Office Equipment Comic Strips - Page 19
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1000 Results for Office Equipment
View 181 - 190 results for office equipment comic strips. Discover the best "Office Equipment" comics from Dilbert.com.
Thursday July 07,
2011
Tags office workers, hard work, lateral promotion, new job, old job, money involved, saving it
Transcript
Boss: I'd like to reward you for your hard work by giving you a lateral promotion. I was going to hire from the outside, but I realized I can make you do the new job plus your old one. Dilbert: Is money involved? Boss: Yes! I'm saving a ton of it!
Wednesday July 27,
2011
Tags office workers, collegue, associate, teammate, subordinate, awkward
Transcript
Boss: And this is Carol. She's my... Carol: Colleague? Boss: No. Carol: Associate? Boss: No. Carol: Teammate? Boss: No. I was going to say "subordinate," but now it's awkward.
Friday July 29,
2011
Tags exercise & fitness, office workers, engineers, telomeres, value work, company gym, slacker trap
Transcript
Boss: We're looking for engineers with short telomeres for their age. That's an indication that you value work above exercise. Man: But you have a company gym. Boss: That's our slacker trap!
Saturday July 30,
2011
Tags exercise & fitness, office workers, using company gym, 60 hrs week, paying for itself
Transcript
Boss: Ted, I can't give you a raise because you've been using the company gym during work hours. Ted: I work sixty hours a week! Why did we build a new gym if I'm not supped to use it?? Boss: You were right. That gym is totally paying for itself.
Sunday July 24,
2011
Tags gadgets, scientific equipment, data center, lights out, eliminate problems, moving cables, power cords, ruining everything, speakerphone, humans are germs, science
Transcript
Voice: The data center is evolving into a "lights out" operation. Employees will no longer be allowed in the data center. We hope to eliminate all of the problems that humans cause by moving cables, unplugging power cords, and ruining everything with their dirt and static. Dilbert: He makes it sound as if the data center is alive and we humans are nothing but germs. Alice: By the way, who called this meeting and who's on the speakerphone? Dilbert: Are you... the data center? Noise: CLICK. Dilbert: I have a bad feeling about this.
Tuesday September 06,
2011
Tags office workers, job interview, work long hours, 14 hour days, bad descions, bad decision maker, good communicator
Transcript
Interview Alice: Can you work long hours if needed? Man: Yes. It's normal for me to work 14 hours a day. Alice: Research shows that working long hours causes people to make bad decisions. So we know you're a bad decision maker. Are you a good communicator? Man: Is the right answer "no"?
Wednesday October 12,
2011
Tags employees, office workers, worked at home, work tonight, leaving early, work late, business
Transcript
Boss: Leaving early? Dilbert: If you count the two hours I worked at home when I woke up, and the two hours I'll work tonight you'll come out way ahead today. Boss: How will I come out if you do all of that plus work late here?
Sunday November 13,
2011
Tags engineers, inventions, bend light, around obkject, cloak of invisibility, make billions, selling to military, tricked, ploy, sneaky, empty looking chair
Transcript
Wally: I discovered a way to bend light around an object to form a cloak of invisibility. We'll make billions selling it to the military. I'll be testing it over the next several months. You'll know it's working if you never see me in the office. During that time, don't sit in any empty-looking chairs unless you first shout my name and clap. WHAT'S THAT OVER THERE?! Boss: What? I don't see anything. Wally; How do you like it so far?
Saturday November 26,
2011
Tags deception, office workers, planning, assignments, entre schedule, next assignment
Transcript
Wally: I spent all of last week planning how to get everything done this week. Boss: Add one more thing. Wally: Okay, but I'll need to replan my entire schedule. Boss: How long will that take? Wally: Until you give me the next assignment.
Wednesday November 30,
2011
Tags employees, secretaries (office), manually entered data, entire weekend, die monster!, business
Transcript
Carol: I manually entered all of the employee data you wanted. It took the entire weekend. Boss: I probably should have told you I no longer need it. Carol: Die! Die! Die! You inconsiderate monster! Boss: Did you really enter all of the data? Carol: Maybe. Let's call it a tie.


