Service Business Comic Strips - Page 19

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Service Business

View 181 - 190 results for service business comic strips. Discover the best "Service Business" comics from Dilbert.com.

Increasing Training Budget

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Increasing Training Budget - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, office workers, budget, training, research & development, company, bankrupt

View Transcript

Transcript

boss to tina: i'm planning to increase the budget for training by fifty percent next year. tina to dilbert: he didn't say anything about the other budgets. dilbert to wally: he didn't say anything about the budget for research and development. wally to alice: sounds like he's phasing out research and development. alice to asok: he wouldn't phase out research and development unless he knows the company is failing. asok to carol: the company must be going bankrupt. carol to boss: the company is bankrupt. boss thinking: i guess i don't need to increase the training budget.

Audit Blackmail

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Audit Blackmail - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business ethics, business, audit, software, blackmail, free, network, money, dollars

View Transcript

Transcript

dogbert: my audit of your company has uncovered a number of software vulnerabilities. for example, a blackmailer could take control of your network and make you pay a billion dollars to get it back. ceo: good work. what do we owe you? dogbert: the audit is free. i only did it to find ways to blackmail you.

Cock Fights

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Cock Fights - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, business ethics, audit, disturbing, results, sales, department, cockfight, invitation, rooster

View Transcript

Transcript

dogbert: my audit of your company has uncovered many disturbing things. for example, did you know that the sales department holds cockfights on the third floor every tuesday? boss: why have i never been invited? dogbert: you're not a rooster.

Dogbert The Auditor

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dogbert The Auditor - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, business ethics, consultant, company, fee, fraud, crime, report, question

View Transcript

Transcript

dogbert: for a reasonable fee, i will audit your company and find any fraud or crime if it exists. dilbert: what's to stop you from taking bribes from the fraudsters and reporting that everything is fine? dogbert: my business model depends on you not asking that kind of question.

Important Context

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Important Context - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, communication, office, office workers, sarcasm, question, answer, context, rude, interrupt

View Transcript

Transcript

alice: why are you looking at your phone while i'm answering your question? dilbert: because our answer has nothing to do with my question, but i didn't want to be rude and interrupt you. alice: i'm giving important context. dilbert: text me when that part is done.

Stapler Training

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Stapler Training  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, managers & supervisors, training, planning, meeting, stapler, safety, mandatory, fight

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: dilbert, what have you accomplished since our planning meeting? dilbert: the planning meeting was this morning. all i've done since then is take a mandatory training class on stapler safety. boss: but now you're fresh and ready for the fight? dilbert: only if it's a stapler fight.

Scheduling A Call

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Scheduling A Call - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, managers & supervisors, technology, video conference call, schedule, call, zoom, facetime, signal, whatsapp, voice call, clock

View Transcript

Transcript

boss and dilbert communicating on video conference call. dilbert: let's schedule a follow-up call. do you prefer zoom, FaceTime, signal, WhatsApp, or voice call? boss: zoom dilbert: how about next tuesday at 10 a.m. my time, which is 1 p.m. your time? boss: i'll be on the road then, so you 10 a.m. will be my noon. but that's after the time change. boss: and i can't remember if i'm going to a place that change their clocks. dilbert: why don't we skip the whole thing because the call we are scheduling probably won't be any more useful than this one. boss: let us never speak of this again.

Can't Tell When He Is Joking

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Can't Tell When He Is Joking - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, joking, managers & supervisors, sarcasm, technology, employment, moon lighting, work, video conference

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert, boss and asok in front of laptop on video conference call. voice from laptop: excuse me. i have to take a call from one of the other employers who also believes i work for them full time from home. boss to dilbert: i can't tell when he's joking. dilbert: that's probably for the best.

Wally Does Three Jobs

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Does Three Jobs - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, money, fortune, employer, employment, working from home, job, manage, expectations, people

View Transcript

Transcript

wally and dilbert on video conference call. wally: i'm making a fortune working from home. three different employers think i work only for them. dilbert: how do you do three jobs at the same time: wally: it comes down to managing other people's expectations.

No Makeup On Zoom

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
No Makeup On Zoom - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, sarcasm, technology, zoom, call, voice only, makeup, hermit, fedex

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert communicating with another person on cell phone. voice from phone: can we set up a zoom call later today? sound: tap tap tap i prefer a voice-only call because i'm not wearing makeup at home. how hideous do you look without makeup? i'm not sure, but fedex asked me to stop answering the door in person.