Slow Design Comic Strips - Page 19

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

197 Results for Slow Design

View 181 - 190 results for slow design comic strips. Discover the best "Slow Design" comics from Dilbert.com.

Volunteers For Mars Trip

Thank you for voting.
Volunteers For Mars Trip - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 26, 2016's comic on:


Tags #space, #astronaut, #engineering, #karma, #death, #design, #medical

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I need volunteers to go to Mars in the spaceship we're building. Dilbert: Ask Ted. He's dispensable because he's a terrible engineer. Boss: Ted designed the spaceship. Dilbert: Karma will sort that all out.

The Illusion Of Work

Thank you for voting.
The Illusion Of Work - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 18, 2017's comic on:


Tags #work ethic, #laziness, #deception

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: It's easier to create the illusion of work than it is to do actual work. That's why I carry this red folder with me wherever I go. Man: Can you attend a design meeting at two? Wally: Ooh... I wish I could, but I'm behind on the red file.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 09, 2017's comic on:


Tags #complaining, #listening, #small talk

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: How's work? Dilbert: Well, since you asked... it's like being trapped in a garbage compactor and no one can hear me scream. All my hopes and dreams have died, along with my immune system and my dignity. The only thing keeping me alive is that food tastes good. I tried to escape into my imagination, but I learned I don't have one. My life has no meaning. Each second is a slow-motion ordeal. Why do I get the feeling you weren't listening to any of that? Boss:My day was good too.

Dilbert Enters The Jargon Matrix

Thank you for voting.
Dilbert Enters The Jargon Matrix - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 11, 2017's comic on:


Tags #jargon, #language, #matrix, #communication

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Asok entered the jargon matrix. I'm going in to save him. Asok: User experience... Dilbert: Cloud... blockchain... speed of execution... responsive design... peel the onion... move the needle... Asok: Sustainability. Dilbert: I'm in. Asok: What the...? Where did you come from? Narrator: Continued...

Home Speaker Prototype

Thank you for voting.
Home Speaker Prototype - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 13, 2017's comic on:


Tags #technology, #robot, #speaker, #invention, #sentience

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I need you to design a home speaker that can compete with Amazon Alexa and Google Home. How long before you'll have a prototype? Dilbert: Give me fifteen minutes. Robot: Would I be living with a human family in this scenario? Dilbert: Only your head.

Adding A Feature

Thank you for voting.
Adding A Feature - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 20, 2017's comic on:


Tags #technology, #design, #changes, #planning, #managers

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Add this feature to the software. Dilbert: Gaaa!!! Why didn't you ask for this weeks ago when it would have been easy???? Boss: This is nothing. Wait until you see the feature I ask for next week.

No Calendar Needed

Thank you for voting.
No Calendar Needed - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 26, 2017's comic on:


Tags #work ethic, #laziness, #calendar, #excuse, #avoidance

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: Do you have time to check my design? Wally: Let me see. Nope. Man: Did you just check your calendar? Wally: With my system, I don't need a calendar.

Wally Works On Stealth Clothing

Thank you for voting.
Wally Works On Stealth Clothing - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 09, 2017's comic on:


Tags #invisibility, #attendance, #deception, #laziness

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: We won a bid to design stealth clothing for the military. Wally: Ooh! Ooh! I volunteer to work on that project. Boss: Um... okay. Narrator: One month later. Boss: Your attendance has been poor lately. Wally: Here's where I teach you about "reasonable doubt."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 24, 2017's comic on:


Tags #military, #office workers, #survival, #hero

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: This is our new employee, Mark. Mark was a navy SEAL. He fought in three separate conflicts. He once fought off a hundred insurgents and saved a town. Show Mark how we roll at this company. Dilbert: Today I'll be reformatting my PowerPoint deck because someone said the design is not organic. Mark: What's that mean? Dilbert: It doesn't matter. I'll just push some things around and hope the guy who complained doesn't attend the next meeting. Mark: How do you survive this place? Dilbert: I don't like to use the word "hero."

Beautiful, Slippery, Brittle

Thank you for voting.
Beautiful, Slippery, Brittle   - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 25, 2017's comic on:


Tags #technology, #cell phones, #fragile, #aesthetics, #vanity

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: When you engineer our new mobile phone product, make sure you adhere to the BSB design principle. Dilbert: BSB? Boss: Beautiful, slippery, brittle. Dilbert: Isn't that sort of evil? Boss: It isn't our fault if customers don't buy an ugly case.