Rifle Through Purse Comic Strips - Page 19
313 Results for Rifle Through Purse
View 181 - 190 results for rifle through purse comic strips. Discover the best "Rifle Through Purse" comics from Dilbert.com.
Dogbert and Dilbert sit on the armrest of the couch. Dogbert says, ". . . So you didn't read the software license and you inadvertently agreed to be Bill Gates' towel boy in his huge new house. When do we move?" They hear a rumbling noise and the house shakes. A machine crashes through the wall and says, "Prepare for assimilation." Dilbert says, "The house has come for me."
Dilbert sits in a taxi cab holding his suitcase. A doorman opens the door and says, "Welcome to the hotel, allow me to touch your bag so you'll feel obligated to tip me." Dilbert hugs his bag and walks past three bellmen. He thinks, "I've got to make it through the gauntlet of bag-losing hotel zombies." The hotel employees think about money as they reach for his bag. Dilbert stands at the counter and says to a woman, "No room?!! I have a reservation!!" The clerk replies, "Oh, that's original." A bellhop reaches for Dilbert's luggage.
Carol tells Wally, "Today is your ten-year anniversary, Wally." Carol says, "Pick a gift from the service anniversary catalog." Wally asks, "Is there a ceremony?" Carol replies, "Yeah. We just had it." Wally asks, "May I say a few words?" Carol replies, "Anywhere but here." Wally looks through the catalog and tells Dilbert, "The selection of gifts at the ten-year level is somewhat meager." Dilbert says, "The golf ball is nice." Wally says, "I'm leaning toward the 'I'm with stupid' shirt." Dilbert says, "All I see is a blank shirt." Wally says, "It comes with a fabric pen." Dilbert says, "I can almost feel the love our company has for us." Wally asks, "What do you mean 'us'?"
Catbert stands on a desk and says to Dilbert, "Here are the resumes of highly qualified applicants for your opening." Catbert snatches the resumes away from Dilbert and says, "It's too bad we don't pay enough to hire qualified applicants. Ha ha ha ha ha ha!!" Alice and Dilbert sit at a table looking through piles of resumes. Alice says, "Let's see . . . We've got resumes in pencil . . . Crayon . . . pencil . . . Eyeliner . . ." Dilbert says, "Hey! Dot matrix!"
Dilbert stands in line at a cash register. He thinks, "Mmm . . . Soon you will be mine, little chocolate bar." The customer ahead of him says, "I think I have exact change." Dilbert smells the candy bar and thinks, "I can smell it through the wrapper." The woman reaches into her purse and says, "Here's a nickel." Dilbert thinks, "I rub it on my arm to get the total body experience." The woman looks into her pocketbook and says, "No, that's a breath mint." Dilbert holds the candy bar over his head and thinks, "I am transported to another dimension." The woman says, "Ooh, a roll of pennies . . . No, lipstick." Dilbert looks at the woman as she says, "I'll give you a check. Where's that checkbook?" Dilbert snatches the woman's purse. Dilbert stomps on the purse while the woman watches. Dilbert stands in front of the counter and says, "What a funny day to forget my wallet." The woman clenches her teeth and looks angry.
The Boss says, "Alice, I'm putting you in charge of developing our booth for the big trade show." The Boss says, "I picked you because the males in the department have disqualified themselves through a process of strategic incompetence." Alice asks Dilbert, "What is strategic incompetence?" Dilbert replies, "I had that written down someplace, but I lost it."
Tags #meets expectations, #review, #two percent raise, #eighty hour week, #three patents, #make millions, #donated bone marrow, #attendece problem, #cheated on money, #alice, #take advantage, #cheap, #scammed
The Boss sits at his desk and says, "Alice, your performance this year is 'meets expectations.' You get a two percent raise." Alice looks shocked and says, "MEETS EXPECTATIONS?! I worked eighty hours every week!" The Boss replies, "Yeah . . . Well, I expected that." Alice yells, "I earned three patents this year! The company will make millions!!" The Boss says, "Really? Wow. I mean . . . I expected that too." Alice clenches her teeth and shouts, "I donated bone marrow to our biggest customer!!! Twice!!!" The Boss replies, "I noted that under 'attendance problem.'" Alice, Dilbert and Wally sit at a table eating lunch. Alice leans on the table and covers her face. Dilbert tells her, "I told you the bone marrow thing would haunt you." Wally says, "I'm starting to think the time I worked through lunch was for nothing."
Dilbert stands in front of the Boss's desk. The Boss says, "You'll head our technology alliance with a small Silicon Valley start-up." The Boss continues, "Their corporate culture is a bit different from ours. Try to be flexible." Dilbert and a man with a goatee and a ring through his head sit at a conference table. Dilbert opens his briefcase and says, "I've never seen a pierced brain before." The man puts his bare feet on the table and says, "I think I'll call you 'Mister Conservative.'"
Dilbert thinks as he swims through the water, "Uh-oh . . . I'm a mile from shore and too exhausted to swim back." Dilbert thinks, "My only hope is that an intelligent dolphin will see my plight and rescue me." Dilbert sees a dolphin and thinks, "I'm in luck!" The dolphin says, "Two words: tuna . . . net."
Dogbert and Ratbert walk through the house. Dogbert says, "I hear you're becoming an annoying person who misinterprets everything." Ratbert replies, "Yes, I'm more assertive." Dogbert says, "I said annoying, not assertive." Ratbert says, "Apology accepted." They stand at the top of the cellar stairs. Dogbert opens the dryer door and says, "Whatever you do, don't climb in this clothes dryer." Ratbert says, "Yeah, it does look cozy in there."