Previous Manager Killed Comic Strips - Page 19

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

240 Results for Previous Manager Killed

View 181 - 190 results for previous manager killed comic strips. Discover the best "Previous Manager Killed" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #prosperity, #intuition, #market research, #success rate, #binary choices, #tiny manager, #made of copper, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: From now on, I'm going to rely on my intuition instead of market research. Dilbert: If guessing can bring your success rate up to 50% for binary choices, I'm all for it. Hey, look! I found a tiny manager made of copper in my pocket!

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business ethics, #poor persons, #rich people, #invented ethics, #trash talk

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: Did you know that poor people invented ethics to control rich people? Nice try, poor people! It's not working! If they haven't killed me by now, a little trash talk won't make any difference.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #celebrities, #wealth, #money manager, #dumb celebrities, #pay close attention, #money invested, #protect money, #money

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: I've decided to become a money manager for dumb celebrities. Celebrities don't pay close attention to where their money is invested, or who is stealing it. Dilbert: So you plan to help them protect their money? Dogbert: That would be one way to play it.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #interviews, #10thousand hours, #practice, #expertise, #resume, #job interview, #incompetent menace, #interview practice, #manager resposibility

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Studies show that it takes 10,000 hours of focused practice to become an expert at anything. According to your resume, you've only had enough database experience to be an incompetent menace. Interviewee: How many hours have you practiced doing interviews? Boss: I don't like where this is headed.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #honesty, #managers & supervisors, #leader, #manager, #bad managers, #hinesty, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I see myself as more of a leader than a manager. Catbert: That's what all bad managers say. I'm just being honest. Boss: That's what all jerks say.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #chain of command, #district manager, #ceo, #braille toad, #questions

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I send your question up the chain of command. I talked to the district manager who talked to his AVP who talked to his VP who talked to his SVP who talked to the CEO. The answer is that we need to shine the braille toad. Dilbert: Do you see any problem with our system?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #executives, #managers & supervisors, #reorganizing, #overthinking, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: I'm reorganizing the company and giving every manager a new job. Boss: Why? CEO: You're over-thinking it.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #complaining, #computer programmers, #code mocking, #engineering tradition, #software project, #new engineer, #mock previous engineer, #engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Are you coming to the code mocking? Asok: The what? Dilbert: Code mocking is an engineering tradition. It happens whenever a software project is handed to a new engineer. The new engineer is required to mock the previous engineer's work in a public way. We spectators get to vote on whether the old code is killed or spared. Coworker: Ha ha! His code is hilariously inefficient! Ouch. Chest pain. Dilbert: Kill it! Kill it! Kill it! Coworker: Gaaa!! The code is offending my engineering sensibilities! It's killing me! Dilbert: I forgot to mention that sometimes the code wins.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #internet & world wide web, #revenge, #killed robot, #uploaded personality, #internet, #decommissioned it, #subroutines, #haunting, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: You killed our robot. Alice: He had it coming. Dilbert: Are you aware that it uploaded its personality to the internet before you violently decommissioned it? Alice: What? Dilbert: Did you know it had subroutines for haunting, revenge, and being a jerk. Alice: What? Robot: We meet again.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #engineer, #good manager, #leads by example, #managers & supervisors, #middle manager, #monster truck rallies, #suspicion, #teaching, #education, #business, #engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: A goo manager leads by example. How does it help an engineer to see an example of how to be a middle manager? Dilbert: That's like teaching physics by showing examples of monster truck rallies. Alice: Should we say dumb things, too, or have you not started leading by example yet? Wally: Now what is he doing/ Are we supposed to do that? Dilbert: I think he's leading by example now! Boss: I'm starting to wonder if everything I read on the Internet is wrong.