2020 Comic Strips - Page 19

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

Cooties In Elbonia

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Cooties In Elbonia - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags cooties, deny, elbonia, managers & supervisors, outbreak, science, symptom, technology, news

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: the news says there's a major outbreak of cooties in elbonia. dilbert: i don't think cooties is a real thing. boss: experts say one of the symptoms of cooties is "denying science."

Cooties Diagnosis

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Cooties Diagnosis - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags confirmed, cooties, diagnosis, doctor, medicine, Opinion, professional, skepticism, symptom, test

View Transcript

Transcript

doctor: in my professional opinion, you have a bad case of the cooties. we don't have any tests for cooties, but the main symptom is skepticism, and you have that. dilbert: cooties are not real. doctor: diagnosis confirmed.

Cooties Contact Tracing

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Cooties Contact Tracing - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags 2 weeks, contact, cooties, doctor, doctors' offices, infect, physical, tracing, Women, zero

View Transcript

Transcript

doctor: we need to do contact tracing to determine who else you might have infected with cooties. how may women have you had physical contact with in the past two weeks? dilbert: i'd rather not say. doctor: i'll put you down for zero.

Wally Sneezes His Mask

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Sneezes His Mask  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags different, face, health, mask, office workers, pundits, sneeze

View Transcript

Transcript

wally sneezes and his mask flies out from his face and slaps him in the face and he falls out of his chair. wally: ah-choo!!!! slap! dilbert watching: the pundits were right- everything is different now.

Quarantine Before Date

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Quarantine Before Date  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags date, desperation, dinner, office workers, quarantine, technology, two weeks

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: would you like to go to dinner with me? women: only if you self-quarantine for two weeks first. dilbert: can do! women: well, it seems i underestimated your desperation.

Lack Of Social Contact

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Lack Of Social Contact - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags office workers, pandemic, technology, social, contact, best, week, covid, cope

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally and Dilbert at coffee pot wearing face masks. dilbert: how did you cope with the loss of social contact during the pandemic? wally: best weeks of my life. how about you? dilbert: i didn't want to be the first to say it.

Tracking Dilbert

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Tracking Dilbert - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags body cam, freedom, keystrokes, location, managers & supervisors, phone, report, status, technology, track, video conference, work at home, working

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: maybe i could permanently work at home. boss: on video conference: no problem. i just need a few things from you to make sure you are working. dilbert: such as? boss: well. obviously, i need frequent status reports. dilbert: sounds reasonable. boss: and i'll need to track your keystrokes and your phone's location. dilbert: wow. well, okay. i guess i can get used to that in return for my freedom to work at home. boss: now that I've loosened you up. let's talk about fitting you for a body cam.

Five Pages Of Forms

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Five Pages Of Forms   - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags salesman, vendor, application, technology, cancel, order, easy, difficult, signature

View Transcript

Transcript

vendor salesman: just fill out these five pages of information, and we're good to go. dilbert: no. cancel the order, and i'll find an easier vendor to work with. vendor salesman: in that case, all i need is your signature. dilbert: that worked? continued...

Refusing Works

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Refusing Works - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, office workers, refuse, stupid, power, leash, head, sarcasm

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: yesterday i refused to do something i had been asked to do because it was stupid. and it worked out fine. wally: don't let the power go to your head. dilbert doing happy dance: i am off the leash! continued...

No To Pie Chart

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
No To Pie Chart - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, pandemic, technology, pie chart, line graph, stupid, insubordination, covid, face mask

View Transcript

Transcript

boss and dilbert wearing face masks boss: put this on a pie chart instead of a line graph. dilbert: no, that's stupid. i'm not going to do that. boss: oh. okay. dilbert: why is this working? continued...