2008 Comic Strips - Page 19
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Character
Sunday June 29,
2008
Tags eliminate bonuses, savings used, fun loving executives, wear festive costumes, sound of no money, ceo's yacht, whale oil, bring harpoon, happy about underpay
Transcript
The Boss says, "Our CEO decided to eliminated employee bonuses." The Boss says, "The savings will be used to produce an in-house movie to inspire you." Dilbert says, "Inspire us to do what?" The Boss says, "For starters, we'd like you to be happy about being underpaid." The Boss says, "Our fun-loving executives will wear festive costumes and sing about the virtues of poverty." The Boss says, "The movie is called 'The Sounds of No Money.'" The Boss says, "The premiere is on our CEO's yacht. He wants all of you to be there." Asok says, "We're invited to his yacht?" The Boss says, "The yacht runs on whale oil, so bring a harpoon."
Monday June 30,
2008
Tags particle accelerator, paul dirac, antiworld
Transcript
Dogbert says, "Whatcha got going there?" Dilbert says, "It's a particle accelerator?" Dilbert says, "I'm looking for evidence of the antiworld that physicist Paul Dirac predicted in 1930." Another Dilbert says, "Hello, handsome!"
Tuesday July 01,
2008
Tags anti dilbert, ahhihilated, leaves vacuum, spf50, garbageman, Advice
Transcript
Dilbert says, "I created an anti-Dilbert, but I don't know how to prevent him from being annihilated by matter when he leaves the vacuum." The Garbageman says, "If you don't know how to do it, and he's the anti-you, that means he knows how." Anti-Dilbert says, "Matterscreen, SPF 50. Duh."
Wednesday July 02,
2008
Tags particle accelarator, antimatter, clone, oprah
Transcript
Dilbert says, "My particle accelerator brought an antimatter Dilbert into this world." Dilbert says, "Everything he thinks is opposite of what I think." The Boss says, "Why did you bring him here?" Dilbert says, "You're like his Oprah." Anti-Dilbert says, "Hold me."
Thursday July 03,
2008
Tags adventurer, alternate universe, billionaire, evolution, kills the strong, south pole, universe
Transcript
Anti-Dilbert says, "In my alternate universe, the one we call Wally is a billionaire entrepreneur and adventurer." Anti-Dilbert says, "No one has seen him since he tried to swim to the south pole." Anti-Dilbert says, "In my universe, evolution kills the strong." Wally says, "Sounds like he had it coming."
Friday July 04,
2008
Tags antimatter dilbert, matterscreen, coffee, annihilated
Transcript
Anti-Dilbert says, "I'm the antimatter Dilbert. If my thin film of matterscreen washed off, I would come in contact with matter and be annihilated." SPLOOSH! KABOOM! Alice thinks, "Once again, my first instinct wasn't the best."
Saturday July 05,
2008
Tags antimatter version, killed, cup of coffee
Transcript
Alice says, "You know that antimatter version of yourself that you brought to work?" Alice says, "I killed him with a cup of coffee. I think he enjoyed it. Because he's, like, opposite." Alice says, "But enough about me. How's your day going?"
Sunday July 06,
2008
Tags after work, bar, date, drink, false sense, group activity, other people, safety, scam, show up, suspicious, trick, trust
Transcript
Dilbert says, "Some of us are going for a drink after work. Would you like to join us?" A woman says, "Nice try, but I know how this scam works." The woman says, "You're trying to lull me into a false sense of activity with a group activity." The woman says, "But we both know the other people will mysteriously never show up." The woman says, "Then it's just you and me on what looks like a date." Dilbert says, "How many people do I have to invite before you believe some of them will show up?" The woman says, "Well, given the disparity in our levels of attractiveness, I'd say thirty-five." Dilbert says, "Can do." The woman says, "Not one other person showed?" Dilbert says, "I only invited women who are more suspicious than you."
Monday July 07,
2008
Tags code changes, specifications vague, uncompelling, breeding ground, ennui, cheer up
Transcript
man: "Alice, did you make those code changes yet?" Alice says, "No. I find your specifications to be vague and uncompelling. They are a breeding ground for ennui." man : "Is there any way I can cheer you up?" Alice says, "Maybe if something awful happened to you."
Tuesday July 08,
2008
Tags time management, evolution, good management, tasks, genes, dead end
Transcript
Dogbert says, "Welcome to Dogbert's seminar on time management and evolution." Dogbert says, "The key to good time management is skipping un-important tasks." Dogbert says, "In module two, I will show you that everything you do is unimportant because your genes are a dead end."


