Mouth Open Comic Strips - Page 19
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218 Results for Mouth Open
View 181 - 190 results for mouth open comic strips. Discover the best "Mouth Open" comics from Dilbert.com.
Friday September 30,
2011
Tags deception, hypocrisy, open door policy, suggestions, not importnat, extra work
Transcript
Boss: Thanks for the suggestion, Asok. I'm going to ignore it because you're not important to my career and I don't like doing extra work. Asok: I'm confused. Why do you have an open-door policy? Boss: How can you leave if the door isn't open?
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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Friday October 26,
2012
Tags inventions, robot, telepresence, commute, multitasking, new technology, rough patches, meat bags
Transcript
Asok: Here comes Wally's telepresence robot. Robot: How was your commute, suckers?!!! Ha ha ha ha! I'm multitasking in ways that might surprise you! Dilbert: New technology always has rough patches. Robot: Open that door for me, meat bags!
Friday November 02,
2012
Tags office buildings, cubicle workplace, open floor plan, research, pattern, randomize evil, science
Transcript
Boss: We're thinking of moving from a cubicle workplace to an open floor plan. Dilbert: Is that because you did some research that discovered that the open floor plan is the only thing worse than what we have now? Boss: They figured out the pattern. Catbert: I told you we should randomize our evil!
Sunday January 27,
2013
Tags discussion, frustration, deliverable deadline, proactive, opposite of proactive, empowered employees, bad morale, big bungler, open door policy
Transcript
Wally: I decided to be proactive and push back my deliverable deadline by a year. Boss: That' snot being proactive. That's the opposite of proactive! Wally: You said you want employees to be empowered and now you're criticizing my decision. That's just great. Now my morale is bad, too! I can't be proactive. I can't be empowered. And now I can't even be happy! You've bungled everything! You're a big bungler! Boss: Get out of my office. Wally: Well, say goodbye to the open-door policy!
Tuesday April 16,
2013
Tags executives, ignorance (knowledge), table tennis, ping pong table, central area, disrupt floor, questioning motivation
Transcript
CEO: Let's get a ping-pong table so we look like a great place to work. Put it in a central area that will disrupt the entire floor if anyone uses it. I just realized that I don't know why noise comes out of my mouth.
Saturday June 15,
2013
Tags apathy, death & dying, distress, rearrange bits, already dead
Transcript
Dilbert: All I did this week was rearrange bits on the Internet. I had no real impact on the physical world. I can't rule out the possibility that I'm already dead and I don't know it. Okay, still an open question.
Tuesday July 23,
2013
Tags internet & world wide web, money, bertcoins, digital currency, anonymous genous, mail, attachment, pirates
Transcript
Ratbert: I'm moning for bertcoins. It's a digital currency created by an anonymous genius. Hey, I'm getting an email from a Somali fellow who wants me to open an attachment. What happened to all of my bertcoins? Bob: Digital Somali pirates!
Saturday August 03,
2013
Tags obliviousness, office buildings, work ethic, prodcutivity, cubicles, one clown car
Transcript
Boss: Productivity went down when we moved the engineers from private offices to cubicles. Productivity went down again when we tried to open the office plan. CEO: Have we tried putting all of them in one clown car? Boss: No, but I don't see why that wouldn't work.
Sunday August 11,
2013
Tags frustration, lawyers, software, license, legal dept, services, email, open source, definsition, forge signature, software license, engineering
Transcript
Boss: Can you approve the purchase of this software? Boss: You need to run the software license past legal first. Lawyer: You need to fill out a legal services request form. I'll email it to you. Make sure you specify whether the software is open source or not. Dilbert: How would I know if it meets your definition of open source? Lawyer: It depends how the license is written. You'll need to ask legal to review it. Dilbert: Never mind. I'll just forge your signature on the form. Lawyer: Maybe this is why I've never seen a software license.
Tuesday November 12,
2013
Tags hypocrisy, mobile (cell) phones, phone rining, fired, judge, ironic, threat, legal
Transcript
Boss: Anyone whose phone rings during this meeting will be fired on the spot. RRRING! Stop judging me with your eyes. Dilbert: It's the only thing that keeps them open.


