Search Results for "fast guy in tights"
Share November 20, 1989's comic on:
Dilbert sits in his chair reading the newspaper and Dogbert sits on Dilbert's legs. Dilbert says, "Here's an interesting editorial . . ." Dilbert continues, "This guy says we should increase the pay of congressmen to remove incentive for them to engage in illegal acts." Dogbert says, "By that theory, criminals aren't bad, just underpaid."
Share January 24, 1990's comic on:
Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert sits on the hassock. Dilbert tells Dogbert, ". . . And the doctor gave me just a year to live." Dilbert continues, "I'm sorry, little guy . . . I don't know how you'll manage without me." Dogbert asks, "Would it be too much trouble to paint the house before you go?"
Share January 27, 1990's comic on:
Dilbert's suitcase sits on a bed. Dilbert thinks, "I hate fancy hotels like this . . ." Dilbert reaches for the door and thinks, "Am I expected to tip the maid when I leave?" Dilbert thinks, "I could ask that concierge guy . . . Can I trust a guy with a French-sounding job? . . . And do I have to tip HIM?"
Share February 24, 1990's comic on:
Dilbert and Dogbert sit in a fast food restaurant. Dogbert asks, "Doesn't 'fast' mean not eating?" Dogbert asks, "So how can you have 'fast food?'" Dogbert asks, "And how much would I have to eat before I starved to death?"
Share April 09, 1990's comic on:
Dilbert says to a group of Elbonians, "The first thing you Elbonians must understand about capitalism is the incentive system." Dilbert continues, "If you're willing to work twelve hours a day, eventually the guy who owns your factory will get rich." An Elbonian asks another, "Am I missing something here?" Dilbert continues, "Then you guys get to watch great tv shows based on the millionaire's life!"
Share May 01, 1990's comic on:
Dilbert gets sucked into his computer. Dilbert: You.. You're a microchip... Michael: I am. C'mon in and have some coffee. Dilbert: Chips drink coffee? Michael: Gallons. It keeps us fast. Dilbert: Doesn't that make you irritable with the other microchips? Michael: Not since I killed them all.
Share May 05, 1990's comic on:
A man says to Dilbert, "Hear about the new guy? He's from NEW YORK." Dilbert gulps and another man yells, "Hear he comes!" Dilbert and the two men run screaming. The new guy stands in front of the water cooler and says, "Well, I suppose I could hunt them down and kill them one by one."
Share May 06, 1990's comic on:
Dogbert walks on the sidewalk. A man in a car pulls up next to him and asks, "Hey dog! What's the quickest way to go to the hospital?" Dogbert replies, "Drive as fast as you can into that tree." The driver asks, "What's the second quickest way?" Dogbert replies, "Hmm . . . Well, go left, then right, right, left, left, left, right, left, left." The says, "Thanks!" as he drives away. Dogbert thinks, "Actually, I have no idea how to get to the hospital . . ." Dogbert thinks, "But I didn't want him to think I'm a jerk."
Share May 07, 1990's comic on:
Dilbert stands in front of a desk. A voice from the out box says, "Hey! Big guy, how are ya?" An envelope peeks out of the box and says, "How's the family? You look great . . . Nice weather, huh?" Dilbert walks away thinking, "I hate outgoing mail." The envelope yells, "Do you fish?"
Share May 15, 1990's comic on:
Dogbert walks down the sidewalk holding a microphone. Dogbert thinks, "Dogbert the Ambush Reporter looks for another victim." Dogbert approaches a woman carrying a briefcase and asks, "Is it true you have often fantasized about marrying a rich guy and ditching your career?" The woman covers her face with her hands and cries, "Yes!!! Yes!!! And I . . . I . . . Secretly learned to COOK!!" Dogbert asks, "Is that YARN sticking out of your briefcase?!!"