Ask Comic Strips - Page 19

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

413 Results for Ask

View 181 - 190 results for ask comic strips. Discover the best "Ask" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags programmers, agile programming, methods, more work, fewer people

View Transcript

Transcript

We need three more programmers. "Use agile programming methods." "Agile programming doesn't just mean doing more work with fewer people." "Find me some words that DO mean that and ask again."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags illegal plan, change minds, panning for gold, soirit

View Transcript

Transcript

The legal department says your plan is illegal. "Ask them again." "Maybe they'll change their minds." "I'll get on that as soon as I'm done panning for gold in the water fountain." "That's the spirit!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags arranged amrriage, low standards, sister, love, has sister, Family, relationships

View Transcript

Transcript

"My relatives want me to have an arranged marriage." "If they find someone who's totally hot and has low standards, ask if she has a sister." "What about love?" "How can you not love that?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

MAPS "I reserved a mid-sized car." "Let's see what's left." "We don't have any cars left. But I can let you borrow a glove from the lost-and-found bin." "What good is one glove?" "You wouldn't ask that if you had a frozen hand."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

Is it more important to follow our documented process or to meet the deadline? "I only ask because our deadline is arbitrary and our documented process was pulled out of someone's lower torso." "Where's your artificial sense of urgency?" "Teamwork killed it."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

"Wally, I came to ask you for the new design specs." "But we both know you'll send me to someone who doesn't have them, and that person will refer me back to you." "When I return, you will have escaped to your secret hiding place." "Ted has the specs."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

"Steve, ask everyone in the department to sign this birthday card for my secretary." "I've led men in combat and this is the sort of assignment you give me???" "Also, run down to the convenience store and buy her something fluffy or orange."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

"Women know all about diets. Which one should I use?" "Should I go with the one that makes me miserable and doesn't work, or the one that might kill me?" "If you do both, I won't ask for anything on National Secretary's Day."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags simulation, productivity, workforce, pandemic

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: Run a simulation of our productivity if we lost half our workforce to a pandemic. Dilbert: "Should I assume we lose the productive people or the people who ask other people to run pandemic simulations?" The Boss: "Try both ways?" Dilbert: "Okay. I'm done."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags ignored, coworker, acknowledge existence, uniportant, talking clothes, fretting, mean, anxiety

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: "Alice, may I ask you a question? Alice? Alice?" Asok: "Gaaa! Am I so unimportant you feel no need to acknowledge my existence???" "Am I totally unimportant?" Catbert: "Hey, it's a bunch of talking clothes!"