On Line Course Comic Strips - Page 19

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270 Results for On Line Course

View 181 - 190 results for on line course comic strips. Discover the best "On Line Course" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags description, projected course, impossible, uncertainty principle, understand project, know cost

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"I need a description of your project and its projected cost." "That's impossible." "The project uncertainty principle says that if you understand a project, you won't know its cost, and vice versa." "You just made that up." "That doesn't make it wrong."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags engineers, jobs, want job your job, falling out of trees, dime a dozen, intimidation, job on line, idle threats

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The Boss: The woods are full of people who want your job. These days you can't shake a tree without three or four engineers falling out. Id love to stay and chat but I need to go motivate the other headcounts.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags airport security, epidural layer, plastic bag, federal crime, airport tsa, hassle, terrorists, airlines, bins, line, xrays

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Airport Security Please remove your jacket and shoes Please remove your epidermal layer and put it in a plastic bag. It is a federal crime to mention the movies "Ishtar" "Glitter" or "Gigli"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags make changes, no credibility, idiots, phone call, boss offcie

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Dilbert: "I told Matthew that there was no way we could make those changes." "Ring." The Boss: "Hi, Matthew!... Yes, of course we can make those changes; we're not idiots! Ha ha!!" Dilbert: "He says you have no credibility."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags manipulate, lying, Advice, mayo clinic, victim to source

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Dogbert: "You can manipulate people by lying about what other people said." "If your victim goes to the source and discovers your treachery, say, of course he tells you that." Dilbert: "Your advice doesn't sound healthy." Dogbert: "That's not what the Mayo Clinic said."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags online study class, sexual harrasmnet, don't have one, happy actors

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Wally: "I'm about halfway finished with the online studay class on sexual harassment." The Boss: "Wally, we don't have an online study course on sexual harassment." Wally: "THat would explain why all the actors seemed so happy."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags online ereume, older chubby men, key words, married men, job offers, cousin, Advice, one line job hunting

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"I wasn't getting any responses to my online resume until I inserted some key words." "I said I'm strangely attracted to older, chubby, married men with coffee-stained teeth." "That is wrong on so many levels." "Explain that to my six thousand job offers."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags pointy hired boss, phone, email, pager, electronic attempts, ruin productivity, send in ground trrops, return some calls

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Carol shows up in Dilbert's cubicle wearing a backpack and holding a staff. Carol says, "The pointy-haired boss wants to see you." Carol says, "He tried to reach you by phone, e-mail and pager." Carol says, "But you resisted his electronic attempts to ruin your productivity." Carol says, "so he decided to send in the ground troops." Carol pionts the staff at Dilbert and says, "Don't make me use this!" Dilbert stand in the boss' office. the boss says, "Could you wait outside while I return some phone calls?" Wally and Alice stand in line. Wally says, "Get to the back of the line." Dilbert stands behind three random people. Dilbert says, "Does everyone want to have a conversation?" The man in front of Dilbert says, "I have a magazine."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags bloated, lethargic, highly recommended, internet, bought on line, safe, technology

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Dilbert: "Wally, I've noticed that you seem bloated and lethargic.'<Br>"I prescribe these pills. The come highly recommended."<Br>"I know they're safe because I bought them on the internet."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags marketing campiagn, free samples, worked, decline, intelligence, conclusion, marketing, business

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Dilbert: "My marketing plan involved giving free samples of our cruddy product to celebrity lookalikes." "The fact that it worked caused a steep decline in my respect for the intelligence of people." "In conclusion, there's a fine line between marketing and hating."