With Draw Money Comic Strips - Page 19

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View 181 - 190 results for with draw money comic strips. Discover the best "With Draw Money" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 03, 1997's comic on:


Tags #benchmarking initiative, #crying with joy, #mother, #phone call, #asok, #calls mother, #Family

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Asok sits at his desk and speaks into the phone. "Hi, Mom! Guess what." Asok sits in his cubicle and says, "I'm the process owner for our benchmarking intitive!" Asok holds his hand over the receiver and turns to Wally. There is a PC between them. Asok says, "She's crying with joy..." Wally says, "I used to think that too."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 10, 1997's comic on:


Tags #incredibly sexy, #fuzzy guy, #dogebrt, #dillbert, #in touch with feelings, #make me doubt, #scientific methid

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Dogbert stands with the cute girl. Dilbert wears a jogging suit. The girls says, "Wow. you're an incredibly sexy man. It's too bad I met this little fuzzy guy first." The girls says, "But looks aren't everything. Studies show that women want a man who is in touch with his feelings." Dilbert raises his eye brows. Dilbert screams, "I hate my life!!" The girls says, "Gee. That's enough to make me doubt the scientific method."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 25, 1997's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #find people, #laugh nervously, #smack with flyswatter, #wouldn't be hobby, #no reason

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Dilbert sits on the couch, pointing the remote control at the tv. Dogbert stands on the arm of the couch wearing a backpack and holding a fly swatter. He says, "Wish me luck." Dilbert says, "For what?" Dogbert waves the swatter and says, "I'm going to find people who laugh nervously every time they talk. Then I'll smack them with my flyswatter." Dogbert walk away. Dilbert says, 'And the reason would be?" Dogbert says, "It wouldn't be a hobby if it had a reason."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 13, 1997's comic on:


Tags #south dakota, #tax reasons, #save money on taxes, #disrupt lives, #kill in sleep, #sell organs

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Dilbert peers over his cubilce at Wally. Dilbert says, "There's a rumor the company is moving to SOuth Dakota for tax reasons." Wally hangs up his coat and says, "Do you seriously think they would disrupt the lives of thousands of employees just to save money on taxes?" Dilbert replies, "I think they'd kill us all in our sleep and sell our organs if the return on investment was good." Wally says, "Stop it. I'll be afraid to sleep in my cubicle now."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 06, 1997's comic on:


Tags #earnings, #handle investments, #maxed out, #money, #relax, #retire, #risk, #strangers

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Dogbert sits in a chair at a financial planner's office. The planner says, "We can handle your investments so you can retire and live off the earnings." The planners holds a long contract that covers his desk. He says, "Just sign this incomprehensible contract, hand all your money to total strangers and relax!" Dogbert's ears fly up as he looks at the contract. The planners says, "We'll need to know what your tolerance for risk is." Dogbert says, "I think I just maxed out."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 17, 1997's comic on:


Tags #dogbert mutual fund, #earnings report, #steal investors money, #compare perfromance, #common assumptions

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Dogbert works at a computer. Behind him, Dilbert says, "Is it hard to write an earnings report after you steal the investor's money?" Dogbert says, "Nah." Dogbert says, "I'll compare my performance to the S&P 500 under a common set of assumptions." Dilbert walks away and says, "Oh." A woman says to her husband, "How did our Dogbert fund do?" The husband looks at the earnings statement and says, "Ten percent better than the S&P 500 if it were also managed by an unscrupulous dog."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 18, 1997's comic on:


Tags #money chetter, #dogbert mutual fund, #highest perfromer, #read anything, #tv show, #financial reports

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A television anchorman sits next to Dogbert and looks into the tv camera. He says, "My guest today on "Money Chatter" is the head of the "Dogbert Mutual Fund." The anchorman reads from a paper and says, "It's reported that your fund is the highest performer of the decade. Tell us how you made that happen." Dogbert says, "Okay." Dogbert says, Apparently, this guy will read anything you hand him." The anchor's eyes bulge out.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 28, 1997's comic on:


Tags #boss, #doesn't know, #being insulted, #with all due respect, #intangible benefits, #insulting, #monkey face

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Alice says to Wally and Dilbert, "I discoverd that our pointy-haired boss doesn't know he's being insulted if you say, 'With all due respect' first." Wally thinks, "I love the intangible benefits of this job." The Boss is leaving his office. Wally says to him, "With all due respect, is that your face or is a monkey climbing down your shirt headfirst?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 20, 1997's comic on:


Tags #dogbert research, #small dog, #with glasses, #bureau of dogs, #50 dollars, #file complaint

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Dogbert Research Co. Dogbert says, "First question: What would you losers do if a small dog with glasses took advantage of you?" A man shakes his fist and says, "We would complain to the... um... whoever handles that sort of thing!" The woman says, "Yeah!" The man shows up at the "Bureau of Dogs." He says to Dogbert, who sits behind a desk earing a turban, "It costs fifty bucks to file a complaint?" Dogbert says, "And ten bucks to borrow a pen."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 06, 1998's comic on:


Tags #company, #knows about wally, #phone call logs, #web hits, #emails, #urine test, #college grades, #salary, #Family, #business, #money

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Catbert sits on Wally's desk holding some papers and says, "The company knows everything about you, Wally." Catbert looks in Wally's file and says, "We have logs of all you phone calls, web hits, and e-mail. We have your urine test, college grades, salary and family contacts..." Catbert says, "It's against our policy to kill employees and replace them with low paid impersonators, but I wanted you to know it's feasible."