Pay Comic Strips - Page 19

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

326 Results for Pay

View 181 - 190 results for pay comic strips. Discover the best "Pay" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags enormous brain, world changing, no pay, no cubilce, cling to ceiling, interviews well

View Transcript

Transcript

"If you hire me, I will use my enormous brain to develop world-changing products." "I require no pay and no cubicle. I will eat used paper, and cling to the ceiling." The Boss: "In my defense, he interviews very well." "Zzzz."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags low pay, lowest paid, blame, no one left, aliens, illegal

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina: "I just saw a list of everyone's salary." "I thought the glass ceiling was holding me down, but you have the highest pay here." "There's no one left to blame for my low pay except... Ooh, wait... How about illegal aliens?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags accidentally sent, salary spredsheet, department, more money, upset, wizard, swollen appendix

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Look… Carol accidentally sent the salary spreadsheet to everyone in the department! Dilbert: WHat??! your pay is higher than mine??! But you're like a…a… WallY: wizard? Dilbert: swollen appendix.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags low pay, unpleasant work enviornment, applicants, miss old days, dental plan

View Transcript

Transcript

The boos: I can't find any highly trained job applicants who want an unpleasant work environment and low pay. Catbert: I miss the old days where a man would build a skyscraper with his bare hands just to make you stop hitting him with a shovel. The boss: Did they have a dental plan? Catbert: yes. they called it duck!!

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags small business, need to be paid, small man, truthful, painfully honest

View Transcript

Transcript

I own a small business. Its imperative that you pay us on time or else we'll go out of business. and then you wouldn't ever need to pay... Oh dear lord, what have I said?!!

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags stock investing, valuable data, project on schedule, refines data, ceo, accountants, nanotaechnology, discount brokerage, investors, secret society, donald trumps

View Transcript

Transcript

dogcart explains stock investing Dogbert: pay attention. First, employees provide data. Th boss: is your project on schedule? Wally: I didn't know I had a project. A Manager refines the data. The boss: we're on schedule. The CEO gives visibility to analysts. CEO: no problems whatsoever. Accountants publish bad news in footage notes using a combination of nanotechnology and gibberish. Accountant: still too obvious. -Discount brokerage firms tell you that you're smart- Use you own ideas! Investors do their own research Buy it because I did. Thank you unbiased stranger! A secret society of Donald Trump look alike end up with all your money trumps: you're fired. you are!

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags pay calculated, teal, side conversations, cilantro, head will explode, test theory, better than hoped, meeting, table, conference table, business

View Transcript

Transcript

"You pay will be calculated a new way." "Then I said teal isn't a color." "Shhh! no side conversations." "Multiplied by the base salary." "I think it's a spice." "No side conversations." "It's like cilantro." "I can't help it. I'm the kind of guy who needs to talk or else it feels like my head will explode." "Let's test that theory." Mmmph! "Wow, that worked out better than I'd hoped."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags ceo, worer, 40 million a year, 400 x worker pay, salary, disparity, golden egg, every ten minutes, money

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: "Our CEO will be happy to answer any questions." Alice: "Why does the company pay you 40 million dollars a year?" "I ask because it's 400 times more than I make. And I work 70 hours a week." "Do you work 28,000 hours per week?" "Or do you have some sort of special ability that isn't obvious?" CEO: "GRRRRR RRRRR AAAAH-OOGAH!!!" "Golden egg. One every ten minutes." "Good answer."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags concierge, hotel, slave, do naything, oo much, donate kidney, kiss up, over trained, give pay

View Transcript

Transcript

Concierge: "Welcome to the Metrogarden hotel! How may I make your stay incredible?" "I would be delighted to iron your socks, examine you for suspicious moles or take a second job and give you my pay." Dilbert: "I think they over-trained you." "I'm shaved and preped to donate a kidney."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags manager of executive compensation, plan to steal, meeting, back slapping, pormises, raises, ponys, vacations, huge raise, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: "I'd like you to meet Bradley, our new manager of executive compensation." Boss: "Bradley's job is to recommend to our board how much to pay company executives such as me." "Bradley is totally objective." Bradley: "Totally." "That was a world-class observation, so I'll recommend that the company buy you a pony." "...A STRONG pony to carry the huge bags of cash I recommend for you." Boss: "Good work, Bradley. I'll recommend to the board that you get a huge raise!" Dilbert: "Gaaa!! Stop pretending to have reasons!! Just steal the stupid money!!!" Boss: "See what I have to deal with every day?" Bradley: "Would an extra month of vacation reduce the sting?"