Search Results for "complain about attitude"

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Dogbert's Self Defense School

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Dogbert's Self Defense School - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 07, 2019's comic on:


Tags #employees, #enemies, #murder, #office workers, #training, #manipulation, #defense

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Dogbert: Welcome to Dogbert's school of unconventional self-defense. I'm handing out a list of my personal enemies. Your homework is to kill them before sunrise. Voice: That isn't self-defense. Dogbert: Wow. All you can think about is you, you, you.

Asok's Employee Engagement

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Asok's Employee Engagement - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 05, 2019's comic on:


Tags #employees, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #work, #attitude, #expectations

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Boss: Asok, your employee engagement has been a bit soft this quarter. I expect a higher level of irrational enthusiasm for the endless string of thankless tasks you call your job. Asok: How's this? Boss: I also want to see an unnatural preference for work over leisure.

Have To Think About It

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Have To Think About It - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 02, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business ethics, #idea, #managers & supervisors, #office, #office workers

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Dilbert: Do you like my idea? Boss: I need to think about it. Dilbert: You mean you plan to wait a few weeks and then act as if it was your idea? Boss: Now that idea I like right away.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 24, 2019's comic on:


Tags #communication, #conversation, #frustration, #managers & supervisors, #marriage, #relationships

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Boss: My wife is the smart one in the family. Everything I know about management I learned from her. Dilbert: Do you have a minute? Boss: Whatever. Dilbert: Whatever? Are you mad at me? Boss: No, not at all. Everything is fine. Dilbert: If you have a problem with me, why don't you just tell me? Boss: It's nothing. Carol: She taught you well.

Health Problems

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Health Problems  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 18, 2019's comic on:


Tags #age, #complaining, #health, #office, #office workers

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Alice: Do me a favor and never put me on a project with people over the age of forty. They waste the first fifteen minutes of every meeting talking about their health problems. Boss: Did you say something? I can't hear you over my tinnitus.

Social Media Mind Control

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Social Media Mind Control - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 09, 2019's comic on:


Tags #control, #social media, #selfie, #smartphone

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Wally: Are you worried that the algorithms used by social media platforms are a form of mind control? Boss: I...am not...worried about...that. Wally: Maybe we should have had this conversation sooner. Boss: Must...post...selfie...

Forming Your Own Opinions

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Forming Your Own Opinions - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 08, 2019's comic on:


Tags #Opinion, #social media, #current events, #smartphone

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Boss: I used to form my own opinions about current events. Now I just copy whatever the people I follow on social media say. Dilbert: Where do they get their opinions from? Boss: From something called an algorithm.

Thankless Tasks

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Thankless Tasks - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 22, 2019's comic on:


Tags #career, #employment, #jobs, #managers & supervisors, #optimism

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Man: My career goal is to have a job with greater recognition, autonomy, and a sense of purpose. Boss: We'll miss you. Man: I was hoping to get that stuff here. Boss: We're more about thankless tasks.

Did Not Know About The Server

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Did Not Know About The Server - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 18, 2019's comic on:


Tags #employees, #excuses, #irritation, #managers & supervisors, #office workers

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Boss: It's been six months now and you still haven't fixed our server issue. Dilbert: I didn't know we had a server issue. Boss: That's no excuse. Dilbert: Actually, it's kind of a good excuse. Boss: Now you're making excuses for your excuses!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 06, 2019's comic on:


Tags #argument, #boss, #complaining, #eating, #managers & supervisors, #office, #office workers, #sounds

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Boss: I need to talk to you about your apple-eating. Dilbert: My what? Boss: Every afternoon you eat an apple at your desk. Your co-workers are complaining because it's loud. They can't work with all of your crispy chewing noise. Dilbert: In my defense, my co-workers are so incompetent that the less work they do, the better off the company is. Boss: That is a surprisingly robust defense. I'll come back if I can think of a counter-argument. Dilbert: Good luck. Crunch.