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View 181 - 190 results for how-to comic strips. Discover the best "How To" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, phone call, wheeze, headache, phone

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Dilbert, who is wearing his bathrobe, says into the telephone, "That's right . . . cough-cough! . . . I won't be in to work . . . cough-wheeze-cough . . ." Dilbert continues, "Bad cold? Well, no, actually I have a bad headache . . ." Dilbert continues, "But I don't know how to make a headache sound over the phone."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, Dogbert, invention, logical, creative, engineer

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Dilbert sits at a table examining a device. Dilbert says, "I'm afraid I'll never figure out how to make my invention work." Dogbert says, "You are too logical. Use the right side of your brain." Dilbert says, "Hmm . . . Yes, I must call on my creative side . . ." Dilbert puts the gadget on the table, hangs his head and says, "Now it doesn't work AND I want to cry."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, Dogbert, sleep, grape, jelly, remedies

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Dilbert, who is wearing his bathrobe, says, "Dogbert, I can't sleep . . . Do you know any folk remedies?" Dogbert replies, "I recommend spreading grape jelly on your torso and slapping your forehead against an overripe cantaloupe." Dogbert sits on the hassock watching television. He hears slapping in the other room and thinks, "This must be how all folk remedies get started."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, Dogbert, tattoo, shoulder, tasteful, timeless, kick me

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Dilbert says to Dogbert, "I'm thinking of getting a tattoo." Dilbert continues, "On my shoulder . . . Something tasteful yet timeless. I don't want to regret it later." Dilbert asks, "Any suggestions?" Dogbert replies, "How about 'Kick me?'"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, Dogbert, salad, bar, joint, table, window, bathe, towellettes

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Dilbert sits at his desk assembling a gadget. Dogbert says, "Good news: the 'all-you-can-eat" salad joint just decided to stay open twenty-four hours a day!" Dogbert continues, "We can get a table by the window and live there for the rest of our lives - for only $5.95 apiece!" Dilbert asks, "How would we bathe?" Dogbert replies, "They have little 'moist towelettes.'"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags substitute teacher, Dilbert, Dogbert, powerless, marble, statue, bad, biggest, flock, pigeons, animals, animal behavior

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Dilbert asks Dogbert, "How was your first day as a substitute school teacher?" Dogbert replies, "Imagine feeling completely powerless . . . Like a marble statue . . ." Dilbert says, "Gosh . . . That sounds pretty bad." Dogbert says, "Now imagine the biggest flock of pigeons you ever saw . . ."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, Dogbert, hair, clumps, huge

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Dilbert stands in front of the bathroom mirror combing his hair. Dilbert says to Dogbert, "I think I'm losing my hair." Dogbert replies, "Don't be silly. You aren't losing your hair." Dilbert says, "I'm not? Oh, good." Dogbert points to the floor and says, "How could you possibly lose these huge clumps . . ."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags biblical events, Dogbert, Dilbert, eve, date, love, woman, played

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Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert sits on the hassock. Dilbert tells Dogbert, ". . . And women have always played hard to get . . ." The caption says, "Dilbert and Eve." Dilbert and Eve stand behind a bush. Dilbert asks, "Then how about a date next year?" Eve replies, "I'd love to, but I don't have a thing to wear." Both of them are naked.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, Dogbert, arm chair, doctor, life, death, paint, house

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Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert sits on the hassock. Dilbert tells Dogbert, ". . . And the doctor gave me just a year to live." Dilbert continues, "I'm sorry, little guy . . . I don't know how you'll manage without me." Dogbert asks, "Would it be too much trouble to paint the house before you go?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, Dogbert, so-called, unwritten rules, porcupines, balloon store

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Dilbert and Dogbert sit at the desk. Dogbert says, "I've decided to write down all of the so-called 'unwritten rules.'" Dogbert looks at a piece of paper and says, "So far I have 'Don't phone after ten p.m.' and . . . Uh . . ." Dilbert asks, "That's it?" Dogbert asks, "How about 'Don't throw porcupines in a balloon store?'"