Wrong Hoof Comic Strips - Page 19
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"Carol, shred this." "The shredder is right behind you, next to the fax." "What if I do it wrong?" "Only a complete moron could do it wrong." "Um...I think I might have just faxed our strategy someplace." "And that's why you never see a water fountain in a men's restroom."
Um...Why are you here? "Originally I was seduced by the smell of your freshly brewed coffee and tempting pastries." "But now I'm all about cross-charging my time to your project."
My boss wants me to integrate a great product with a terrible one just to validate our merger. "Is it ethical for me to stall for a month until he forgets what he asked for?" "Sure. You can even hit him with a rock to speed up the forgetting." "Maybe I'm asking the wrong ethicist."
The Sales Call "I brought my egghead to talk to your egghead while you and I make out." "Our web services employ XML, Soap and WSDL to achieve interoperable HTTP modules." Mmm mmm mmm "Do you ever think we might be in the wrong jobs?" "I'm not going to kiss you." Mmm mmm
"So, Asok, what have you heard about Ted's project?" "He seems to be in over his head and he's blaming you for cutting the wrong budget." "I hope this doesn't come back to bite me." "Now now, Carol. I'm working my new snitch."
"Sometimes I feel as if my life is nothing but moving things from one place to another." "I've decided to seek a deeper connection with others to cure my emptiness." "Blah, blah, blah." "Maybe I'm doing it wrong."
Boss: The big companies are hiring all of the good engineering students as soon as they graduate. We need to start earlier. I want you to skulk around school yards and try to form relationships with kids who are nerdy loners. Offer them candy. Kids love candy. Dilbert: I don't see how this plan could go wrong.