Over Priced Harware Comic Strips - Page 19
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View 181 - 190 results for over priced harware comic strips. Discover the best "Over Priced Harware" comics from Dilbert.com.
Share March 03, 1995's comic on:
The Boss holds a syringe. He says to Dilbert, "Drop your trousers and turn around. I need a DNA sample." Dilbert bends over looking angry. As draws Dilbert's blood, the Boss says, "We're scanning for any fatal genetic problems that could hurt productivity." Dilbert sits at his desk. The Boss enters holding the test results and says, "Uh . . . we decided to move your project deadline up a week." Dilbert's hair stands up straight.
Share March 08, 1995's comic on:
The Boss peers into Dilbert's cubicle and asks, "Are you working twice as fast since I doubled your staff?" Dilbert sits at his desk with Barry. He answers, "I've coded twelve modules . . . Barry is on a journey of discovery where he will find out my mouse is not a microphone." Speaking into the mouse, Barry says, "Hello! Anybody!" Back in his office, the Boss sits in front of the computer contemplating his mouse. He says, "That would explain why nobody ever comments on my announcements over the P.A. system."
Share March 16, 1995's comic on:
Dogbert stands on a podium addressing a crowd of office workers, including Dilbert, Wally and Alice. Dogbert says, "As new owner of this company I hereby ban all meetings over one hour. The dress code is casual. Status reports are optional!" Dogbert continues, "No more mission statements or 'visions.' Our motto is 'have fun, satisfy customers, make money.'" Dilbert sleeps in his chair. In Dilbert's dream, Dogbert concludes his speech to the employees, "And stock options for all." Outside Dilbert's cubicle, Dogbert says to the Boss, "We can fit five more in this cubicle if we remove the chair."
Share March 30, 1995's comic on:
Liz sits at her computer and Dilbert looks over her shoulder. Liz says, "I built a spreadsheet to compare our relative qualities. I'm afraid I'm twenty percent too good for you. We must stop dating." Dilbert points at the screen and says, "NO! Look, Liz, you have the wrong formula in this column! That must mean I have higher math skills than you! We're almost even!" After Dilbert leaves, Liz sits at her computer and Dogbert sits on her printer. Dogbert says to Liz, "You left that error in there intentionally." Liz answers, "My last batch of flowers is wilting."
Share April 03, 1995's comic on:
As Dilbert and Wally walk by, the Boss asks, "My laptop computer is locked up. Can you help?" Dilbert holds an Etch-a-Sketch over his head and shakes it. He tells the Boss, "Remember you have to hold it upside down and shake it to reboot." The Boss says, "Oh, that's right." Wally says to Dilbert as they walk away, "I wonder if he'll ever realize we gave him an 'Etch-a-Sketch.'"
Share April 26, 1995's comic on:
A man with a shaved head peers over the wall into Dilbert's cubicle and asks, "Hey, buddy, what are you in for?" Dilbert answers angrily, "Unlike yourself, I am not a prisoner here. I CHOOSE to work here of my own free will!" Dilbert says, I LIKE to work." The prisoner says, "Great . . . I'm in the freak section."
Share May 05, 1995's comic on:
Dogbert sits at a table signing copies of his book. A customer says, "My hobby is geography. Would you sign my book to each of the continents by name?" Dogbert says to the man, "Are you aware that my book recommends a twirling wedgie for people who ask for too much?" A hand reaches toward the man. Bob the Dinosaur twirls the man over his head as he gives him a wedgie. Bob says, "We find the line moves faster if I do this to the first customer."
Share May 27, 1995's comic on:
In a dream, Dilbert flies through the sky. He thinks, "In my dream I float over fields of heather." Below him a girl waves and says, "Hi! I'm Heather." Dilbert thinks, "The flying dream always predicts an important change. I feel that my freedom will soon increase." Dilbert wakes up in a meeting as the Boss asks, "Does somebody else have a question for our new CEO?" Dilbert's arms are out-streched and his finger is stuck in the CEO's ear. Dilbert thinks, "My finger is stuck."
Share May 29, 1995's comic on:
Dilbert sits at his computer. The Boss enters and says, "I've decided to be more of a hands-on manager." The Boss stands behind Dilbert and yells, "Move the mouse . . . Up . . . Up . . . Over . . . More . . . Now click it!! Click it!!" The Boss raises his arms over his head and screams, "No!!! You fool!!!" Dilbert says, "This has 'long day' written all over it."
Share June 19, 1995's comic on:
Ratbert stands on Dilbert's desk and says, "I've been hired by the finance department to help cut spending." Ratbert continues, "I'll be studying your every move and looking for waste and inefficiency." Looking over Dilbert's shoulder at his monitor, Ratbert says, "Those words in boldface look like they're sucking up the ol' electricity."