Upper And Lower Case Comic Strips - Page 19

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View 181 - 190 results for upper and lower case comic strips. Discover the best "Upper And Lower Case" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cubicle workplaces, #lowers intelligence, #work ethic, #office, #boss

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Dilbert: I would be more productive with my own office. Studies show that cubicle workplaces lower intelligence. Boss: You can't be sure that's true because your cubicle lowered your intelligence. Dilbert: Wait... why does that make sense? Boss: Because I have an office.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meeting, #boss, #raise, #political capital, #business

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The Boss: If I try to give you the raise you deserve, the people above me will just reduce it. Alice: Maybe you could use some of your political capital to argue my case. The Boss: Maybe not.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #moral compass, #damaged, #groomed for management, #coffee in face, #wrong

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A woman says, "I hear your moral compass is damaged and you're being groomed for upper management." SPLOISH! Dilbert says, "Was that wrong? Because I can't tell."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #the boss' wife, #stake, #died, #dead, #funeral, #casket, #mallet, #surprised, #spouse, #looking at dead body

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Dilbert says, "Do you think he's really dead?" Alice says, "I brought a wooden stake just in case." Dilbert says, "Me too, just in case the afterlife rejects him." Wally says, "It's legal, right?" Alice says, "Uh-oh." Dilbert says, "Spouse?" Wife says, "Did anyone think to bring a mallet?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meeting, #math, #project, #fail, #disaster, #embarrassed, #act dumb, #cancel, #buy, #question, #demonstrate, #hands up, #education, #business

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Dilbert says, "The math clearly shows that our project won't work, even if we do everything right." The Boss says, "It's embarrassing to cancel a project in the middle. Let's act dumb and hope someone in upper management cancels it for budget reasons." Dilbert says, "Should I stop buying stuff?" The Boss says, "You should buy twice as much."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #pinocchio, #nose grows, #long nose, #doctor, #exam, #stethoscope, #lies, #powerpoint, #proboscis, #nose through head, #pain, #medical

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Doctor says, "You have a wicked case of sympathetic Powerpoint proboscis." Doctor says, "Your nose grows when anyone lies during a business presentation." Asok says, "Sorry. The sales forecast seemed optimistic."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #coworker, #baby shower, #triplets, #gift, #cubicle, #book, #Environment, #carbon footprint

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Tina says, "We're having a baby shower for Kim on Friday." Dilbert says, "I barely know her." Tina says, "She's having triplets. Try to bring an appropriate gift for once." Kim says, "It's a? book on how to lower my carbon footprint?" Dilbert says, "You're killing us all."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #frankenstein, #human resources, #focus group, #scared, #angry, #fire marshal, #economy, #job market, #business

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Catbert says, "We need someone to run focus groups about our existing products." Frankenstein says, "What is a focus group?" Catbert says, "In our case, it's like mob of angry villagers armed with sharp pens." Catbert says, "And you'd also be the fire marshal for the floor. Are you in?" Catbert says, "Yeah. It's a tough job market."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meeting, #old coworker, #whisper, #secret, #knowledge, #die, #evil smile, #grin, #business

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Boss says, "Old Johannsen has kept his job all of these years because no one else has his critical knowledge." Johannsen says, "Pss pss pss pss psss"B<R>The Boss says, "There's the worst-case scenario right there."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #burden to people, #dutch sandwhich, #less appealing name, #tax attorneys, #transfer tax, #taxes

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Dogbert: I can lower your corporate taxes by using a strategy that tax attorneys call "the dutch sandwich" and Im not vice making that up. So...that would transfer our tax burden to people who can't afford tax attorneys. Dogbert: yeah....their sandwich has a less appealing name.