Ever Comic Strips - Page 19

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View 181 - 190 results for ever comic strips. Discover the best "Ever" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #employee of the month, #award, #don't know my job, #never listen, #boss

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"The employee of the month is Tina, for all of the um...various work that she does." "You have stripped this award of its meaning by showing that you don't even know what my job is." "It's as if you've never listened to anything I've ever said." "You're welcome!"

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I bought you a bumper sticker that says you give money to police charities. "Now you can ignore traffic laws with total impunity." "This is the greatest bumper sticker ever."

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Did you ever come to work on Monday and realize that you forgot how to do your job? "Only a total moron would forget over the weekend how to do his job." "O-o-okay. I'm starting to remember who you two are."

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"Hi everyone. Sorry I'm late." "I have the worst case of jet lag ever. I'm still a baby in this time zone." "I don't think it works that way." "Hey, I just got a crazy idea."

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The Sales Call "I brought my egghead to talk to your egghead while you and I make out." "Our web services employ XML, Soap and WSDL to achieve interoperable HTTP modules." Mmm mmm mmm "Do you ever think we might be in the wrong jobs?" "I'm not going to kiss you." Mmm mmm

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #purpose in life, #despair, #purpose is drinking coffee, #urinal

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"Wally, do you ever wonder about your purpose in life?" "My purpose is to transport huge quantities of coffee from the coffee maker to a urinal." "Suddenly I am filled with despair." "Hey, while you're up..."

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Job Interview "We need someone who can solve the biggest engineering problem we have ever encountered." "Just distribute the power supply across both functions and double the fan size." "Thanks. If I need anything else, I'll interview you again."

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Today I had a choice of doing something important that no one would ever realize... "...Or doing something useless that would look like an accomplishment." "So I attended meetings until I could no longer appreciate the difference." "Keep up the good work."

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"Hey, I'm having a Schadenfreude party. Would you like to come?" "Sure! I don't know what Schadenfreude means, but it sounds fun." "Too bad you're not invited, loser." "Ouch." "Best party ever."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #serial personal problems, #in love, #medical school cadaver, #bad decisons, #acting cold, #boyfriend acting cold

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Nancy, the employee with serious personal problems Nancy: "I'm in love with a medical school cadaver." Alice: "Do you ever think that maybe your personal problems are caused by your own bad decisions?" Nancy: "How's it my fault that my boyfriend is acting cold?"