Desiring Engineer Comic Strips - Page 19

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

240 Results for Desiring Engineer

View 181 - 190 results for desiring engineer comic strips. Discover the best "Desiring Engineer" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 17, 2005's comic on:

Tags #desperate venture capitalist, #math grades, #first idea, #mezzanine funding, #cash bag, #students, #education

View Transcript

Transcript

Vijay, the World's Most Desperate Venture Capitalist "You two have good math grades." $ 8 "If you grow up and marry and produce a little engineer baby, I want to invest in its first idea." "Please don't be too late!" "Dude, we're already looking for mezzanine funding."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 17, 2006's comic on:

View Transcript

Transcript

Mordac, the preventer of information services<Br>"You have exceeded your e-mail storage limit!" "To increase your limit, you must get approval from your VP, the CIO, and one nonexistent person to be named later." "I'm thinking either a yeti or a bikini model who is also an engineer." erk!

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 01, 2006's comic on:

View Transcript

Transcript

"...And I work there as an engineer." "Go away. I lost $3,000 when your company restated its earnings." "Tonight I was rejected for corporate malfeasance." "I'll add it to the list."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 13, 2007's comic on:

Tags #product with netork, #run cable through shoebox, #twigs and leaves, #cat 5, #cat 6

View Transcript

Transcript

Sales Engineer I've successfully integrated our product with your network." "It might look as if all I did was run a Cat5 cable through a shoebox full of twigs and leaves." "Is that all you did?" "A Cat6 cable would be overkill."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 03, 2007's comic on:

Tags #job opening, #research and development, #escape the mismanaged, #futility, #current job, #boss has similar idea

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: There's a job opening for an engineer in research and development!" "It's a chance to escape the mismanaged futility of my current job and live the dream!" The Boss: Hey, there's an opening for a new manager of research and development!"

Dilbert Characters

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 13, 2007's comic on:

View Transcript

Transcript

"I don't understand why technical writers get paid less than engineers." "If you were capable of understanding that sort of thing, you'd be an engineer." "This took an ugly turn." "And your dress looks like a tube sock with aspirations."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 02, 2012's comic on:

Tags #engineers, #wages, #hiring engineers, #google, #million per year, #change the world, #average engineer pay, #money

View Transcript

Transcript

Interviewee: Google offered me a million dollars a year. What's your offer? Boss: Work for us and you can change the world! Interviewee: Change it how? Boss: By lowering the average pay of engineers. Hiring engineers

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 09, 2012's comic on:

Tags #hypocrisy, #golden rule, #test your rule, #hypocrite, #engineer, #hatred, #hypocricy, #manipulate, #engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: We can make this a great place to work by following the golden rule. Treat others as you would want them to treat you. Dilbert: That's dumb. Boss: It's not dumb! Dilbert: Let's test your rule. Would you like it if someone gave you a hundred dollars? Boss: Yes. Dilbert: Okay. So give me a hundred dollars. Or else forever live as a hypocrite who doesn't follow his own rule. Wally: Snork! Alice: Snork! Boss: I hate your engineering guts!!! Dilbert: At least you're making sense now.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 04, 2013's comic on:

Tags #online (web) news, #news manufaturer, #online media, #misleading headlines, #snarky bow, #news naturally, #engineer, #news magic, #engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: I got a job as a news manufacturer for an online media company. I quote people out of context, add misleading headlines and tie it all up with a snarky bow. Dilbert: I thought the news occurred naturally. Dogbert: "Entineer Thinks News is Magic."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 17, 2013's comic on:

Tags #angel, #fix things, #granted wishes, #know it all, #needy, #questions, #things gone wrong, #workers, #angel of competence

View Transcript

Transcript

Angel: I am the angel of competence. I have come to mark you as an engineer turn around, Dilbert: So, its like an honor? Angel: Sure, if that makes you feel better. The Boss: Can you show me how to set ups my wireless router at home? Tina: My phone keeps freezing up, can you look at it? Ted: How long should I barbecue trick-tip? Man: The pilot lightly on my water heater is out, How do you fix cracks in a driveway? what exactly does iCloud do? GAAA!!! Dilbert: I need to talk to the angel of competence have you seen him? Wally: He died in my cubicle, Thats all Im saying.