Boss: That sounds reasonable. Advisor: I'm always surprised at how easy this is.
Sunday December 21,
2014
Tags anger, criticism, perfection, psychological disorder, psychological evaluation, perfectionist, warning, not a problem, cognitive dissonance, unrealistic optimism, projection bias, jerk, anger issues
Transcript
Coworker: I should warn you that I'm a perfectionist. Dilbert: I appreciate the warning. Do you have any other psychological problems or just the one? Coworker: I don't think of it as a "problem." Dilbert: I guess that's what makes it so bad. I see a lot of other psychological problems in your writing. Cognitive dissonance, unrealistic optimism, and some projection bias. But I can see why you think your perfectionism is the worst part. Coworker: You're a jerk. Dilbert: ...and here come the anger issues.