Rating System Comic Strips - Page 19

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

251 Results for Rating System

View 181 - 190 results for rating system comic strips. Discover the best "Rating System" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 11, 2006's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

You're in charge of installing the system that Lyin' John sold to our biggest customer. "Lyin' John neglected to include the network and server in his sale. This is a financial sinkhole." "You take the joy out of delegating."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 12, 2006's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

"Here's the problem: Our salesman, Lyin' John, sold you a system that we can't install without losing money." "I propose that you pay us 40% more than we quoted you in the contract, and everyone wins." "Her body language says she's thinking about it." CRACK!!!

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 14, 2006's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

Our sales guy vastly underbid a job. Now it's my project to install the system in a way that's profitable. "Blame your customer for underspecifying the features then charge her through the nose for change orders." "Three million dollars for an electrical plug?" "The base model uses a potato battery."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 16, 2006's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

My new strategy is to hire passionate people instead of smart ones. "I curse the air conditioning system that blows such a cold wind!" "I can already feel our stock price going up."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 14, 2006's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

"I need you to drop whatever you're doing and work all night to make this change to your system." "If you refuse to do my bidding, here's the rumor I will spread about you." "Ha! I'll say I was only scratching an itch." "Good luck with that."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 08, 2006's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

Carl quit. He's the only one who knows how to program the legacy system. "It can't be that hard. Go figure it out." ? "Frack."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 09, 2006's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

I found a family of squirrels living inside our legacy system. "They control our payroll database. They're making demands." "Leave the acorns and no one will get their deductions increased."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 23, 2007's comic on:


Tags #depressed, #corporate job, #intern, #unimportant tasks, #feel nothing, #stressed, #ptsd, #punch, #numb out

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: My job is an endless series of mind-numbingly unimportant tasks. "My central nervous system is starting to atrophy." The Boss: "I'm kind of busy." Asok: "Punch me in the head so I can feel something."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 30, 2007's comic on:


Tags #automated sytem, #arbitrary deadline, #work smarter, #not harder, #sense of urgency, #get work done

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: "I can't develop an automated testing system by the arbitrary deadline you set." The Boss: "Try working smarter, not harder, with a sense of urgency, and a bias for action." Dilbert: "Or maybe you could do something differently." The Boss: "I'm not the one who can't get his work done."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 07, 2000's comic on:


Tags #presidential candiditae, #funny haired one, #social policies, #exact opposite, #tax plan, #bad plan, #make out, #like intelligent men, #she lied

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert asks Tina, "Which presidential candidates do you like?" Tina replies scratching her head, "I strongly favor the one with the funny hair. I forgot his name." Dilbert says, "His social policies are the exact opposite of your views." Tina answers, "Really?" Tina says to Dilbert, "Well, I like his tax plan." Dilbert replies, "Every credible economist thinks it's a bad plan." Tina answers, "Oh." Dilbert says, "It's a good thing we talked before you polluted the system with your vote." Dilbert then asks Tina, "Do you want to make out?" Dilbert arrives at home and explains to Dogbert, "She claimed to like intelligent men, but she lied."