Woman Comic Strips - Page 19

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View 181 - 190 results for woman comic strips. Discover the best "Woman" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, lisa, challenge, fear, manliness, drawer, slam, weasels, fling, elevator, rule

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Dilbert says to a woman at a desk, "Uh . . . Lisa, I was wondering if you'd like to go on a date with me." Lisa replies, "I can only date you if you survive the 'challenge of fear.'" Dilbert asks, "What is the 'challenge of fear'?" Lisa replies, "It's a test of your manliness." Lisa explains, "First you must stick your head in the drawer as I slam it shut." Lisa continues, "Then I staple you to the employee bulletin board." Lisa continues, "Live weasels are stuffed in your pants." Dilbert looks nervous. Lisa continues, "Finally, you must fling yourself down the elevator shaft!" Dilbert sticks his head in a drawer and says, "Ready." Lisa looks at the reader and says, "The weird thing is that THEY rule the world."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, emergency, budget, exercise, estimate, impact, replacing, engineers, summarize, bullet

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Dilbert sits at his desk. A woman says, "Dilbert, I need you to stop everything and do this emergency budget exercise." The woman explains, "Estimate the budget impact of replacing all the engineers with decorative plants." The woman says, "Later, I'll summarize everybody's inputs into a bullet point, like 'oxygen is good.'" Dilbert asks, "Would these be rented plants?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags the boss, budget, impact, projects, bullet, points, oxygen, competition, jello, detailed, senior, executives

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A woman stands in front of the Boss's desk and says, "I summarized the budget impacts on six hundred projects with those three bullet points." The Boss reads, "- Oxygen is good. - Competition is bad. - I like Jello." The woman asks, "Do you think it's too detailed for the senior executives?" The Boss replies, "Take out the 'competition' one."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dogbert, master, earth, message, creature, king, retiring, soft, pillow

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Dogbert stands on a desk chair and says into a video camera, "This is Dogbert, Master of Earth, with a message to all creatures . . ." There is a satellite dish on the desk. A man and woman sit on their couch holding Dogbert signs and watching television. Dogbert says on tv, "I realized that you are all unworthy of having me as your king. I am retiring to go sit on a soft pillow." Dogbert lies on his pillow listening to the radio. Dogbert thinks, "No matter what I do, it always feels better when I stop doing it."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags alice, artificial, band, creatures, Dogbert, dominant, dominants, engineers, envelopes, females, gray, groom, mist, native, note, the boss, vegetation

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Dogbert's journal entry says, "A small band of the creatures were known to live high in an artificial structure." The panel shows an office building. Dogbert's journal says, "On my way to study them I took note of the native vegetation." Dogbert stands in an office wearing a backpack. He feels a potted plant and thinks, "Rented." His journal says, "The younger males were at play. They became self-conscious when watched." Dogbert watches a man playing computer games. Dogbert's journal says, "The dominant male had a gray back. He controlled the others by waving little envelopes." The Boss waves paychecks at the employees and they bow to him. Dogbert's journal says, "There were few females in the group. The less dominant males had no chance of mating." Dilbert and Wally watch a woman walk past them. Dogbert's journal syas, "Unlike other species they head no instinct for grooming." A man asks, "Want to groom?" Wally replies, "Drop dead." The journal says, "My time was up, but I will miss them, those . . ." Dogbert walks toward the elevator. The journal concludes, "Engineers in the mist." Wally asks Dilbert, "How long are you supposed to microwave popcorn?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Wally, alice, testosterone, Women, fuzzy, strangely, attractive, helpless

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Drops of liquid fly from Wally's head. Wally thinks, "Being bald isn't so bad. With all this testosterone, men will fear me and women will desire me." Wally approaches a man and woman and says to the man, "Take a hike, fuzzy. She's mine now." The woman says, "I do find you strangely attractive." Wally points to the drops on his head and says, "Testosterone, you're helpless."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, alice, Wally, testosterone, spewing, pickup truck, rifle, hunt, work, pigeons, truck

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Dilbert says to Wally, who has his arm around a woman, "Gee, Wally, you sure have been popular with women since the testosterone started spewing from your head." Drops of liquid come from Wally's head. Wally replies, "It's amazing . . . I even bought a pickup truck and a rifle so I can hunt after work." Dilbert asks, "What do you hunt around here?" Wally replies, "Pigeons are the most convenient . . . Don't even have to get out of the truck."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, Wally, flow, stopping, touching, shallow

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A tall woman has her arm around Wally. Wally says to Dilbert, "Life has been great since the testosterone started spewing from my head." Dilbert points to the drops on Wally's head and says, "It looks like the flow is stopping." The woman steps away from Wally and says, "Wait-a-minute. Why was I touching you?" Wally says, "I hope you won't be shallow about this."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, dinner, Women, dating, cloth, movie, breathe, coma, play, dead

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Dilbert and a woman sit at a table in a restaurant. The woman says, "Thanks for asking me to dinner, Dilbert." Dilbert replies, "It's my pleas . . ." The woman interrupts, "I love eating out. What kind of tablecloth is this? I saw a movie last month." Dilbert thinks, "Uh-oh . . . She's a serial yakker." The woman says, "Yak yak yak blah blah yak blah yak." Dilbert thinks, "She changes topics without even pausing to breathe." While the woman rambles, Dilbert thinks, "It's too hard to listen. I'm slipping into a coma." Dilbert grabs the tablecloth as he falls over in his chair. The waiter asks, "Is there a problem?" Dilbert lies on the floor. He says, "Run! Save yourself!" The woman starts talking again. The waiter panics and thinks, "Serial yakker!" The waiter falls on top of Dilbert and says, "Help me." Dilbert says, "Shhh! I'm trying to play dead."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, television, network, reports, stories, Games, yesterday, millionaires, problems, darryl, brain, crime

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Dilbert sits at his desk. Dogbert says, "I'm going to start up a television news network that only reports happy stories." Dogbert sits at a news desk and says, "In sports, fifty percent of the teams won their games yesterday and all the players are millionaires - most of whom have no serious drug problems." Dogbert continues, "Our person of the week is Darryl, who, despite his tiny brain, found success through a life of crime." In the corner of the tv screen there is a picture of a man holding a bag of money and hugging a woman in front of a palm tree.