Four Groups Comic Strips - Page 2

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

131 Results for Four Groups

View 11 - 20 results for four groups comic strips. Discover the best "Four Groups" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 28, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #break, #restroom, #mingle, #dryer, #delay, #impenitrable, #agenda, #alone, #Dogbert, #work

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits in a meeting. The speaker says, "Let's take a ten-minute break." Dilbert thinks, "Uh-oh." Dilbert thinks, "I've got to use the restroom and get back before all the mingle groups have solidified." Dilbert stands in the bathroom and thinks, "Uh no, it's an air dryer, an unexpected delay!" Dilbert returns to the room and thinks, "I'm too late. All the minglers have formed impenetrable groups." Dilbert thinks, "I'll pretend to study the agenda so it looks like I have a reason to be alone." Dilbert thinks, "Everybody knows it doesn't take this long to read an agenda. Now what do I do??" Beads of sweat fly off Dilbert's forehead and he tugs on his tie. He thinks, "I've got to stand here alone, totally non-mingled, for five more minutes." Dilbert arrives at home looking disheveled. Dogbert asks, "Tough day at work?" Dilbert replies, "Just the breaks."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 07, 1993's comic on:


Tags #the boss, #Dilbert, #alice, #table, #introduce, #afraid, #forget, #integrated, #work, #remember, #drawing, #norwegian

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss, Dilbert, Wally and Alice sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "I see some new faces. Let's go around the table and introduce ourselves." Dilbert thinks, "I hate this. I'm always afraid I'll forget my name when the pressure is on me." The man next to Dilbert says, ". . . And I've been in the Integrated Design District for four years." Dilbert thinks, "Uh-oh." Dilbert thinks, "People are saying where they work. I can't remember the name of my district." The man concludes, ". . . And there you have it! Ha ha!" Dilbert thinks, "Aaagh! Now they're adding witty comments." Dilbert thinks, "I'm drawing a blank. My only chance is to pretend I only speak Norwegian." Dilbert says, "Norna borna corna dorna fiord cajorda. Ha ha ha!" Back at home, Dilbert tells Dogbert, "The amazing thing is that I get paid the same no matter what I do." Dogbert replies, "Thank God for that."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 09, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #speech, #society, #engineers, #imagining, #audience, #naked, #pictured, #bed, #mirror

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert stands in front of the dresser mirror tying his tie and Dogbert sits on the bed. Dilbert says, "I have to give a speech to the 'Society of Engineers' today . . . I'm a bit nervous." Dogbert replies, "Sometimes you can relax by imagining the audience is naked." Dogbert's ears stand straight up and he says, "Whoa! Cancel that. I just pictured four hundred naked engineers." Dilbert's tie crumples and he says, "Too late."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 13, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #alice, #ted, #Wally, #business meeting

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss, Dilbert, Alice, Wally and Ted sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "Welcome to the four hour . . ." The Boss yells, "Meeting from HELL!!" He laughs diabolically. Dilbert thinks, "That's rarely a good sign."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 22, 1994's comic on:


Tags #project plan, #every resource, #task, #dependency, #road map, #two weeks, #tasks, #two weeks late, #dependencies are wrong, #estimates, #to be determined, #ransom numbers, #redo whole plan

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: "Let's spend the next four hours reviewing the project plan." "I've detailed every resource, task and dependency into an exquisitely accurate road map." "It took me two weeks, but it's the only way to make sure we're not wasting time." Alice: "My tasks are two weeks late because I was waiting for your input." Dilbert: "And you left off one task, so all the dependencies are wrong." Wally: "I'm changing all of my estimate to 'to be determined'." Dilbert: "Can we do that? I've just been using random numbers." Man: "I'll have to redo the whole plan." Wally: "Don't worry. We won't do anything until we hear from you."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 02, 1994's comic on:


Tags #diversity training, #respect differences, #four groups, #insults group, #dog, #teaching, #workers, #animals, #education

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: In 'diversity sensitivity' training you will learn to respect those who are different. DOgbert: People basically fall into these four groups. ugly smart cute smart ugly stupid cute stupid Dilbert: This is different than I expected. Dogbert: I notice that all of you are in this box here.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 22, 1994's comic on:


Tags #engineers, #filberts job security, #menacing statements, #one option, #reducing headcount, #works hard, #finish project

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: The only way to finish the project on time is by adding four engineers. Wally: theres one other option. you could make menacing statements about filberts job security until he works five times as hard. Just kidding. hee hee! The Boss: Ive been thinking about reducing headcount.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 07, 1994's comic on:


Tags #never managed, #marketing people, #do marketing things, #segments, #focus groups, #segmenting, #dominate industry, #motivated

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: "I've never managed marketing people before. But a good manager can manage anything." "So...I order you to go do marketing things...like segmenting and focus groups..." "And keep focusing and segmenting until we dominate the industry!!!" Worker: "Well, I'm motivated."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 13, 1994's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #speech, #have and have nots, #dumb ones, #cavemans, #unevolved

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert the futurist Dogebert: Society will become divided into technology "haves" and "have nots" Eventually the two groups will take different evolutionary paths. Then, as now, the "have nots" will be policy makers. Caveman: Oog mission statement

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 01, 1994's comic on:


Tags #product development process, #buy in, #managers, #happy if dead, #executive oversight, #issues, #blind, #looked at bulb

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss points to a diagram and says, "Problem: our product development process requires buy-in from managers who'd be happier if we all died." As he puts a new transparency on the overhead projector, the Boss says, "My solution is to create executive oversight groups who don't understand the issues and don't have time to meet." Wally and Dilbert watch as the Boss looks into the light and yells, "I'm . . . I'm blind!" Dilbert says, "You looked directly at the bulb again."