New Secretary Comic Strips - Page 19

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for New Secretary

View 181 - 190 results for new secretary comic strips. Discover the best "New Secretary" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #new cucbicle, #self suffcient, #work space, #life suport, #various tubes, #watch to body, #vital signs, #monitor, #central location, #human resources dept, #emergency hiring

View Transcript

Transcript

"Here's your new cubicle: the Cuborg 2000." "It's a self-sufficient workspace and life support system." "These tubes attach to various parts of your body so you never have to leave." "Various parts?" "Let's just say you don't want to get these two tubes mixed up." "We'll monitor your vital signs from a central location." "The company nurse?" "No; the human resources department, in case we have to do some emergency hiring." "Is it upgradeable?" "Yeah, the Cuborg 3000 is expected to have air holes."

View more books now

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #behead, #corporate head hunter, #employee, #new employees, #staffing problem, #you'd be flexible, #go postal, #post office employee

View Transcript

Transcript

"We've never needed a corporate headhunter before, but now it's the only way to solve our staffing problem." "Are you aware that headhunters find new employees? We don't behead the ones you already have." "I don't suppose you'd be flexible..." "I could find a disgruntled ex-post office employee for you."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #lab supplies, #batteries, #electric motor, #wheels, #hand truck, #build go cart, #lab, #building liner accelrator

View Transcript

Transcript

"The new lab supplies are in!" "We got the batteries, and the electric motor!" "Take the wheels off the hand truck and we can start building our go-cart." "I think I'll drop in on the lab." "What are you working on now?" "We're building a linear accelerator." "Marketing insisted." "Good, good. Carry on." "We really don't appreciate him enough." "Let's put a TV in this baby."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #project cancelled, #answer, #task delegated, #craft response, #boss delegating job, #do nothing boss, #fraud

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: Do you remember when the company President visited? You asked why your project had been cancelled. He promised to get an answer, That task has been delegated all the way down to me. Id like you to craft a response for me, You'll have to put your new project on hold until this is done.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #new career, #technology pundit, #columnist, #angry opinions

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: I'm starting a new career as a technology pundit and columnist. This mostly involves forming angry opinions about things I haven't got the time to understand. Is the RISC processor appropriate for señor citizens? hello!! Is anybody home?!!

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dimly lit cucbicle, #carpal tunnel, #crippled, #last job, #coal miner, #gas explosion, #new cubcile, #canary

View Transcript

Transcript

"I guess it's time to go back to my dimly lit cubicle and see if my carpal tunnel has crippled me yet." "This is a lot like my last job as a coal miner, but without the threat of a gas explosion." "I'm moving you to a new cubicle over by Wally." "Better get a canary."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boos, #delegate work, #mark compalins, #throws a fit, #complain, #behind back, #boss retreats

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: We've hired the Dogbert Ad Agency to give our company a new image. Mark: AAAGH! MARK: Sure, Sure...I"ll do it, but I'll have this expression the whole time. and just maybe I"ll complain behind your back!! The Boss: Never mind, I'll do it myself. Oh, right, keep the good assignment,

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ad agency, #dogberts, #new slogan, #essence, #captures, #we abuse employees, #pass savings, #squalid cubicles, #wear that shirt

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert's Ad Agency Dogbert: Ive developed a new slogan that captures the essence of those company. "we abuse our employess and pass the savings to you" We'll film actual employees in their squalid cubicles. The boss: Wear that shirt

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #new employee, #new engineer, #sarcasm, #shows around, #telephone, #cubicle, #hallway, #every foot staep, #bad points, #office tour, #crazy, #bad conditions, #employement

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: "Laurie's our new engineer. Show her the ropes, Dilbert." "I meant figuratively." Dilbert: "This is your anti-productivity pod." "It's equipped with a little device that rings anytime you try to concentrate." "The top is open so none of the background noise is inadvertently muffled." "And you're on the main aisle, so you'll be haunted every minute by footsteps behind you. Step...step...step." The Boss: "We need to talk."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #difference, #entire day, #hamster on wheel, #new assignements, #finish work, #explaining

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I spent the entire day getting new assignments which left no time to actually work on anything. Dilbert: Tomorrow I'll spend the entire day explaining why I didn't finish yesterdays work. Sometimes I don't know the difference between me and hamster on a wheel. Dogbert: Hamsters dont depress me.