Boost Career Comic Strips - Page 19

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

200 Results for Boost Career

View 181 - 190 results for boost career comic strips. Discover the best "Boost Career" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #technology, #unemployment, #replacement, #obsolete, #app, #job, #jobs, #dating, #logic, #business, #relationships

View Transcript

Transcript

Woman: ...and that's what I do for a living. What do you do? Dilbert: I'm building an app that will make your entire industry obsolete. I'm almost done. It looks pretty good. Woman: You're destroying my life! Dilbert: No, I'm only making the app. The app will be destroying your life. Woman: This got awkward, but I'm attracted to smart men, so... would you like to go out this weekend? Dilbert: I don't think that's a good idea. I can't get past your dead-end career.

Dilbert Characters

New Office Layout Will Improve Efficiency

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
New Office Layout Will Improve Efficiency - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #layout, #office, #desk, #work environment, #efficiency, #catch-22, #loophole, #laziness, #excuse

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: Do you really believe that your plan to change the office layout will boost efficiency? Boss: Of course it will. The physical environment makes a huge difference. Wally: Good. I missed all of my deadlines because of our current office layout is bad.

Employees Keep Agreeing

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Employees Keep Agreeing - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #furniture, #office, #arrangement, #laziness, #loophole, #efficiency, #management, #work ethic, #excuse

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I told the employees about our plan to boost productivity by changing the floor layout. Now they claim they can't get their work done because the current floor plan is inefficient. Hoe do I get them to stop agreeing with me? CEO: What do you usually do?

Two Choices For A Project

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Two Choices For A Project - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #question, #trick, #choice, #illusion, #work, #assignment, #power

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Do you want the boring and awful project that is likely to succeed... or the fun project that is certain to fail and take your career with it? Dilbert: You came here to give both of them to me. Boss: Ha ha! You know me.

Wally And Gender Balance

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally And Gender Balance - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #career, #Advice, #gender, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: What did you say to my daughter's class about stem careers? Wally: I told the boys to pursue restaurant work because it's a better way to meet women. Boss: That's messed up. Wally: You said you want gender balance, and now you have it.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #demands, #bosses, #unrealistic, #frustration, #outburst, #catch-22, #travel, #air travel

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Carol, move my flight one hour earlier Friday. Carol: Do you have any idea how hard that would be? I know it sounds easy, but it won't be. Not at this late date. Not with all your pickiness. When I fail, you will think I didn't look hard enough for a new flight. I can't prove a negative, so I will forever suffer your disdain. My career is ruined. Boss: Never mind! Forget it! Why is it so hard to ask you to do anything? Carol: I've been telling people you're stupid, but I'm open to other theories.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #engagement, #review, #shortcut, #honesty, #human resources, #hr, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: How's your employee engagement coming along? Dilbert: I'll make you a deal... I'll pretend I'm happy to be here if you pretend you believe it. Boss: I need more than that. I also want you to pretend you're loyal to the company. Dilbert: I can do that, if you pretend you're interested in my career development. Boss: Can we do all of that without talking? Dilbert: That's the best way. Boss: My job was a lot harder before I figured out all the shortcuts.

Acting Interested In Dilbert

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Acting Interested In Dilbert - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers, #relationships, #human, #humanity, #productivity, #motivation

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I'm supposed to act interested in your well-being to boost your job performance. Dilbert: No thanks. Boss: So... how's your wife, or girlfriend, or same-sex partner, or loneliness? Dilbert: Fine. Boss: Okay, I think that covers it. Dilbert: Look! My productivity is soaring!

Wally Is Either Lazy Or Wise

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Is Either Lazy Or Wise - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #laziness, #genius, #work ethic, #efficiency

View Transcript

Transcript

Woman: Can you do that by end of day? Wally: It would be smarter to wait until we have the final specs. Woman: I can't tell if you're lazy or wise. Wally: It's all the same thing. Woman: This is a weird gray area. Wally: I'm going to take a quick nap to boost my productivity.

One Small Mistake Is Doom

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
One Small Mistake Is Doom - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #nervous, #Advice, #fear, #anxiety, #public speaking, #presentation

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: Do you have any advice for my presentation to the CEO? Dilbert: Sure. If you make one small mistake, your career will be finished. Asok: You just made me nervous and thus doubled my risk of failure. Dilbert: I'm not the one who brought it up.