Ring Once Comic Strips - Page 19

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191 Results for Ring Once

View 181 - 190 results for ring once comic strips. Discover the best "Ring Once" comics from Dilbert.com.

Saying You Are Dumb

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Saying You Are Dumb - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, job, change, technology, dumb, imply, product

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dogbert's tech support ted: i can't figure out how to use your product. what should i do? dogbert: i recommend changing jobs to something less challenging. ted: are you saying i'm dumb? dogbert's once from phone: no. no. no. i'm only implying it.

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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac

Worst Idea Ever

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Worst Idea Ever - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags idea, savings, fake, psychic, prediction, money, unhappy

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boss: this is the worst idea i have ever seen. dilbert: didn't you once tell me you spent all of your savings on a fake psychic? and the only prediction she got right was that you would lose all of your money? boss: she also predicted i would be unhappy.

Wise Person Said

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Wise Person Said - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, wise, person, boil, stick, egg, Advice, proverb, threat, overrate

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asok: a wise person once said you can't boil an egg with a stick. wally: no, but i can threaten you with a stick unless you boil an egg for me. asok: why didn't the wise person think of that? wally: he sounds overrated

Ted Talks Creates A God

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Ted Talks Creates A God - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, technology, mental, midget, ted talks, binge-watching, god, dumb, all knowing

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new hire: i must leave you mental midgets behind as i go start up my own company. i was once dumb like all of you. then i started binge-watching ted talks, and i evolved. dilbert: what are you now? new hire: some kind of god, i assume.

Dilbert Did Not Say That

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Dilbert Did Not Say That - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, managers & supervisors, office workers, boss, prototype, authority, idiot, liar, innocent, guilty

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co-worker: why did you tell our pointy-haired boss we need to do more testing on the prototype? dilbert: i didn't do anything of the sort. co-worker: carl says you did. dilbert: who is a better authority on what i said - a guy who wasn't in the room or me? co-worker: good question. on one hand, carl is an idiot and a known liar. on the other hand, it is common for guilty people to say they are innocent. dilbert: what do innocent people say when you accuse them of stuff? co-worker: who knows? just do't do it again. dilbert under distress: i didn't do it once!!!

Boss Wins In Arbitration

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Boss Wins In Arbitration - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags accused, arbitration, bribery, business, covid, employment, fired, job, pandemic, racism, rotten, system, white supremacist, Win

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boss and carol wearing face masks. boss: i was falsely accused of being a white supremacist and fired. but i won in arbitration and got my job back! carol: how did you win? boss: bribery. once you realize the whole system is rotten, it's easier.

Boss Using Phone

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Boss Using Phone - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags cell phone, distraction, managers & supervisors, sarcasm, technology, business, disrespect, hear, face mask

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dilbert: are you listening to me? it looks as if you are using your phone. boss: i can do two things at once. dilbert: i'll bet you can't even hear me, you ridiculous moron. boss: uh-huh uh-huh go on. dilbert: you smell like old socks, and your brain is made of cheese.

Meeting Ending Invention

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Meeting Ending Invention - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, invent, app, application, ring, phone, meeting, strategic, direction, face mask

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dilbert: i invented an app that makes your phone ring to get you out of meetings. boss: how does that fit our strategic direction? dilbert's phone: bing, bing, bing! dilbert walking away: i need to take this call.

Quotes Out Of Context

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Quotes Out Of Context - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags anger, business, context, dumb, employment, face mask, malice, managers & supervisors, out of context, project, quote, writing

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co-worker: i don't like what you wrote about my project, so i took one of your quotes out of context, to make you look dumb, and sent it to your boss. dilbert: that won't work, because once i explain the proper context, he will see there is nothing to it. later that day. dilbert: ...so, as you can see, that quote was out of context. boss yelling: liar!!!

Doing Nothing Is A Decision

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Doing Nothing Is A Decision - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, harsh, hate, lazy, managers & supervisors, progress, projects, sarcasm, technology

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boss with laptop and on video chat: wally, it seems that once again you have made no progress on any of your projects. wally: it looks that way from the outside but what you have to understand is that not doing something is also a decision. boss: i literally hate talking to you. wally: harsh.