Seven Times Comic Strips - Page 19
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207 Results for Seven Times
View 181 - 190 results for seven times comic strips. Discover the best "Seven Times" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday December 27,
2017
Winning Design Awards
Tags #design, #fragile, #cell phone, #crack, #screen, #evil, #technology
Transcript
Boss: 100 percent of our smartphone buyers dropped and broke their phones within one minute of unboxing them. Despite our slippery materials and brittle design, customers blamed themselves. And we won seven prestigious design awards. CEO: Yes!
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Friday January 19,
2018
Employee Body Cams
Tags #against ceo, #misinterpret warmness, #record interactions, #sexual harrasment, #wear body cams, #complaints
Transcript
The Boss: we've had seven hundred complaints about sexual harassment in the past month. From now on, employees must wear body cams to r record every interaction. Alice: Weren't all of this e complaints against our CEO? The boss: People misinterpret his warmness.
Wednesday March 28,
2018
To Do List
Tags #to-do list, #list, #task, #stress, #assignments
Transcript
Dilbert: I'd better make a list of all the things I need to do today. Narrator: Eight hours later. Dilbert: I have 347 urgent tasks, and I add about seven new ones each day. I'll cross "make a to-do list" off my to-do list and call it a day.
Saturday April 07,
2018
Elbonian Interference With Ads
Tags #hacker, #troll, #social media, #damage, #marketing, #bot, #nonsense, #business, #technology
Transcript
Dilbert: Our competitors hired an Elbonian troll farm to ruin our brand on social media. Their most viral ad against us so far says, "How ice cream they bicycle art!" Boss: How many views did it get? Dilbert: Seven, including this one.
Monday May 07,
2018
Massive Data Breach
Tags #data, #facebook, #privacy, #apology, #statement, #big business, #lying, #damage control
Transcript
Dilbert: We had a massive data breach. Hackers got into the private data of all of our customers. Boss: No problem. We'll issue a press release that says we're sorry and it will never happen again. Dilbert: That's what we said the last three times it happened. Boss: Our strategy is to wear them down.
Saturday July 28,
2018
Haircut On Company Times
Tags #hair, #haircut, #time, #break
Transcript
Boss: Wally, do you have a minute? Wally: No. I have to get a haircut. Boss: You can't get a haircut on company time. Wally: I'm only cutting the hairs that grew on company time. Boss: How do you know which ones grew on company time? Wally: It's always hairs three and five.
Friday August 17,
2018
Answering Questions In Email
Tags #Dilbert, #male employee, #email, #questions
Transcript
Male Employee: Why did you only answer one of my seven questions in my email? Dilbert: I'm penalizing you for asking too many questions in a long rambling email. Male employee: Jerk. Dilbert: That'll cost you three questions.
Monday October 08,
2018
Carol Can't Get The Printer To Work
Tags #carol, #Dilbert, #printer, #work, #priorities, #yammering
Transcript
Carol: I can't get the printer to work can you help? Dilbert: Sure, I'll be there as soon as I finish my twenty-seven tasks that are all higher priorities. Carol: How long will that take? Dilbert: I got three new tasks while you were here yammering.
Saturday October 20,
2018
When Will Ted By Done
Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #test, #data, #ted, #working, #done, #range
Transcript
The Boss: When will I get the test data? Dilbert: I don't know Ted is working on that. The Boss: When do you think he will be done? Dilbert: I know. I'm not Ted. The Boss: Just give me a range. Dilbert: Between one day and seven-hundred years.
Thursday November 15,
2018
Complaining Versus Hiding
Tags #boss, #complaining, #employees, #employment, #jobs, #managers & supervisors
Transcript
Asok: I'm doing the job of three people and it isn't fair. Boss: Good point. Alice is doing the job of seven people. I'll give you two of her jobs to balance it out. Wally: So...is complaining better than hiding? Asok: No...you were right.