Company Comic Strips - Page 19
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882 Results for Company
View 181 - 190 results for company comic strips. Discover the best "Company" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday July 01,
2013
Tags work ethic, acknowledge contributions, management
Transcript
Dilbert: I'd feel more loyalty to the company if management would acknowledge my contributions. Wally: If my job were as meaningless as yours, I wouldn't want management to notice me at all. Dilbert: You and I have the same job. Wally: I seem to be handling it better.
Saturday June 29,
2013
Tags ignorance (knowledge), internet & world wide web, binder, cloud
Transcript
Boss: Alan has been out of the workforce for a long time. I need you to ease him back in. Coworker: Do you have a binder of the company policies? Dilbert: It's in the cloud.
Thursday June 20,
2013
Tags deception, managers & supervisors, company policy, rate staff, no upper body strength, real reason, business
Transcript
Boss: Company policy says I have to rate one-third of my staff as "Does not meet expectations." I chose the two of you because you have no upper body strength. This way it's safer if you go berzerk. I thought you said I should tell them the reason I picked them. Catbert: Not the real reason.
Thursday May 30,
2013
Tags ex ceo, executives, generous, negotiated, severance package, wages, robotic flea, giant flea, money
Transcript
Catbert: Our es-CEO negotiated an unusually generous severance package. We had to build a giant robotic flea to suck the assets out of the company. The weird part is that it seemed reasonable at the time.
Wednesday May 08,
2013
Tags anger, etiquette & ethics, biggest customer, random drug sample, awkward
Transcript
Boss: Wally, I'd like you to meet the CEO of the company that is our biggest customer. Wally: I'd shake but I have coffee in one hand, my random drug test sample in the other, and I don't want either one to get cold. Hey, I'm not the one who made this awkward.
Monday May 06,
2013
Tags telecommunication lines, work ethic, telecommuting, policy, assignments, disappointed
Transcript
Boss: And you are...? Coworker: I've worked for you for years. I was telecommuting, but now our company policy forbids it, so here I am. Boss: Did I give you any assignments in those four years? Coworker: No, and you can imagine how disappointed I am now.
Friday April 19,
2013
Tags competition (psychology), managers & supervisors, thwarting rivals, competitions, expensive engineering solutions, business
Transcript
Dilbert: Have you heard any rumors about what is driving our boss's decisions lately? Alice: He's thwarting a rival within the company by offering only prohibitively expensive engineering solutions. Dilbert: My work has meaning, but it's not the good kind.
Friday March 15,
2013
Tags anger, engineers, wages, start up, million each, under paid, money, salray, paid workers
Transcript
Boss: This is one of the engineers that works at the start-up we purchased. We bought the company just to get the engineers. Basically, each engineer cost us a million dollars. Dilbert: I'm so underpaid! Engineer: That money didn't go to me!
Sunday March 10,
2013
Tags work ethic, fired, programming code, undocumented, passwords, death spiral, huge raise
Transcript
Boss: Wally, you have accomplished none of your goals. I have to let you go. Wally: Actually, I accomplished a lot. I spent the past ten years creating a tangle of undocumented programming code. Every one of our major systems is linked to it. If I don't enter a password every day, the entire company will go into a technology death spiral. If you value your job, you'll give me a huge raise and dance on this table like a monkey!!! Boss: Let's call it a tie. Wally: Yeah, I'm good with that.
Wednesday February 27,
2013
Tags office buildings, economic consulting, benefits of standing
Transcript
Boss: I hired The Dogbert Ergonomic Consulting Company to tell us about the health benefits of standing. Dogbert: Standing be good. Boss: That's it? Dogbert: The topic isn't as complicated as you might think.


