Arms Out Comic Strips - Page 19

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View 181 - 190 results for arms out comic strips. Discover the best "Arms Out" comics from Dilbert.com.

Wally's Awesome Emails

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Wally's Awesome Emails - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags work ethic, laziness, excuse, competition, accomplishment

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Alice: This week I designed and built a prototype that can turn any kind of garbage into fuel. Boss: And Wally? Wally: I sent out some emails, but no one answered. Before you judge me, keep in mind that you don't know how awesome those emails were.

Too Dumb To Understand

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Too Dumb To Understand - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags intelligence, perspective, dumb, social media, comment, technology

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Boss: I can't believe how stupid this person is. Dilbert: How do you rule out the hypothesis that you're too dumb to understand his point? Take your time. I can wait. Boss: For starters, he disagrees with me.

Dilbert Fits It All In One Slide

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Dilbert Fits It All In One Slide - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags irrational, demands, managers, powerpoint, nonsense

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Dilbert: It took me a hours to figure out how to fit everything you wanted into one slide. Boss: That's great. Now add in some stuff about the budget, our risks, and all of our competition. And keep it all on one slide. Dilbert: Have you ever listened to the noise coming from your mouth?

Wally Creates Virtually Reality Goggles

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Wally Creates Virtually Reality Goggles - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags vr, virtual reality, deception, laziness, work ethic

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Wally: Check out the new virtual reality googles. You wear them all day to upgrade the way you experience the world. Narrator: Later. Boss: It's good to see you working so hard, Wally.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags technology, learning, education, tutorial, frustration

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Dilbert: I love living in a world where everything I need to know is on the Internet. I'll just hop over to YouTube and learn how to use my new app. Perfect! I can choose from over a hundred different tutorials! It will only take me an hour or so to figure out which one refers to my version of the software. Narrator: One hour later. Dilbert: Gaaa!!! These videos are poorly labeled! Narrator: Two hours later. Dilbert: Gaaa!!! This guy talks too slowly! Get to the point! Narrator: Three hours later. Dilbert: Gaaa!!! Why are my menu options different from the tutorial? I hate living in a world where everything I need to know is on the Internet.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Advice, workload, stress, counseling

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Dilbert: I have too much work, and it's stressing me out. Boss: I've been reading about this sort of situation. Try writing don all the things that make you feel grateful. Dilbert: That would be more work! Boss: For your anger issues, try keeping a journal of all the times you lose your temper. Dilbert: That would be more work! Has anyone ever taken your advice? Boss: Do you know the guy in Marketing with the eye patch? Dilbert: He followed your advice? Boss: Half of it.

Ted Has Fly Brain

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Ted Has Fly Brain - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags greeting card, sick, brain damage, marketing, advertising, mindless, business, medical

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Carol: Sign this card for Ted. A fly went up his nose and laid eggs in his brain. Dilbert: Is he coming back to work? Carol: We think he'll live out his days in Marketing.

Fit Bit Monitoring

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Fit Bit Monitoring - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags mothers, mom, surveillance, spying, nosy

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Dilmom: This is your mom. I've been monitoring your Fitbit and... whatever you're doing, cut it out. Dilbert: It was disturbing on many levels. Dogbert: "Mom Drone" behind you.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags goals, accomplishment, consciousness, death, achievement, medical

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Dilbert: Do you have any long-term goals? Wally: Just death. Dilbert: Death isn't a goal. Wally: It's the best kind. This way, I can go out as a winner. With my last breath, I plan to do a fist pump and yell, "I did it!" What's your long-term plan? Dilbert: I plan to use brain imaging technology to map my mind. Then I'll create a digital copy of myself to live forever in a software simulation. Unless I already did. Wally: Give yourself a fist pump, just in case.

Tina Wants A Work Husband

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Tina Wants A Work Husband - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags marriage, Women, nagging, wife, wives, criticism, yelling, relationships

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Tina: I'm in the market for a "work husband." Do you have a "work wife" yet? Dilbert: I'm not sure. Alice criticized me a lot. Does that count? Tina: That's all I wanted to do, too. Dilbert: Okay, but don't let Alice find out.