Flap Arms Comic Strips - Page 19

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195 Results for Flap Arms

View 181 - 190 results for flap arms comic strips. Discover the best "Flap Arms" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 16, 2003's comic on:


Tags #numbing, #cubicle, #emplyess been numbs, #pain of working, #quite beautiful, #happy place

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Dilbert enters Wally's cubicle and asks, "Do you want to watch a numbing?" Wally responds, "You know I do!" Dilbert and Wally are walking. Wally asks, "Where is it?" Dilbert responds, "Cubicle 15950." Alice comes out of her cubicle and asks, "Are you going to the numbing?" Wally responds, "You know we are!" Wally, Alice, and Dilbert approach Asok. Asok asks, "What is a numbing?" Wally responds, "It's the moment that an employee's brain numbs to the pain of working here." Wally says, "It's actually quite beautiful." Dilbert adds, "No two are alike." A coworker sits at his computer. He exclaims, "I can't take this anymore!! Gaa!! Gaa!!" He pauses and then says, "Ooh." He takes another pause and then asks, "What the...?" The coworker is stiff with his arms out. Wally, Alice, Dilbert, and Asok watch from over the cubicle wall. Asok looks horrified. Dilbert says, "It's okay - he's in a happy place now."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 01, 2003's comic on:


Tags #revenue projections, #email, #reading email, #song, #multi task, #stupid nbinder, #slow down, #comprehend, #reading goes quickly

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Alice enters Bob's office and asks, "Bob, can I have your revenue projections?" Bob replies, "No. I'm reading my e-mail. I can't do two things at once." Bob turns and says, "But I offer you this song instead." Bob dances and sings, "Ooh-waa-waa! I'm single-task Bob. I'm single-task Bob." Bob continues dancing and singing, "I can't multitask. I can only do one job." Alice yells, "Just give me the stupid binder that on your desk!!" Bob sits back down with his arms on his hips and says, "Sure. And I guess my e- mail can just read itself, right?" Once Alice leaves, Bob says to himself, "Reading goes quickly when you don't slow down to comprehend."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 12, 2002's comic on:


Tags #lunch, #outrage, #stealing free time, #wind beneath my wings, #work during lunch, #working lunch

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Wally is in his cubicle. Asok approaches and exclaims, "This is an outrage!" Wally asks, "What?" Asok raises his arms and yells, "The so-called 'Working Lunch' tomorrow!" Asok continues, "They're stealing the only free time I have during the day!" Asok continues, "They give us some lousy sandwiches and expect us to work during lunch! Bah!" Asok exclaims, "IS NOTHING SACRED?!!" Asok asks Wally, "Why doesn't this bother you?" Wally responds, "I plan to eat their sandwiches and go to lunch after the meeting." Asok halts and says, "I... I can actually feel the wind beneath my wings!" Wally responds, "Sorry."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 21, 2002's comic on:


Tags #highlight, #staff meeting, #wally report, #hair styled, #usual, #hair stylist, #used nose trimmer, #seemed right, #salon brawl

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Wally addresses a meeting, "Now for the highlight of the staff meeting: The Wally Report." Wally continues, "Yesterday I was getting my hair styled as usual." Wally continues, "But this time I forgot to remove my glasses, and what I saw was disturbing." Wally continues, "The stylist was using a nose-hair trimmer to cut my hair!" Wally continues, "I protested. But she said she's been doing my hair that way for years." Wally continues, "She said it just, 'seemed right.'" Wally raises his arms and exclaims, "Tempers flared. I threw some hair gel. A salon brawl broke out!" The Boss asks, "Don't we use the same stylist?" Wally replies, "That would explain why she has a plunger."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 07, 2001's comic on:


Tags #battery technology, #question motives, #transformation, #lying, #avoid work, #manual labor

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Dilbert says to a female co-worker, "No known battery technology can handle this load and be this size." The female co-worker folds her arms as Dilbert says, "That's not what you wanted to hear." The female co-worker grimaces as Dilbert says, "So your mind will erase what I said..." Dilbert continues, "... And replace the memory with something totally ridiculous so you can question my motives." The female co-worker grunts, "Gaah!" Dilbert thinks, "The transformation is complete." The female co-worker exclaims, "How can you say there's no such thing as a battery?!" The female co-worker berates Dilbert, "You're lying to avoid work! I'm going to talk to your boss!" Dilbert says to Dogbert, "Lately, the only thing keeping me from being a serial killer is my distaste for manual labor." Dogbert says, "You're preaching to the choir."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 25, 2001's comic on:


Tags #achieve goal, #analyze incoming email, #automate, #excellent plan, #online tech, #software, #throw rocks, #useful repsonse, #wear ski masks, #sarcas, #supportiveness, #engineering

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The Boss says to Dilbert, "I have an idea!" The Boss continues, "We'll automate our online tech support." The Boss says to Dilbert, "Our software will analyze incoming e-mail and send responses based on key words!" Dilbert, his tie flying up, says to The Boss, "That's an excellent plan." The Boss responds, "I know." Dilbert says, "But what about the one percent of our customers who actually get a useful response?" Dilbert says to The Boss, "Maybe we could wear ski masks and throw rocks at their houses." Dilbert says, "Then we could achieve our goal of 100% customer dissatisfaction! Whoo hoo!" Dilbert throws his arms up in the air as The Boss watches him. Dilbert thinks to himself, "Maybe I should work someplace where sarcasm and supportiveness are different things."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 01, 2001's comic on:


Tags #hardening, #given more work, #central nervous system, #suddenly stiff, #ripening asok, #apathy cream, #air hole

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The Boss says to Catbert, "Would you like to join me for a hardening?" Catbert asks, "What's that?" The Boss explains, "A hardening is when an employee is given more work than his central nervous system can handle." The Boss holds his arms out stiffly and says, "His whole body suddenly goes stiff." Catbert says, "I'm in." The Boss says, "I've been ripening Asok all month." Catbert says, "Purrr purrr." The Boss and Catbert look at Asok as he sits as his computer and thinks to himself, "So much work... no time." The Boss, handing Asok a piece of paper, says, "Asok, I have another assignment for you." Asok responds, "Gaaa!!!" Wally and Dilbert peer over Asok's cubicle. Wally says, "I heard a hardening. Get the Apathy Cream." A solid mask of Apathy Cream has been applied to Asok's face. Wally says, "He'll be okay when the apathy sinks in." Dilbert says, "We forgot the air hole."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 13, 2001's comic on:


Tags #carol, #connections in war zones, #flights, #good rating, #humilation, #parkside strangler, #phone messages, #press conference, #secretary, #vague objectives, #complaining

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Carol sits across from the Boss, who says, "Carol, your overall performance rating is 'good.'" Carol screams, "AAAG! Good is bad! What did I do to deserve this humiliation?" The Boss replies, "Well, you gave me six hundred phone messages that said, 'It might have been Bob.'" Carol furiously replies, "You can't tell me that none of them were from a Bob." The Boss continues, "You arranged for all of my flights to have connections in war zones." Carol throws up her arms and says, "Excuse me for trying to save the company some money." The Boss says, "You held a press conference to announce that I was the Parkside Strangler." Later, Carol tells Wally, "And he refuses to take any responsibility for giving me vague objectives."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 10, 2001's comic on:


Tags #defective co workers, #hall of fame, #won't work, #components, #too close, #overheat, #explain back, #moron, #sunflower seed, #mimics, #bird mimics

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Dilbert sits across from Parrot Man and says, "Your idea won't work. The components are too close. They will overheat." Parrot Man leans back and says, "Let me explain something to you, Dilbert." Parrot Man points to a piece of paper and continues, "These components will overheat. They are much too close." Dilbert is angry as Parrot Man goes on, explaining, "The reasons involve heat and something I call 'proximity'" Dilbert puts his hands to his head and screams, "GAAA!!!" Parrot Man says, "I don't have time to explain all the details." Dilbert throws his hands up and yells, "You take everything I say and repeat it back to me like I'm a moron!!" Parrot Man suddenly stands up with his arms outstretched in a trance-like state and says, "Excuse me, but I hear a clicking sound and feel compelled to eat a sunflower seed."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 24, 2001's comic on:


Tags #email down, #ancients do, #combustible material, #coworker scared, #hold me, #entire life, #hug, #bad hug, #have coffee, #drop off

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Dilbert sits in front of his computer. He screams, "GAAA!! E-mail is down!" Dilbert thinks to himself, "Don't panic...think...how would the ancients handle this?" Dilbert stands at the entrance to his cubicle and thinks, "I've got combustible materials...I can start some sort of fire." Susan walks into Dilbert's cubicle and says, "E-mail is down...Hold me." Dilbert allows Susan to hug him, holding his arms out ahead of him. He thinks, "I'll keep my arms straight out so I don't seem too eager." Dilbert continues thinking, while Susan hugs him, "This may be the least satisfying hug of my entire life." Wally walks into the cubicle and says, "E-mail is working again." Carol asks, "So, would you like to have some coffee?" Dilbert answers, "Sure! I'll be doing my e-mail. Just drop it off."