Questions Comic Strips - Page 19

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

210 Results for Questions

View 181 - 190 results for questions comic strips. Discover the best "Questions" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 19, 2015's comic on:


Tags #public speaking, #presentation, #question, #questions, #stupid, #idiot, #idiots, #criticism, #critic

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I need you to critique my presentation for the board. And don't hold back to spare my feelings. Dilbert: That probably won't be an issue. Alice: We got this. Boss: My product idea has three components. Alice: How do you know another company isn't secretly preparing to launch the same product? Boss: What kind of stupid question is that? Alice: It's the same question you asked me yesterday about my product idea. Boss: The board won't ask that. Alice: Don't be so sure. I hear they're idiots.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 26, 2015's comic on:


Tags #meeting, #first impression, #culture, #interview, #job interview, #deception, #revenge, #nice, #niceness, #nice people, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Job Interview. Boss; When I make hiring decisions, my biggest priority is cultural fit. Man: Your buzzwords are like music to my unemployed ears. And here come some employees who can tell me about your company culture. Boss: Uh-oh. Man: Hey, guys. Can I ask some questions about the culture here? Dilbert: Working here is like a paradise. Wally: Best place ever. Dilbert: Our days are full of laughter, hugging, and camaraderie. Wally: Coffee is free! Man: Wow. Thanks. I look forward to working here. Boss: ??? Dilbert: I didn't like that guy. Wally: I'm glad we got our revenge in advance.

Teeth Brushing Accident

Thank you for voting.
Teeth Brushing Accident - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 06, 2015's comic on:


Tags #insult, #criticism, #presentation, #stupid, #mean

View Transcript

Transcript

Coworker: Are there any questions about my presentation? Alice: Yes. Did you brush your teeth too aggressively and accidentally stab yourself in the brain? Coworker: Can you be more specific? Alice: Frontal lobes?

Asok Asks How Much Is Luck

Thank you for voting.
Asok Asks How Much Is Luck - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 12, 2015's comic on:


Tags #nepotism, #luck, #success, #obliviousness, #rich people, #privilege

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: May I ask some questions about your journey to success? Boss: I don't like the sound of this. Asok: I am trying to ascertain what percentage of a person's success is pure luck. For example, who hired you for your first real job? Boss: My dad. But in my defense, I interview well.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 15, 2015's comic on:


Tags #management, #strategy, #productivity, #humane, #inhumane, #treatment, #surveillance, #watching, #privacy, #work, #office workers

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: We are going to start monitoring employee productivity in real time. Any questions? Dilbert: I need one clarification. Are you saying you removed the last shred of human dignity from our jobs and reduced us to nothing but a meat machine that suffers in a state of perpetual inadequacy as each person is compared to an arbitrary and ever-growing goal until there is no realistic way for the employee to find happiness through natural means? Boss: That's one way to look at it.

Clarifying Our Strategies

Thank you for voting.
Clarifying Our Strategies - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 13, 2015's comic on:


Tags #jargon, #speaking, #confusion, #language, #obliviousness, #managers, #fake, #faking

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I hope that clarifies our strategy. Questions? Dilbert: From what you said, I can't tell if we're in the hardware or software business. Boss: We're B-to-B. Dilbert: How much do you with that meant something?

Robot High Five

Thank you for voting.
Robot High Five - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 12, 2015's comic on:


Tags #soul, #patience, #frustration, #artificial intelligence, #technology, #emotions, #anger

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Did you notice any changes after Alice gave you an artificial soul? Robot: I'm less tolerant of idiots asking me questions. Boss: High five. Robot: What is wrong with you people???

Managing Your Boss

Thank you for voting.
Managing Your Boss - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 21, 2016's comic on:


Tags #management, #accountability, #blame, #time, #time management

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Your project is three weeks behind schedule. Dilbert: That's the exact amount of time I was waiting for you to answer my questions. Boss: You need to manage me better. Dilbert: Okay, you're fired.

Dogbert Discovers Dogbertium

Thank you for voting.
Dogbert Discovers Dogbertium - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 25, 2016's comic on:


Tags #science, #discovery, #trick, #deception

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: My particle accelerator has discovered a new fundamental particle that I call "Dogbertium." It's properties are awesomeness and mystery. One of the mysteries is that it only exists when people don't ask too many questions.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 23, 2016's comic on:


Tags #email, #communication, #response, #confusion, #honesty, #overshare

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: Did you see my email? Dilbert; Did you mean your two-page document that has about twelve questions for me sprinkled throughout? Man: Yes, that's the one. Why haven't you responded? Dilbert: It's hard to answer that question while being polite. Man: You can be honest. Dilbert: Your email was such a disorganized mess that I assumed everything you do is doomed to fail. I didn't want to waste half a day deciphering it just so I could be on the losing side. With you. Man: Next time, just say you were busy. Dilbert: And I was busy.