Business Comic Strips - Page 19

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View 181 - 190 results for business comic strips. Discover the best "Business" comics from Dilbert.com.

Dogbert The Insultant

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Dogbert The Insultant - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dogbert, business, insultant, journal, week, fat, stupid, question, list

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Dogbert the business insultant. Dogbert: Make a journal of everything you do for a week. Then stop doing everything that is on your list because it's making you fat and stupid. The Boss: I have some questions. Dogbert: Add "asks questions" to your list.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Advice, business, criticism, employment, managers & supervisors, office workers

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Asok: I'm thinking of getting a degree in business and moving onto the management track. Is it fun being a boss? Boss: It's the best! I haven't done anything hard since the day I got this job. I mostly just criticize idiots all day long. It's as if the company is paying me to do my hobby. Speaking of pay, my salary is about triple your pay. Asok: Is there any downside? Boss: I had a lot of guilt at first. Asok: It must have been awful. Boss: Yes, it was the longest ten minutes of my life.

Why Are Other Companies Not Doing It

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Why Are Other Companies Not Doing It - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, managers & supervisors, office, company, variables

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the boss to dilbert: if your idea is so good, why aren't other companies doing it? dilbert: because they are in completely different businesses with completely different variables and they don't have a genius like me working for them. the boss: what happens if we try your idea but we do it wrong? dilbert: that's called "business as usual."

The Consultant

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The Consultant - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Advice, boss, business, criticism, managers & supervisors, judgement

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Man: ...And that's what I recommend. Boss: I reject your recommendation because it doesn't match what we already decided to do. Man: That's no way to run a business. Boss: Can you refer me to a less judgy consultant?

What Is The Bra

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 What Is The Bra - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags office workers, business, risk, assessment, mock, teamwork, acronym

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office worker: what's the b.r.a. on that? dilbert: jus? office worker: you look dumb in front of everyone for not knowing b.r.a. stands for business risk assessment. we'll probably mock you behind your back. dilbert talking to the boss: i don't think your teamwork exercises are working.

Show Interest In Employees

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Show Interest In Employees - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags appointment, business, doctor, employees, hate, interest, leave, life, managers & supervisors, prank, question

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alice: i have a doctor appointment. boss: what's wrong with you? alice yelling: that's none of your stinkin' business! stay our of my life! boss to catbert: didn't you advise me to show interest in my employees? catbert: i was pranking you. they hate that.

Dogbert The Auditor

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Dogbert The Auditor - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, business ethics, consultant, company, fee, fraud, crime, report, question

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dogbert: for a reasonable fee, i will audit your company and find any fraud or crime if it exists. dilbert: what's to stop you from taking bribes from the fraudsters and reporting that everything is fine? dogbert: my business model depends on you not asking that kind of question.

The Moron Option

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The Moron Option - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, technology, corporate rule, vendor, accounts receivable, 30 days, pay, payment, exception, moron

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dilbert: our corporate rule is that we won't do business with any vendor who does not give us at least 30 days to pay. dilbert: but we can get the same product for half the price if we go with the vendor who wants payment immediately. should we make an obvious exception here or be morons? boss: i think you're under-valuing the moron options.

Shelves Are Ugly

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Shelves Are Ugly - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, technology, video call, background, attractive, shelf, lawn mower, gym, human, decency, rude, laptop

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Dilbert on video call. voice from laptop: what's that behind you on the shelf? can't you make your background more attractive? dilbert: if we're being that way, who cuts your hair? your lawn mower? voice from laptop: did your gym go out of business? dilbert: i already miss our last shred of human decency.

Frequent Victims Club

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Frequent Victims Club - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, join, frequent, victim, club, beverage, minute, dollar, track, purchases, sell, data, colleagues, stores, customer, servey

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man with red apron: would you like to join our frequent victims club? dilbert: no, i just want to buy this beverage. man: you could save a dollar if you join now. it only takes a minute. dilbert: i don't want you tracking my purchases and selling my data. man: i you don't sign up, my colleagues and i will pester you to do it every time you try to buy something. dilbert: i'll take my business elsewhere! man: no. you won't. because other stores are just as bad as we are. dilbert: i am not a victim! man: tell that to the customer survey i'm about to pester you into doing.