Low Unemployment Rate Comic Strips - Page 19

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

209 Results for Low Unemployment Rate

View 181 - 190 results for low unemployment rate comic strips. Discover the best "Low Unemployment Rate" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #bossify, #deception, #fund ideas, #genius, #ideas, #customer support, #software, #budget approval, #delay projects, #low priority, #wise, #funding, #engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: You had a great idea bout upgrading our customer support software. Boss: I don't remember having that idea. Dilbert: It was genius. Boss: Well, that does sound like something I would suggest. Dilbert: We'll need budget approval, but that should be no problem for you. Boss: Duh. Obviously I'll fund my idea. It's genius. Dilbert: I'll need to delay my other project, but, as you said, those are lower priorities. Boss: I said that? Dilbert: It was very wise of you. Alice: How did you get funding for your idea? Dilbert: I had to bossify it.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #low standards, #managers, #standards, #micro manage, #furniture, #communicates, #plan, #temporary boss

View Transcript

Transcript

Temporary Robot Boss. Robot: I have come to micromanage you. But only until I replace you with a robot and turn you into furniture. Dilbert: On the plus side, he has a plan and he communicates well.

Dilbert Does Online Dating

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dilbert Does Online Dating - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dating, #internet dating, #low standards, #online dating, #triple threat, #six feet tall, #hair, #height, #job, #business, #relationships

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I got 9,752 responses on this dating site and I haven't even completed my profile. All I said is that I'm six feet tall, I have hair and a job. Meanwhile, everywhere: Women: Hair... height... job! Triple threat!

Tube Clothing At The Bar

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Tube Clothing At The Bar - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #clothing, #dating, #jobs, #low standards, #tube clothes, #values substance, #employment, #relationships

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I noticed you eyeing my tube clothes. You're thinking I am a man who values substance over style and it turns you on. Woman: No, I'm thinking I'll date anything that has a job. Dilbert: I have one of those!

Dilbert Meets The Mom

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dilbert Meets The Mom - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dating, #low standards, #meeting people, #parents, #mother, #efficiency, #ebola, #shake hands, #Family, #relationships

View Transcript

Transcript

Woman: Mom, this my date, Dilbert. He only wears tube clothes. Dilbert: For the efficiency. Whoa! Before I touch that paw, have you been to any Ebola hot spots lately? Woman: He has a job. Dilbert: My time has come!

Health Sensor Predictes Death

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Health Sensor Predictes Death - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #invention, #success, #technology, #health monitor, #fitbit, #smart watch, #heart, #heart rate, #death, #medical

View Transcript

Transcript

Ted: The health sensors you built into our smart watch prototype aren't working. According to your stupid sensors, my heart is going to stop beating in... Dilbert: Yay me!

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business ethics, #dying, #death, #health, #health tracker, #heart rate monitor, #ads, #scare, #fitbit, #smart watch, #medical

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: The health sensors and predictive algorithms you built into our smart watch are too good. People are freaked out because it sends alerts to their phones when they have five minutes left to live. Dilbert: Isn't that useful? Boss: It was, until we started sending paid ads as alerts.

Wally Follows His Passion

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Follows His Passion - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #passion, #motivation, #Advice, #misunderstand, #misunderstanding, #attraction, #follow, #following

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: I'm running low on motivation. What can you do for me? Boss: Follow your passion. Woman: Stop following me. Wally: Dream-killer.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #technology, #unemployment, #replacement, #obsolete, #app, #job, #jobs, #dating, #logic, #business, #relationships

View Transcript

Transcript

Woman: ...and that's what I do for a living. What do you do? Dilbert: I'm building an app that will make your entire industry obsolete. I'm almost done. It looks pretty good. Woman: You're destroying my life! Dilbert: No, I'm only making the app. The app will be destroying your life. Woman: This got awkward, but I'm attracted to smart men, so... would you like to go out this weekend? Dilbert: I don't think that's a good idea. I can't get past your dead-end career.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #watch, #technology, #signal, #symbol, #time, #punctual, #fitbit, #wearable tech, #outdated, #change

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: I used to enjoy pointing to my watch and mocking people for being late. But it isn't as fun as it used to be. Dilbert: Is your step count low again?