Predictable Behavior Comic Strips - Page 2
67 Results for Predictable Behavior
View 11 - 20 results for predictable behavior comic strips. Discover the best "Predictable Behavior" comics from Dilbert.com.
Share January 27, 1991's comic on:
Rex: Dogbert, can I ask you a question? Dogbert: Sure, little Rex. Rex: What's the difference between good and evil? Dogbert: Well, evil is all the stuff you want to do... And good is the stuff that others force you to do. Rex: My dad says that good is what you know in your heart. He says evil is a bad gut feeling. Dogbert: Well, of course, your dad's brain is so tiny that his other organs have to pitch in like that. Rex: Maybe I shouldn't learn about life from a guy who counts with his toes. Dogbert: And thinks with his guts.
Share February 02, 1991's comic on:
Rex: Dogbert, what's the congress? Dogbert: They make laws, Rex. Rex: Then what does the president do? Dogbert: He vetoes the laws. It's called balance of power. Rex: I guess they don't get paid much for doing that. Dogbert: Here's the confusing part...
Share April 02, 1991's comic on:
Dilbert: My android works! Andy: Hi. I am Andy the android. I am designed to rapidly analyze and imitate human behavior. Dilbert: This could be annoying. Andy: I know you are, but what am I?
Share July 07, 1991's comic on:
Dogbert and Dilbert walk through the park. Dilbert asks, "Do you think people are basically good or evil?" Dogbert replies, "Well, I know dogs are basically good." Dogbert continues, "And dogs are better than people." Dogbert continues, "But people are better than cats." They sit down under a tree. Dogbert continues, "And cats are evil . . ." Dogbert continues, "Therefore, all people are stupid." Dilbert says, "I don't follow that logic." Dogbert says, "Yes, my theory predicts you would say that."
Share July 11, 1991's comic on:
Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert sits on Dilbert's legs. Dogbert asks, "Who would win if a giant moth fought a giant but modest bee in an all-wool jumpsuit?" Dilbert says, "Wait . . . Who's wearing the jumpsuit -- the giant moth or the giant bee?" Dogbert replies, "The bee." Dilbert asks, "Is this just hypothetical?"
Share July 17, 1991's comic on:
Dogbert says, "Your Chihuahua disguise is good, Ratbert, but you must also learn to THINK like a Chihuahua." Dogbert continues, "To think like a Chihuahua, imagine the sound of one hand clapping." Ratbert yells, "Ouch! I sprained my brain! Yip yip yip yip yip!!!" Dogbert says, "Good, good . . ."
Share July 19, 1991's comic on:
Man: Hey, aren't you one of those chihuahua dogs? Ratbert: The disguise is working. Man: Unless... Maybe you're just a rat in a turtleneck sweater, pretending to be a chihuahua. Ratbert: Think fast. Man: I don't have the attention span to think about it. Ratbert: What did he mean by, "just a rat"?
Share October 22, 1991's comic on:
Dilbert, Wally, the Boss and a man sit at a conference table. Dilbert asks Wally, "Any luck trying to get fired?" Wally replies, "No . . But I'll get that severance package yet." Wally continues, "This morning I Krazy-glued farm animals to the Boss, but he STILL won't deal with all the bureaucracy to fire me." The Boss has a chicken glued to his head and a pig and a cow glued to each arm. The Boss says, "The staff meeting may run a little long today."
Share October 30, 1991's comic on:
Dilbert lies on a couch and a therapist sits next to the couch taking notes. Dilbert says, ". . . My dog started charging me to pet him . . ." Dilbert continues, "I haven't hugged Mom since I was twelve . . . My dates are always disasters . . . I just need to touch somebody." Dilbert holds out his hand and says, "Good session, Doc. Thanks." The psychologist says, "Nice try."
Share December 04, 1991's comic on:
Zimbu the Monkey sits at his desk working on the computer. Dilbert says, "It's time to end this charade, Zimbu!" Dilbert continues, "Your language skills are simple rote behavior. Monkeys are incapable of logic and reasoning." Dilbert looks at the computer screen and says, "Ha! And that program you're writing -- it's probably in 'Basic.'" Zimbu asks, "Do you ever work?"