Read Comic Strips - Page 19
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214 Results for Read
View 181 - 190 results for read comic strips. Discover the best "Read" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday April 13,
2016
Don't Read Long Emails
Tags email, tldr, communication, assumption, honesty
Transcript
Man: You didn't answer my email. Dilbert: I don't read long email messages. Long emails are a sign of a disorganized mind. I try to avoid contact with that sort of person. Man: And yet, here I am. Dilbert: I didn't say it works every time.
Top Dilbert Searches
marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Thursday September 01,
2016
Tell Me What Was In The Email
Tuesday November 01,
2016
Alice Gives Approval
Tags deal, support, negotiations
Transcript
Dilbert: Our pointy-haired boss asked me to get everyone's buy-in on this. Alice: I'll agree to your stupid idea if you support my great idea later. Dilbert: Deal. Alice: Should I read it? Dilbert: I don't see why.
Thursday November 03,
2016
Wally Gives Approval
Tags laziness, signature, ignorance, reading, fine print
Transcript
Dilbert: I need everyone's buy-in on this. Wally: Do I have to read it? Dilbert: No. Wally: That's the sort of idea I can get behind.
Thursday December 22,
2016
Strategy Document
Tags strategy, obliviousness, insult
Transcript
Dilbert: I saw your email about destroying the company. Boss: Huh? The only email I sent you was my strategy for the coming year. Dilbert: Well, maybe I read it too fast.
Sunday April 02,
2017
Tags tldr, email, communication, patience, criticism
Transcript
Man: Did you read my email? Dilbert: No, it was too long. Man: Maybe you could read it when you have more time. Dilbert: I never have time to read email messages that are too long. Maybe you could rewrite it to be shorter. Man: I don't have time to rewrite it. Dilbert: And I don't have time to read it. Man: If no one reads that email, it will mean I wasted two hours writing it. Dilbert: Plus, you're wasting my time right now. Don't forget to include that in your failure assessment. Man: I had high hopes for that email. Dilbert: It's a sunk cost. Let it go.
Wednesday June 14,
2017
Imagine He Is Naked
Tags public speaking, presentation, Advice, nervous, naked, fear
Transcript
Asok: Do you have any tips for my presentation to the CEO? Boss: When you are presenting, imagine you are naked and everyone is laughing at you. Asok: Why? Boss: It's just something I read. I might have the details wrong.
Sunday May 06,
2018
Tags insurance, humiliation, death, scam, darwin awards, spin, headline, media, Entertainment, medical
Transcript
Dogbert: Would you like to buy an insurance policy to protect against a humorous death? Boss: Why would I need it? Dogbert: well, let's say you're at the zoo and you drop your sunglasses into the lion pit. You lower yourself into the pit to get the sunglasses, but the lions get to you first. You don't want the headlines to read "Pointy-haired Idiot Mauled To Death By The King Of The Jungle." So instead, the moment you die, my agents rush in to create a narrative for the media. In this case, we might spin the story as "Local Man Teaches Zoo How To Reduce Food Costs." Boss: Are the policies affordable? Dogbert: Yes, if you waive the coverage for mascot-related deaths.
Wednesday June 06,
2018
Decentralization Changes Everything
Tags bitcoin, ethereum project, decentralization, currency, money, economics, blockchain, obliviousness, jargon, lingo
Transcript
Boss: Decentralization will change everything. Dilbert: Such as? Boss: Well... for example, um... the bitcoin and the Ethereum. Alice: Did you recently read an article? Boss: Some of it.
Thursday July 12,
2018
Dilbert Is Misinterpreted
Tags assume, assumption, proof, obstinacy
Transcript
Alice: Is it true you are telling everyone the new product road map is stupid? Dilbert: Um... nothing remotely like that has ever happened. Here's an email in which I say how good it is. Alice: You hesitated in your answer. That means you're lying. Dilbert: Read the email!!!

