Woman Comic Strips - Page 19

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

558 Results for Woman

View 181 - 190 results for woman comic strips. Discover the best "Woman" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags best negotiator, vendor, engineering, training, resist, facts, infinite liability, unidentified gizma

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: "The vendor is sending their best negotiator." "You must use all of your engineering training to resist her tricks and look only at the facts." woman: "And if you agree to infinite liability, you get a .00001% chance of dating me. Plus a minute to play with an unidentified gizmo."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags testing new invention, mothers use telephone, toddlers noise cancelation, visual, child, moth frozen open, change forever

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says into the telephone, "Thanks for testing my new invention." The woman on the other end of the line says, "If this thing works, it will forever change the way that mothers use the telephone." Dilbert says, "We've been on the phone for half a minute. The noise should start at any moment." The woman says, "Here it comes." A toddler walks into the room and yells, "Hey! What are you doing on the phone?!" The toddler continues yelling, "Can I eat ten cookies? I think my arm is broken! Where's my toy?!!" The toddler cries, "Waaaaaaaaa!!" On the other end of the line, Dilbert says, "Now push the toddler noise cancellation button." The toddler's mouth is still wide open, but no sound is coming out. The woman says, "It stopped the noise, but you need to do something about the visual."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags late worker, coffee and bagel, starts late, woman, worked 6am, paid same, smarter, casual brillaince

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally is walking past Alice's cubicle. Alice calls out, "You're coming to work at nine-thirty?" Alice walks over to Wally and says, "By the time you get your coffee and get your bagel, it'll be ten o'clock!" Alice continues, "I started at six! I've already worked for four hours, and I'll probably stay late!" Alice continues, "Over the course of a lifetime, I'll work twice as much as you!" Alice realizes, "But... we'll be paid the same... and we'll both die anyway." Alice continues, "So.. I guess what you're saying is that you're smarter than I am." Alice yells, "I curse the casual brilliance of your life strategy!!!" Wally walks away and thinks, "My bagel will be extra tasty today."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags grabbed by hand, my sales meeting, dressed like god, huge hand, guy, thought it would be funny, hee hee

View Transcript

Transcript

The plane is shown being grabbed by a giant hand. A flight crew member announces, "Folks, please stay in your seats. We've been grabbed by a huge hand." The woman next to Dilbert looks terrified. Dilbert says, "I hope this has nothing to do with how I dressed for my sales meeting at the Vatican." Ratbert is watching television at home. A voice from the television says, "But it turned out to be a guy with a huge hand who said he 'thought it would be funny.'" Ratbert laughs, "Hee hee! Huge hand."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags sales call, vatican, sales people, worried

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert, dressed as God, is seated on the plane next to a woman. He says, "It's because I'm making a sales call to the Vatican." Dilbert continues, "I'm told that salespeople should dress one level above their customers." The plane is viewed from the outside. A voice asks, "Aren't you worried?" Another voice responds, "About what?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags casino for morons, concept, court room, Dogbert, gaming commission, ratbert, room full dolts, jury, legal

View Transcript

Transcript

Headline: Gaming Commission. Dogbert and Ratbert are sitting at a table. Dogbert says into a microphone, "My concept is a casino exclusively for morons." Dogbert continues, "Imagine a room full of oblivious dolts, and I'm taking advantage of them for personal gain." A woman on the commission asks, "When would that concept begin?" Dogbert replies, "About a minute ago."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags corner cubicle, window control, mad woman, giant magnifiying glass, life support

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert approaches Wally and says, "Alice moved into the corner cubicle and claimed control over the window shades!" Wally exclaims, "Gaaa!!" Dilbert says, "Our life support systems will be in the hands of a madwoman!" Wally is sweating and panicked. He says, "Maybe she'll be kind." Alice is holding on to a giant magnifying glass that she's attached to her cubicle wall."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags at party, camera advice, engineer, physical, wally dressed as engineer, engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert is talking to a woman at a party. The woman says, "You're an engineer, maybe you can tell me what kind of digital camera I should buy." Dilbert responds, "Would you ask a doctor for free advice?" The woman says, "I got a complete physical by the appetizer." Wally approaches them in a doctor's uniform and says, "Yeah, I'm never off duty."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags critical, engineer, handshake, head with lies, new team player, parinoid, soft and clammy hand, undead, engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss introduces a woman to Dilbert, "Dilbert, meet your new team member, Peri Noid." Peri Noid extends her hand and asks, "Why haven't you invited me to a meeting? Who's filling your head with lies?" Peri Noid continues, "Your hand is soft and clammy! Are you the undead?!!" Dilbert replies, "Engineer."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags marketing genius, rebate program, process, impenetrable fortress, unclear instructions, physical impossibilities, hidden 300 digit, serial number

View Transcript

Transcript

Headline: Marketing Genius. A business associate says to The Boss and Wally, "We designed a rebate program that won't cost a penny." The business associate continues, "The rebate process is an impenetrable fortress of unclear instructions and physical impossibilities. An elderly couple sits at a table reviewing bills. The man says, "Next time we have to find the hidden 300-digit serial number and write it in a box that's half an inch long." The woman replies, "Stinkin' weasels."