Like Puppet Comic Strips - Page 19

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Like Puppet

View 181 - 190 results for like puppet comic strips. Discover the best "Like Puppet" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 19, 2012's comic on:


Tags #charge customers, #free features, #customers, #abusive realtionship, #move in direction, #put up with

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: We've decided to charge customers for features they currently get for free. Dilbert: Um... Have you considered how our customers might react? Boss: Obviously. Wally: I'd like to hear how that reasoning process went. Boss: Fine. Customers love us and they will put up with anything we dish out. Wally: So... It's sort of an abusive relationship? Boss: Not yet, but we're trying to move in that direction.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 05, 2012's comic on:


Tags #sales personnel, #pretend, #helpful, #awkwardly upsell, #listening, #refrigerator, #ice

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert is shopping. A salesman approaches him and says "Do you mind if I pretend to be helpful while I awkwardly try to upsell you?" Dilbert replies "Nope. Do you mind if I pretend to be listening while I think about other things?" "Cool," says the salesman. Dilbert thinks to himself "I'm glad I don't have your job." The salesman asks him "How old is your refrigerator? Do you like ice?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 06, 2012's comic on:


Tags #copyright & trademark, #earmuffs for oysters, #insane, #lawsuit monkey, #lawyer, #legal

View Transcript

Transcript

Salesman: Do you mind if I pretend to be helpful while I awkwardly try to upsell you? Dilbert: Nope. Do you mind if I pretend to be listening while I think about other things? Salesman: Cool. Dilbert: I'm glad I don't have your job. Salesman: How old is your refrigerator? Do you like ice?

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 10, 2012's comic on:


Tags #dating, #confident men, #phonies, #interest, #Opinion, #relationships

View Transcript

Transcript

Woman: I like men who are confident in any situation. Dilbert: Within that subset of men, do you prefer the phonies or the ones who are too dumb to know when they shouldn't be confident? Dogbert: What went wrong this time? Dilbert: I showed interest in her opinion.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 12, 2012's comic on:


Tags #engineers, #squirming, #team players, #thwart inaction

View Transcript

Transcript

Co-worker: Why are all the engineers in this meeting squirming when I talk? Did your boss order you to act like team players during this meeting and later thwart me by inaction? Answer me!

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 14, 2012's comic on:


Tags #new product development, #stock buy back, #stock market, #dream, #using capitol, #money

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: I'm canceling all of our new product development and using the capital for a stock buy-back. Dilbert: This is a dream come true because I always wanted to be like you. CEO: In what way are you... Dilbert: Yay! I'm worthless!

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 20, 2012's comic on:


Tags #fast forward, #phone, #playing, #time machine, #time travel

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: My phone is like a time machine. I can fast-forward through the boring parts of life by playing with it. Dogbert: Hand it over. Time flies when I'm not having fun.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 23, 2012's comic on:


Tags #quarreling, #nemesis, #notoriously ineffective, #prime the pump, #retired

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: My old nemesis retired. Would you like to be my new nemesis? Coworker: Why me? Dilbert: You're notoriously ineffective. That's the best kind of nemesis to have. [thinks to himself] That should prime the pump. Coworker: I will thwart you a new one!

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 30, 2012's comic on:


Tags #dieting & weight control, #funerals, #bereavement policy, #days off, #dies young, #grocery shop, #conflict

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol: I've been reading our bereavement policy and I found a problem. I get three days off if my husband eats nothing but unhealthy food and dies young. And I'm the one who does our grocery shopping. Boss: Sounds like a conflict of interest. Carol: I'm glad I'm not the only one who sees it.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 31, 2012's comic on:


Tags #app store, #created app, #dream killer, #first name, #free apps, #madonna, #sell a million, #mother, #Family

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I spent four months creating this app, mom. I think I can sell a million of them for $3.99. Mom: I saw seven apps just like this in the app store and five of them were free. Dilbert: Thanks for the feedback, dream-killer. Mom: Have you ever thought of just using your first name, like Madonna?