Job Comic Strips - Page 19
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936 Results for Job
View 181 - 190 results for job comic strips. Discover the best "Job" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday August 08,
2015
The World Always Needs Bankers
Tags banking, big business, college, crime, debt, future, hope, job, money, robot, robots, stealing, business, education
Transcript
Carol: My son is trying to pick a major for college. Do you have any advice? Dilbert: Well, it will take him fifteen years to pay off his student loans, but most jobs will be replaced by robots in ten. But the world always needs bankers. Carol: We're trying to steer him away from crime.
Monday August 03,
2015
Working Sixty Hours A Week
Tags work ethic, hours, workload, interpretation, negativity
Transcript
Man: I'm working sixty hours a week. Dilbert: Wow. You must be a terrible employee if you have to work long hours just to keep your job. Man: I was hoping you would respect my work ethic. Wally: Wrong table.
Saturday August 01,
2015
Solving Problems In Interviews
Tags interview, trick, thinking, problem
Transcript
Job Interview. Boss: Tell me your process for solving this sort of problem. Man: I would ignore it for a week and likely discover that it wasn't important in the first place. If it still matters after a week, I would hold fake job interviews and ask people how to solve it. Boss: Apparently, that doesn't work.
Sunday July 26,
2015
Tags meeting, first impression, culture, interview, job interview, deception, revenge, nice, niceness, nice people, business
Transcript
Job Interview. Boss; When I make hiring decisions, my biggest priority is cultural fit. Man: Your buzzwords are like music to my unemployed ears. And here come some employees who can tell me about your company culture. Boss: Uh-oh. Man: Hey, guys. Can I ask some questions about the culture here? Dilbert: Working here is like a paradise. Wally: Best place ever. Dilbert: Our days are full of laughter, hugging, and camaraderie. Wally: Coffee is free! Man: Wow. Thanks. I look forward to working here. Boss: ??? Dilbert: I didn't like that guy. Wally: I'm glad we got our revenge in advance.
Wednesday July 22,
2015
Removing Obstacles
Tags hinder, hinderance, obstacle, obstacles, management, managers, insult, zinger, zing
Transcript
Boss: My job is removing obstacles. Asok: When do you leave? Dilbert: I think he was going in a different direction.
Wednesday July 08,
2015
Attendance Strategy
Tags work ethic, laziness, deception, attendance, Advice, mentor, mentoring
Transcript
Wally: Ideally, you want to find a job that requires more attendance than work. And then you want to concoct an endless string of "reasons" you can't come to work. The ultimate goal is getting paid for being nothing but a concept. Asok: I bask in your wisdom.
Sunday June 28,
2015
Tags meditate, meditation, mindful, mindfulness, mbct, stress, trick, laziness, deception, work ethic, ruse, nap, napping
Transcript
Wally: Do you mind if I take Steve Jobs' advice and practice meditation and mindfulness? Science says meditation can reduce stress and make me more productive. And obviously it worked for Steve Jobs, so there's that. To the untrained eye, it will seem as if I am napping. But in reality, I will be quieting my mind to boost creativity. Boss: Meditate on your own time. Wally: Wow. That just stressed me out and shut down my creative juices. Boss: Just do your job! Wally: Because quality doesn't matter?
Tuesday May 26,
2015
Ten Things We Look For In Employees
Tags hiring, qualifications, interview, job interview, outsmart
Transcript
Boss: We look for ten qualities when we hire. Man: Ten? I'm looking for an employer who knows how to set priorities. Boss: He was too good for us.
Wednesday May 20,
2015
In The Long Run We Are All Dead
Tags work, work ethic, existentialism, suffering, death, philosophy, pessimism, Advice, medical
Transcript
Dogbert: As you head to your horrible job, remember these inspirational words... In the long run, we're all dead. Dilbert: That feels like an oversimplification. Dogbert: I skipped the part where you suffer for 90 years.
Wednesday April 29,
2015
Strategy To Get What You Deserve
Tags Promotion, recognition, strategy, business, competition
Transcript
Tina: I didn't get the promotion I deserve. Alice: What strategy did you use? Tina: Who uses a strategy to get what they deserve? Alice: Maybe you should ask the person who got your job. She sounds smart.

