Low Priority Tasks Comic Strips - Page 19

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

246 Results for Low Priority Tasks

View 181 - 190 results for low priority tasks comic strips. Discover the best "Low Priority Tasks" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 15, 2012's comic on:


Tags #complaining, #low priority tasks, #transform into emergency, #escalated, #all worked up, #complain about attitude

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: Stop whatever you're doing and go research the answer to this question. Brad: I don't have time to work on low-priority tasks. Alice: Give me ten minutes to transform it into an emergency. Brad is being unhelpful. I need you to talk to his boss. Boss: Sure. Brad refuses to help Alice. Brad's Boss: Help her do what? Boss: I don't know, but obviously it's very important because it got escalated. Brad's Boss: It must be an emergency because everyone is all worked up about it. Alice: Now hum a happy tune or I'll complain about your attitude.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 24, 2012's comic on:


Tags #average person, #offer low prices, #prices, #products on sale, #raising prices, #smart enough

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: We're going to stop pretending our products are always on sale and instead offer low prices all the time. The average person is smart enough to know that our so-called sales prices are our normal prices anyway. Dilbert: Have you ever talked to an average person? Boss: Tell me again why we're raising all of our prices?

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 30, 2012's comic on:


Tags #managers & supervisors, #work ethic, #low priority tasks, #rational being, #reward, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: You keep spending time on low-priority tasks. Dilbert: That's because I'm a rational being. I only work on tasks that are likely to give me some sort of reward. Boss: I don't know how to deal with that. Dilbert: Have you tried managing?

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 25, 2012's comic on:


Tags #boredom, #secretaries (office), #mindless and repetetive, #task, #spur creativity, #creative person, #dispose of body, #snide, #snarky

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Experts say that doing mindless and repetitive tasks is a good way to spur creativity. That means you must be the most creative person in the office. Did you come up with any ideas? Carol: Yup. So far, I've come up with over seven hundred ways to dispose of your body.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 10, 2012's comic on:


Tags #work ethic, #90 day performance plan, #low ambitions

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Ted, I'm putting you on a ninety-day performance improvement play. Ted: Yes!!! I've always dreamed of making it onto the performance improvement plan! Boss: It's not as good as it sounds. Ted: With all due respect, you don't know how low my ambitions are.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 17, 2012's comic on:


Tags #executives, #honesty, #low margins, #make money, #extended warrantees, #idiots, #forgetful, #take advantage

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO Investor Call CEO: Our margins are so low that we gave up trying to make money that way. Now we make all of our money selling extended warranties to idiots who will forget they bought them. Woot-woot! Guess what the margin on that is! Ha ha! Dilbert: It's okay. We don't let him connect to the outside.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 15, 2012's comic on:


Tags #meetings, #finish tasks, #communication skills, #poor skills, #task, #breakdown, #work, #delgatation

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Did you finish the tasks we talked about in the last meeting? Dilbert: No, because your communication skills are so poor that I had no idea I was supposed to do a task. Wally: Did I have a task?

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 13, 2013's comic on:


Tags #air travel, #extra legroom, #aisle seat, #no baby section, #extra bag, #priority boarding, #in flight entertainment, #flight insurance, #wi-fi, #airplane etxras

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol: Do you want extra legroom on your flight? It costs more. Boss: Yes. Carol: Do you want an aisle seat? That costs extra. Boss: Yes. Carol: Do you want a no-baby section? It costs extra. Boss: Yes. Carol: Extra bag? Boss: Yes. Carol: Meal? Boss: Yes. Carol: Priority boarding? Boss: Yes. Carol: In-flight entertainment? Wi-fi? Flight insurance? We're almost done. Just twelve more questions. Your ticket comes to $27,689. And it's only three stops! Boss: No let's do the return flight. One hour later.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 22, 2013's comic on:


Tags #astroid intercept missle, #fate of earth, #scientific equipment, #united nations, #science

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Good news! We were the low bidder for The United Nation's asteroid intercept missile. The fate of Earth depends on your combined talents plus my management skills. Wally, you're in charge of fissile material, which I assume is a type of soda.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 26, 2013's comic on:


Tags #rich people, #thinking, #fool proof, #plan for success, #think about shoes, #easy tasks

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: I have a fool-proof plan for success. I will read a book on how rich people think. Then I will start thinking this way. Book: Rich people think about their shoes a log. Asok: I can do that!