Highest Performance Rating Comic Strips - Page 19

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

199 Results for Highest Performance Rating

View 181 - 190 results for highest performance rating comic strips. Discover the best "Highest Performance Rating" comics from Dilbert.com.

The Cause Of Human Motivation

Thank you for voting.
The Cause Of Human Motivation - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 31, 2015's comic on:


Tags #motivation, #cause and effect, #trick, #deception, #logic, #laziness, #work ethic

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: Do you believe human motivation is the product of a person's genes or the environment? Boss: Both. Duh. Anyway, I asked you here to discuss your terrible job performance. Wally: We just did. You said it isn't my fault.

Bring Me Solutions

Thank you for voting.
Bring Me Solutions - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 30, 2016's comic on:


Tags #laziness, #work ethic, #managers, #useless, #double standard, #guest artist, #donna oatney

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Don't bring me problems. Bring me solutions! Dilbert: That would make you more useless than you already are. Boss: I also need you to fill out your own performance evaluation.

Being More Honest

Thank you for voting.
Being More Honest - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 16, 2016's comic on:


Tags #marketing, #advertising, #honesty, #cover-up, #performance, #shortcoming, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: My tests show we underperform our competition on nine out of eleven dimensions. Boss: Give the two good ones to Marketing. We can't be more honest than that. Dilbert: I'm almost certain we can. Boss: No, we really can't.

Entitled Employee Buys A Car

Thank you for voting.
Entitled Employee Buys A Car - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 07, 2016's comic on:


Tags #entitled, #entitlement, #millennials, #work ethic, #lazy, #consumerism

View Transcript

Transcript

The Entitled Employee. Man: I need a raise because I bought a luxury car. Boss: Your pay is based on your performance, not your personal expenses. Man: You leave me no choice but to keep the car and not pay for it. Boss: Tell them you deserve it.

A System For Transferring Mistakes

Thank you for voting.
A System For Transferring Mistakes - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 17, 2016's comic on:


Tags #blame, #mistake, #boss, #review, #human resources, #revenge, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Make sure we get all of the cost savings that our vendor promised with our new software. Dilbert: Those savings are not real. The vendor lied to you because you know nothing about technology. Boss: If only I had some way to turn my mistake into his mistake. Catbert: It's called a performance review.

Accused Of Forgery

Thank you for voting.
Accused Of Forgery - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 10, 2016's comic on:


Tags #motivation, #performance, #forgery, #pessimism, #giving up, #resistance

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: You stand accused of forging an expense approval from the head of Marketing. Your malfeasance caused the project to finish on time and under budget. Next time, just give up and lose hope like everyone else. Dilbert: Will do.

Tina's Soul Will Live On

Thank you for voting.
Tina's Soul Will Live On - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 15, 2016's comic on:


Tags #reincarnation, #afterlife, #faith, #soul

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina: I hate my job, but I'm looking forward to my afterlife. Dilbert: Are you hearing good things about decomposing? Tina: My soul will live forever. Wally: Good luck. I lost mine at my first performance review.

Acting Interested In Dilbert

Thank you for voting.
Acting Interested In Dilbert - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 03, 2016's comic on:


Tags #managers, #relationships, #human, #humanity, #productivity, #motivation

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I'm supposed to act interested in your well-being to boost your job performance. Dilbert: No thanks. Boss: So... how's your wife, or girlfriend, or same-sex partner, or loneliness? Dilbert: Fine. Boss: Okay, I think that covers it. Dilbert: Look! My productivity is soaring!

Ted Gets A New Phone

Thank you for voting.
Ted Gets A New Phone - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 06, 2016's comic on:


Tags #punishment, #reward, #gift, #samsung, #explosion, #battery

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Congratulations, Ted, your job performance has earned you a new mobile phone. Ted: Isn't this the model that has the exploding battery problem? Boss: Your job performance wasn't good either.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 12, 2017's comic on:


Tags #wages, #salary, #secret, #anger, #compensation, #money, #unfair

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: You left a speadsheet with everyone salary in the copier. Boss: Oops. Catbert: By now, every employee has seen it. Boss: Should I be worried that it will lower morale? Catbert: No, I wouldn't worry about that. I would worry about heads exploding when they find out Wally has the highest pay in the department. Noise: Pow!!! Catbert: It's going to be a long week. Boss: Would you mind kicking that angry eyeball into the trash?