Single Cell Organism Comic Strips - Page 19
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195 Results for Single Cell Organism
View 181 - 190 results for single cell organism comic strips. Discover the best "Single Cell Organism" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday August 03,
2020
Boss Using Phone
Tags cell phone, distraction, managers & supervisors, sarcasm, technology, business, disrespect, hear, face mask
Transcript
dilbert: are you listening to me? it looks as if you are using your phone. boss: i can do two things at once. dilbert: i'll bet you can't even hear me, you ridiculous moron. boss: uh-huh uh-huh go on. dilbert: you smell like old socks, and your brain is made of cheese.
Thursday September 10,
2020
Artificial Dumbness
Tags business, cell phone, managers & supervisors, technology, software, invention, artificial, dumb, human, face mask
Transcript
dilbert: my new software invention is called "artificial dumbness." it acts dumb so humans will think they are talking to one of their own. boss: that couldn't possibly work. dilbert's phone echos: that couldn't possibly work.
Wednesday December 23,
2020
No Makeup On Zoom
Tags business, sarcasm, technology, zoom, call, voice only, makeup, hermit, fedex
Transcript
dilbert communicating with another person on cell phone. voice from phone: can we set up a zoom call later today? sound: tap tap tap i prefer a voice-only call because i'm not wearing makeup at home. how hideous do you look without makeup? i'm not sure, but fedex asked me to stop answering the door in person.
Sunday January 17,
2021
Vaccine
Tags business, business ethics, covid-19, sarcasm, vaccine, pharma, company, target, safety, efficacy
Transcript
boss: i'm happy to announce that our company has produced a vaccine for covid-19. dilbert: how did we do that? we're not even a pharma company. boss: i'm not going to lie. we had to cut some corners to get it done. dilbert: such as... boss: well, for example... we couldn't meet every single target we hoped to achieve. dilbert: how many targets did we miss? boss: only two things. dilbert: safety and efficacy? boss: okay, four things.
Wednesday March 10,
2021
Pandemic For 75 Years
Tags cell phone, covid-19, health & safety, pandemic, science, scientist, numb, sarcasm
Transcript
dilbert reading cell phone: scientists now say the pandemic will last seventy-five years. dilbert and dogbert say nothing. dilbert: yup, i'm numb.
Friday March 12,
2021
Deep Fake Zoom
Tags business, managers & supervisors, technology, video conference, zoom, call, deep fake, program, generic, employee, work, sarcasm, cell phone, laptop
Transcript
dilbert looking at phone on couch at home. dogbert: i thought you said you had a zoom call that would last for hours today. dilbert: i built a "deep fake" version of myself to take zoom calls and say generic employee stuff. next slide is boss in from of laptop on video call. boss: dilbert, do you have anything to add? dilbert: i don't know if i'm working hard or hardly working. har-har!
Tuesday March 23,
2021
Lonely Man
Tags business, technology, zoom, discuss, issue, video call, voice call, attractive, lonely, Women, man, remote, work from home, cell phone, linkedin, profile, photo
Transcript
dilbert on couch with cell phone texting. dilbert texting: let's do a zoom call to discuss that issue. tap tap tap other person's response: you only want to do a video call because i'm an attractive woman and you are a lonely single man working remotely. will you settle for a voice call while you stare at my linkedin profile photo? dilbert: yes
Sunday April 11,
2021
No Need To Zoom
Tags managers & supervisors, business, technology, video call, voice call, email, texting, zoom, meeting, update, team, laptop, cell phone, link, progress
Transcript
boss: i'll schedule a zoom call with the whole team tomorrow to give the update. dilbert: or you could tell me tomorrow, and i'll tell the rest of the team on our noon zoom call. boss: um, okay. i'll send you a zoom link tomorrow. dilbert: does our call need to be a video call? can we do a voice call? boss: well, yes, i guess we could just do a voice call. dilbert: do we need to talk, or can you just send me an an email? boss: i suppose i could just send you an email. dilbert: okay. we're making progress. now, have you heard of "texting"?
Wednesday April 14,
2021
Office Nickname
Tags business, technology, cell phone, nickname, office, insulting, approval, bad, start, permission
Transcript
dilbert video call on cell phone. dilbert: should i call you ted, or do you prefer your office nickname? i only ask because your nickname is insulting, so i just wanted to make sure you were okay with me using it. ted: i have an office nickname? dilbert thinking: aaand we're off to a bad start.
Thursday April 15,
2021
Project Is Not Feasible
Tags business, technology, video call, project, plan, feasible, back stab, defend, laptop, cell phone, competition
Transcript
boss and dilbert on video call. boss: i just talked to ted, and he says your project plan is not feasible. dilbert: i think you mean he mischaracterized my plan and then stabbed me in the back when i wasn't there to defend it. boss: he said you'd say that.